“That's what I need to figure out. I need to figure out who I am. What I want.”
“You can't help who you fall in love with.”
“The tree of revenge yields no fruit.”
“Parents aren't supposed to cry. They're not supposed to have emotions, apart from anger, disappointment and pride. And fatigue. But they're never supposed to cry. It seems like such a personal, private thing.”
“Her heart began to ache, and she felt the numbness slip away. Misery welled up inside her. She clamped down on it, trying to hold onto the deadness that had blanketed her emotions for the past few days.”
“Ava darling, I am willing to admit that these stage crew freaks you hang out with are not entirely made of evil. But please, for the love of Han Solo, don't make me eat fish and chips with them. I just ate two pancakes and a quite disgusting sausage, and If I don't get some salad soon I honestly might die.”
“Sam whacked Jacob over the ear. 'You know,' he said, his voice low, 'those pancakes'll go straight to your hips.'Jacob glowered at him. 'You know,' he mimicked, 'there's a reason nothing rhymes with orange.''There is a reason,' returned Sam. 'It's because orange comes from the Arabic word naranj, which in turn is thought to derive from the Tamil words aru, which means six, and anju, which means five. Because when you cut an orange in half, it has six segments in one half and five in the other. So nothing rhymes with it because we don't have many other words appropriated from Tamil.”
“Ava: 'Girls liking boys is normal.'Pat: 'No, it isn't. It's just common.”
“This episode of my life is brought to you by the letters W, t, and F. I do not understand.”
“Jacob: 'So have you heard that in seventy years there won't be any gingers left on Earth?'Jules: 'Really? Huh. Nature. Awesome.'Sam: 'Actually, it's not true. It was some bogus report cooked up by a hair-dye company to get some extra press.'Jacob: 'Sure it was, Fanta-pants.'Ava: 'He's right. The recessive gene that causes red hair is totally able to skip generations, so redheads won't die out due to genetics.'Sam: 'Thank you, Ava. It's nice to know that someone around here is sensible.'Ava: 'Of course, redheads might become extinct because they find it so hard to get laid...”
“There was a crackle. Kobe's voice came through the cans. "What would you guys do," he said, apropos of nothing, "if Jules turned into a lizard?"Another crackle. "Hey!" Jules said."It wouldn't happen," said Jacob, and I saw him shrug in the half-light."But what if?"I pressed the talk button on my cans. "There's an old fish tank in our garage," I said. "I'd put Jules in it, and then get a heat rock from the pet shop."I heard Sam's low chuckle. "Make sure you wash your hands first.""Why?""So you don't get any lizardy diseases.""I don't have any lizardy diseases!" Jules's voice was getting higher."Not yet, but wait until you're a lizard.""What's a heat rock?" asked Jacob."It's a rock," I told him, "that you heat up. Lizards like them. Anyway, once I'd done that, I'd take you to see my cousin Adam.""IS HE A WIZARD?”
“And hither and thither fly--Mere puppets they, who come and go, At bidding of vast formless things, that shift the scenery to and fro.'"His voice was hushed and whispery in the earphones. "Mere puppets," he repeated. "It's Edgar Allen Poe.""So are we the vast formless things?""Yep."I grinned up at him. "Are you calling me fat and unshapely?"His low laugh tickled my ears. "Quite the contrary," he said. "Jacob can be vast, and I shall be formless. Your form is very pleasing.”
“School's okay. I mean, it's the usual oppressive regime of fascist dogma. But I'm surviving.”
“Sam sighed. "Let's just say that I'm a terminal disappointment. And a ranga."I frowned. "What is that? The others keep saying it."Sam hesitated for a moment. "It's...Greek. It means debonair and handsome and generally made of awesome."I regarded him skeptically. "It's short for orangutan, isn't it?" I said. "Because you're a redhead."Sam looked disappointed. "Maybe.”
“Finally getting that sex change? I'm proud of you, brother. I mean, sister.”
“I think that sometimes the whole larger-than-life gay thing is just another kind of closet. It's easier to be different if you're very different, if you go all-out on purpose. Because that way you can still hide who you really are.”
“No, seriously,' choked Sam, his eyes streaming. 'You're such a loser, that you've actually stopped losing and have progressed to having just lost. It's over. The game is over. You have lost the game of life. Do not pass Go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.”