Kristen Ashley

“Lady Luck finally saw fit to shine her light on me but life taught me to share. Welcome to the light.”

“<…>It was an arms crushing me to his body, heads slanting, mouths opened, tongues invading, toes curling, knees weakening, bones dissolving, deep, wet, hungry, carnal kiss. It seemed to last forever but that forever was not near long enough.<…>”

“<…>"You're part-goof all class. Never walked in a room, any room, with a woman on my arm, any woman, who's got your looks, your style, the kinda beauty you got and the light that shines from you. So I don't get it. I don't get how a woman leads a life full of shit and comes out of it bein' part-goof and all class. That shit's impossible but there you fuckin' are. Part-goof, all class." I felt my breath coming fast but managed to whisper, "I'm not part-goof." "You're right. I was bein' nice. You're a total goof." "Am not" "Babe, you call me 'hubby'," he pointed out but my breath came faster because he called me "babe" again. "You are my hubby." "No one says hubby," he told me. "I do," I told him. "All right, I'll rephrase. No one but a goof says hubby."….<…>”

“<…>Days before, seconds after she told him she wanted to have breakfast with her husband and he liked hearing her say that, he liked it too fucking much, he fucked up. Then he kept fucking up. Then he kept fucking doing it. He knew it and he couldn't stop. Then, the instant she pressed her mouth to his, her soft body in his lap, overwhelmed with emotion and sharing that with him he lost control and he knew he couldn't do that. And the only way he could manage to keep control was to stay the fuck away from her, her sweet smiles, her soft voice, her brightness, that fantastic fucking body. He couldn't hold up. So he stayed the fuck away from her and spent a lot of time thinking about how to encourage her to stay the fuck away from him.<…>”

“<…>"No, Ty, you drew it when one second you had your tongue in my mouth, your hands on me and me on my back in your bed and swear to God, swear to God, that was all you had to do, I was this close," she lifted a hand and held her thumb and forefinger an inch apart, "to climax just with that and the next second you took it all away from me. All of it and you fucking know exactly what I'm talking about because the next second I was standing on my feet, you were two feet away but you might as well still have been in fucking California and then I watched you shut down."<…>”

“<…>….That's how he made his living. He gave me a pen and ink. This," he lifted his left arm then dropped it back to the bed. "After he died, I had it inked on me. Took what he gave me to a tattoo parlor right after the funeral and got it started." Her voice held a tone of light dawning as she whispered, "So he was your Ella." Her light dawned clear for her and for Walker because she was right. "Yeah, he was my Ella." "So it was Tuku who brought out my Ty." My Ty. My Ty. Christ. Fuck. Christ. Two words. Just two words. Walker had no clue until that moment that two words could mean so fucking much. He'd never belonged to anyone. He'd never belonged anywhere. Never thought he wanted to. Until he heard those two words. He couldn't keep the thick out of his voice when he confirmed, "Yeah, it was him."<…>”

“<…>When I was done speaking I felt his body had gone still again, stone still. And silent. Then he asked quietly, "Nightmare?" "Nightmare," I replied firmly. Ty didn't move. By a miracle, I held it together. Then he moved but it was to rest his chin on my shoulder and I closed my eyes because I needed him to go, go, go so I could fall apart again on my own. Then he said, "Your nightmare, mama, was my dream." My heart clenched. He kept going. "Never had a home until you gave me one." My breath started sticking. "Never had anyone give to me the way you gave to me." My breath stopped sticking and clogged. "Never thought of findin' a woman who I wanted to have my baby." Oh God. "Never had light in my life, never, not once, I lived wild but I didn't burn bright until you shined your light on me." Oh God. "Whacked, fuckin' insane, but, at night, you curled in front of me, didn't mind I did that time that wasn't mine 'cause it meant I walked out to you." He had to stop. He had to. He didn't. "Your nightmare," he whispered, turned his head and against my neck he finished, "my dream."<…>”

“<…>His body shook as his grin spread to a smile. Then he asked, "You honestly think you can tackle me?" "I didn't say it would be a successful tackle." And then my husband burst out laughing. And I watched. He didn't give this to me often but I always watched. This time it was way better because he was doing it while still inside me. Then his laughter died to a chuckle, he dropped his forehead to mine and his hand came up and curled around the side of my neck. And when he did the last, the laughter died, his eyes held mine and he whispered, "Is my mama home?" I swallowed but I still knew my eyes got bright and my voice was husky when I whispered back, "Yes." He closed his eyes, shifted the lower half of his face and touched his mouth to mine. Then he lifted his head away, opened his eyes and I felt his thumb stroke my jaw. His gaze again locked with mine, he told me gently, "Missed you, baby." I swallowed again and my arms and legs tightened around him. "Me too."<…>”

“<…>Therefore he asked quietly, "Remember I told you about Tuku?" Julius nodded. Ty went on, "Got good friends, a lot of them, feel deep for them all. Only three people in my life got more from me, one of 'em's in the ground, one of 'em's sitting' on the deck and the last is standin' right in front of me." Julius said not a word but held his eyes. Then Ty whispered, "Gratitude, brother." Julius kept his eyes locked with Ty's and whispered back, "Debt paid."<…>”

“<…>Tate fell silent. Ty didn't. "Since the day I was released, you knocked yourself out. You had my back, you took care of Lexie when we had our thing then you did what you could to help me sort that. It's important to me that you know I'm grateful. I've been tryin' to figure out how I can show how much but, keep thinkin' on it, nothin' comes to mind and I know why. I get it. You're a man who has everything so there is nothing I can hand you that you want or need. And I get that because I am now that same man. So the only thing I can give you are words and, my guess is, that'll be enough. If it isn't, you name it and it's yours." "Friends do what I did for friends," Tate returned. "No they don't, Tate. You did what you did for me because you're you. That's what I'm talkin' about." Tate ws silent a moment then he said, "Well then, you guessed right. Words are enough." Ty nodded. Tate tipped his head to the side and asked jokingly, "We done with the near-midnight in the middle of fuckin' nowhere heart-to-heart?" Ty didn't feel like joking and answered, "No." "Then what -?" "Love you, man," Ty interrupted quietly. "Learned the hard way not to delay in expressing that sentiment so I'm not gonna delay. You call me brother and I got one who's blood who don't mean shit to me and today, all this shit done, rejoicing and reflecting, it hit me that I got two who aren't blood but who do mean something. And you're one of those two." "Ty-" Tate murmured. "I will never forget, until I die, what you did for me and my wife and until that day I will never stop bein' grateful." "Fuck man," Tate whispered. "Now, do those words work so you get what you did mean to me?" Silence then, "Yeah, they work." "Good, then now we're done with our near-midnight, middle of fuckin' nowhere heart-to-heart," Ty declared, turned, opened the door to the Viper and started folding in. He stopped with his ass nearly to the seat and looked up over the door when Tate called his name. "I don't have a blood brother," Tate said. "But you should know there's a reason I call you that."<…>”

“You want sweet dreams, lose the attitude and you might find I'll give you reason to have them.Tate to Lauren”

“Tates response, Babe.”

“His back was to me and he was wearing pajama bottoms and nothing else. His shoulders, the smooth muscles of his back, the wide expanse of smooth, tan skin, was all exposed to the naked eye and I was blinded by the beauty of it. So much, it was a wonder I didn't throw out my hand reeling.At that thought, he turned and gave me a view of his chest.At this view, arguably better than his back, I sucked in a breath then whispered to myself, "Oh my God.”

“Life happens and I move on,” she returned. “Life just happened and I’m movin’ on.”

“You’re stuck,” I blurted, his grin died and he blinked.“Come again?”I swallowed, sucked in breath and forged ahead.“I was lost but you… Tate, you got stuck,” I told him.He stared at me and it took a lot but I braved his stare.Then he asked, “You up for the job of pullin’ me out?”“I…” I swallowed again. “No,” I answered truthfully.“No?” he asked, his eyebrows lifting, his face getting dark, his armsgrowing tighter.“I…” I pulled in breath then whispered, “I kinda like it here.”

“Baby?” he called and he felt her eyes on him.“Yeah?” she replied, her sweet voice soft, another tone he was getting used to and this was because the last couple of days it had started to come at him often.“Do me a favor?”“Sure.”“In a second, I’m gonna pull over, get out my gun and give it to you. When I do, shoot me with it.”“What?” she whispered.“I’m facin’ another hour and a half of your music. I’d rather be dead.”Silence then, “Shut up.”

“Then I asked, “Do you lose concentration when a woman you want is in the room?”“I hope not or tonight we’re fucked.”

“That’s the beauty of books. We get to take what we want out of them and it can be different for everyone.”

“Yeah, you lose this attitude, I can help you work that hurt out.”Who was this man? He held onto his tragedy for seventeen fucking years, how could he stand there and tell mehe could help me work through mine?“Really, Joe? Like you helped me work out my grief at losing Tim?” I asked sarcastically.“That’s not what I was offerin’, buddy, but you want it like that I’ll give it to you.”“You’re unbelievable,” I snapped.“I’m yours.”That socked me in the gut too, so hard it winded me and all I could do was stare up at him.Taking advantage, his face dipped close and his hands curled around both sides of my head.“First fuckin’ time you smiled at me in my bed, that’s when it happened,” he murmured.”

“Nothing can fill you up,” she stated.“Nope,” he agreed again.“You won’t let it.”“Barrel’s got a hole in the bottom, buddy, everything leaks out no matter how much you pour in.”She was silent a moment then she whispered, “Right.”She turned to the door and his hand gripped his bourbon so hard he had to focus everything on loosening his grip or the glass would shatter.Before she opened it, she turned back. “You don’t know, Cal, you have no idea.You’ve shut yourself up for so long in this fucking house with your tragic memories, you have no idea what’s about to walk out your door. Kate, Keira and me, we could have plugged that hole. We could have filled you so full, you’d be bursting. We would have loved that chance. We’d have given it everything we had, no matter the time that slid by, graduations, weddings, grandbabies, you’d have been a part of us and we’d have given everything we had to keep youso full, you’d be bursting.”Cal didn’t reply.“Joe,” she whispered, “you let me walk out this door, you’ll lose your chance.”Cal didn’t move.Vi waited.Cal stayed seated.”

“It was like the Justice League of Super Heroes but instead it was the Justice League of Hot Guys.”

“Sweet dreams, baby,” he whispered into myhair, his arm giving me a squeeze. “See you onthe other side.”“You too, Captain,” I whispered...'Lauren and Tate, in Sweet Dreams”

“He raped me, Agent Calhoun, he hit me but he didn’t kill me. As long as I’m breathing,I’ve got fight in me and luckily I’m breathing.”It was at that he whispered, “You aren’t like a lot of women.”“Yes I am,” I whispered back. “I’m like all women. You see this but inside there’ssomething else that I won’t let you see or him see but it’s the mess he left me. But that’smine. No one gets to it. Everything you get and he gets is a show. One thing you learn reallyquickly and really well when that kind of thing happens to you is to be a fucking greatactress. You don’t have a choice in that because a man like that does something like that toyou, you lose having choices. The only choice you have is what role you intend to play. Ipicked my role and that… that Agent Calhoun is what you see.”

“The man who gets Mara gets you and Billie. I’m that man. What you gotta get is, while fallin’ in love with Mara, I fell in love with you and your sister. Straight up, Bud, no lie. The feelings I feel for Mara are hers, the feelings I feel for Billie are hers and the feelings I feel for you are yours. You all have my love, not collectively, individually. Do you understand me?” “Mitch nodded. “Right. What I mean is, I didn’t fall in love with you all as a whole. I fell in love with each of you because of who you are. I don’t care about you because you come with Mara. I care about you because you’re a good kid. You’re smart. You’re loyal. And you love and look out for your sister and Mara. I know grown men who do not have a character as fine as yours. Those are the reasons I love you. There are different reasons I love Billie. And there are different reasons I love Mara. Today, what we had together was good. But the feelings I feel for you aren’t feelings I have to have in order to have Mara. They’re feelings you earned. Now, you with me?”

“You sleep okay, sweetie?” “Miss my teddy,” Billie replied. Personally, I thought Detective Mitch Lawson was far superior to a tiny pink teddy bear but I wasn’t six years old.”

“Mara,” his arms gave me a squeeze, “baby, you’ve got to live in the now. Not in your head. Not controlled by your fears. You can’t live for what might happen five months in the future. You got issues you gotta face today. You gotta deal with them now. You got two kids who count on you and their lives aren’t gonna go perfect every day because you weigh every decision you make and tread cautiously. Those options are no longer available to you. You’re gonna have to live day to day and make decisions on the fly. And I’m tellin’ you I’m here to help. You need it and they need it. Are you honestly gonna say no?”

“I looked to the ceiling and told God, “God, next time I want an adventure, strike me with lightning. You have my permission.”

“I’m tipsy, not blitzed.”Max twisted back and pulled into the road. “What chance I got you won’t pass out on the way home?”I waved my hand in front of me and declared, “Oh, I’ll be fine.”“Right,” Max muttered.“Can we listen to music?” I requested and Max turned on the music.Five minutes later I was dead to the world.”

“Holy crap,” Mindy whispered.“Jesus Christ,” Brody muttered.“Oh my God,” I breathed.“What the fuck?” Max clipped.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Duchess.”“Max!”“All right, I’ll kiss you.”

“I’ve shared more breakfasts with you thanany woman I’ve dated in the last year and a half,” Mitch returned.“I know what you look like in the morning. I know what you act likewhen you come home tired after work. I know that you pick the leastexpensive thing on the menu either to be nice or to be annoying inorder to put me off. But I think it’s to be nice because youare nice and also both times you thought you’d be spendingtime with just me, you dressed in a way that would not, in any way,put me off. I know you cuddle when you’re sleeping. I know you takeonly milk in your coffee and you make coffee strong. I know you’rereally good with kids. And I know that you use music and scents toregulate your mood. So I’m thinking this is not a first date. Thisis more like us hittin’ the six month mark. And the six month markis when you stop talkin’ about shit that really doesn’t matter andstart talkin’ about shit that means everything.”

“No matter what,” he said, his voice fierce and strong and rumbling through me. “You told me I was home to you and I get it. You’re home to me. I’ve never had a home. I like the one I found and I’m not losin’ it. No matter what.”

“I closed my eyes and my body settled.Without thinking my body knew it'd do anything,anything, for Holden Maxwell.”