Kimberly Pauley

“Its kind of a weird feeling, but not painful. Oh but dont drink any carbonated beverages." "Why?""Just dont. Trust me."~George and Mina on the beach, from Sucks to be ME.”

“Myth: Vampires sleep in coffins.Truth: That's totally gross. It would take a total freak to want to sleep in a coffin.”

“The best defense is a confusing offense.”

“A book is never, ever finished. You simply get to a point where you and your editor are reasonably happy with how it is and you go with that. Left to our own devices, a writer would endlessly fiddle with a book, changing little thing after little thing.”

“Myth: Vampires eat only raw meat or drink blood.Truth: Why would we do that when there's chocolate in the world?”

“Myth: Vampires don't eat. Truth: Try telling that to my uncle Mortey. ”

“Myth: Being a vampire changes your life. Truth: Well, we'll just have to see, won't we?”

“Myth: Vampires have no reflection.Truth: That's silly. HOw would you check your makeup?”

“Myth: Garlic repels vampires.Truth: Try telling that to my dad. ”

“Myth: Vampires can read minds. Truth: Geez, I hope not. But it would explain some things about my mom. ”

“Myth: Vampires have incredible vision. Truth: Yeah, which is cool, unless you're trying to sneak something past your eagle-eyed mom.”

“Myth: Vampires have huge stockpiles of gold and treasure.Truth: If that were true, I'd be able to get my dad to actually buy me a car. ”

“Myth: Vampires can shapeshift into bats at will.Truth: Who would want to turn into a giant bat?Wait, don't answer that.”

“Myth: A stake through the heart will kill a vampire.Truth: Well, duh. It would kill anyone.”

“Myth: Caffeine doesn't effect vampiresTruth: True, but I guess it doesn't matter, since you don't get tired anyway.”

“Myth: Vampires have the power to charm people.Truth: Kinda depends on the vampire if you ask me. ”

“Myth: Vampires don't existTruth: Dead wrong.”

“Ernie greets us again and slaps some glasses on the bar. A young-looking guy in the back of the room mutters something about "damn Cullenist" loud enough for me to hear. (Well, me and everybody else, since we've all got superhearing.) What's he talking about? What did I--oh wait, yeah, those vampire books with the sparkly vampires. Great.”