Manuel J. Smith

“A BILL OF ASSERTIVE RIGHTSI: You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.II: You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behavior.III: You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.IV: You have the right to change your mind.V: You have the right to make mistakes—and be responsible for them.VI: You have the right to say, “I don’t know.”VII: You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.VIII: You have the right to be illogical in making decisions. IX: You have the right to say, “I don’t understand.”X: You have the right to say, “I don’t care.”YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY”

“Giving reasons during conflict to justify or defend a viewpoint is just as manipulative as giving reasons to attack that viewpoint. Neither of these routes is an honest assertive I want that can lead to a workable compromise of interests to quickly resolve the conflict.”