Les Martin

“Dr. Blockhead's mocking face was solemn for once. 'Modern science is wiping out deviant strains of the human form,' he said. 'In the twenty-first century, genetic engineering will do more than merely eliminate Siamese twins and alligator-skinned people. It will make it hard to find a person with even a slight overbite or a large nose. I can see that future and it makes me shudder. The future looks like- him'Dr. Blockhead pointed at Mulder.'Imagine going through your whole life looking like that,' said Dr. Blockhead.Mulder shrugged. 'It's a tough job- but someone has to do it.”

“With his bare hands Mulder dug at the loose earth. After a minute, he said, 'I've go it. I just have to pull it out and-'He got no further.He and Scully were blinded by a high power flashlight.When their vision cleared, they saw the sheriff looming over them, brandishing an ugly-looking .45.'May I ask what you're doing?' he growled.Mulder held up what he had found in the earth: a piece of raw potato.'Exhuming your potato,' was all he could say.”

“A smile spread over Dr. Blockhead's face. 'But where are my manners?' he said. 'What a bad host I am. Let me offer you a little refreshment.'He picked up a jar, opened it, and held it out to Scully. 'Is that what I think it is?' she asked.'The finest assortment of living crickets money can buy,' said Dr. Blockhead. 'And all quite recently captured. If you don't believe me, read the expiration date on the label.''I believe you,' said Scully, still peering at the contents.She reached in and picked out her cricket. Then she put it in her mouth and crunched down.She smiled at Dr. Blockhead. 'Thank you so much for the treat,' she said.Then she gave him a dazzling smile and walked away.'That Scully,' said Mulder, shaking his head. 'She's just full of surprises.”

“Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?' [asked Mulder].Nutt drew himself up to his full height. 'And what makes you think I've ever even gone to a circus, let alone been a slave in one?' he demanded...Finally Mulder managed to say, 'I didn't mean any offense.''Offended? Why should I be offended?' Nutt demanded. 'It's human nature to make quick judgements of people based only on their looks. Why, I have done the same thing to you.''Have you?' said Mulder. 'And what have you concluded?''I have taken in your all-American face, your unsmiling expression, your boring necktie. I have decided you work for the government,' Nutt said. 'You are- an FBI agent.''Am I really?' Mulder said.'I hope you get my point,' Nutt said. 'I want to show how stupid it would be to look at you as a type, rather than as an individual.''But I am an FBI agent,' Mulder said, showing Nutt his badge.There was a loud silence.Then Nutt said, 'Sign the book please.”

“Mulder looked down at his partner. 'Please get better,' he said. 'I'm going to need all the help I can get.' He might have been crazy, but he thought he saw her head give a tiny nod. He'd have to wait and see.”

“I didn't know you were a techie, Mulder.' said Scully...'I used to fool around with ham radios when I was a kid,' Mulder said, not looking up from his work.'Let me guess why,' said Scully. 'Ever succeed in making contact with a spaceship?'...'No,' said Mulder. 'But it wasn't from lack of trying.”

“I have to admit, this place gives me the creeps.' [said Scully].'The creeps?' said Mulder with a smile. 'Just because a bunch of big, strong men cleared out so fast they didn't finish their food? And then vanished into thin air? Don't be silly. I'm sure there's a nice scientific explanation. Oh, sorry Scully. You're the one who's supposed to be telling me that, right?”

“Scully was doing the driving, which she preferred. Mulder knew only two speeds: fast and faster.”

“They vanished in the same forest without a trace. Not one of them was ever found or heard from again.''And you suspect what?' Scully asked. 'Bigfoot maybe?''Not likely,' Mulder answered deadpan. 'That's a lot of flannel to choke down. Even for Bigfoot.'Scully sighed. She should have known better than to joke about Bigfoot to Mulder. Bigfoot wasn't a joke to him.”

“Scully liked neatness and order. This office was her notion of a nightmare. She had no idea how Mulder ever found anything he wanted. But he always seemed to.”

“Mulder had too brilliant a record to be dismissed as a loose cannon. His bosses had to find another way to protect their peace of mind. They did. They made Scully his partner.”

“Mulder, I want you to meet your new assistant. Special Agent Dana Scully, Fox Mulder.''An assistant? Nice to know I'm suddenly so highly regarded.' Mulder turned to Scully. 'Who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?”

“Mulder gave a crooked smile of welcome. 'Sorry,' he said, 'Nobody down here but the F.B.I.'s most unwanted.”

“Scully nodded. Of course. It made sense. Complete sense. No question about it. Mulder was perfectly sane in telling her all this. And she was perfectly sane in listening to it and nodding and urging him to tell her more. It was the rest of the world that was-She doubled over as a wave of laughter hit her.Mulder looked at her and started laughing too. They stood there in the cemetery in the darkness and the drizzle, laughing their heads off.'You know we're crazy,' Scully finally said.'Of course we are,' Mulder gasped out.”

“Scully could see that Mulder might be a nice guy. Well-meaning. Talented. With his heart in the right place.But his head was definitely screwed on wrong.”