Marc Acito

For those who do not know me, I'm very famous. My debut novel, How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship and Musical Theater won the Oregon Book Awards' Ken Kesey Award for the Novel although I sometimes leave out the Oregon part to make it sound more important. It was also selected as a Top Ten Teen Pick by the American Library Association, though it still has not achieved my ultimate goal of being banned by irate fundamentalists. The New York Times chose College as an Editors Choice, it's been optioned for film by Columbia Pictures and is translated into five languages I can't read, though I can now say "cunnilingus" in Norwegian.

FUN FACT #1: My name is also an anagram for "A Comic Art," or "A Comic Rat," depending on how you feel about me.

I was born in Bayonne, New Jersey, on January 11, 1966, attended by Three Wise Guys. The couple who raised me deny it, but I suspect I might be the secret love child of Liza Minnelli and Peter Allen, which explains my effervescent personality and fondness for prescription medication.

FUN FACT #2: I am actually the second cousin once removed of Sandra Dee. As in "Look at me I'm..."

I grew up in Westfield, New Jersey, the small-town star of high school and summer camp musicals. Y'know, the guy who wore Capezio dance shoes and leg warmers to school. In my defense, it was the 1980s.

FUN FACT #3: In the ninth grade, I won the American Legion Good Citizenship Award. It's been downhill ever since.

Like my hero Edward Zanni, I, too, dreamed of going to acting school, though I didn't turn to a life of crime to pay for it. In my case, it was the prestigious music theater program at Carnegie-Mellon University, the oldest BFA acting program in the country. (I changed it to Juilliard in How I Paid for College because no one wants to read a book about a kid whose dream is to go to Pittsburgh.) That dream turned to a nightmare, however, when I was kicked out due to artistic differences: I thought I could act but the faculty didn't. But that's okay, because it eventually gave me the idea for my second book, Attack of the Theater People, which comes out April 15th, the 96th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.

FUN FACT #4: I cried when Leonardo DiCaprio froze to death.

I moved to New York, where I tried to find myself and instead found a blue-eyed charmer with the unlikely name of Floyd. Our first date was the Halloween parade in Greenwich Village, followed two days later by what turned out to be Liberace's final performance. Floyd and I have been together ever since. He's now the society columnist for Just Out, Oregon's gay newspaper, and a very loud tour guide at the Portland Art Museum.

FUN FACT #5: Floyd and I both have the same middle name, which is Evan.

I subsequently transferred to Colorado College, where I graduated in 1990 and went on to study singing in Europe on a Watson Fellowship. Upon my return, I clawed my way to the middle singing comic character roles with companies such as Seattle Opera, Opera Ireland and the Colorado Opera Festival. Despite being lauded for a "booming voice and rubber face," I decided instead to become a writer so I could work at home in bed, like hookers and Winston Churchill.

FUN FACT #6: I have had 36 jobs in my life, and almost as many hair-dos. Neither the jobs nor the hair-dos worked out very well.

I began my writing career with my syndicated humor column, "The Gospel According to Marc," which earned me poverty wages at nineteen alternative newspapers nationwide, as well as the sobriquet "the gay Dave Barry."

FUN FACT #7: When I met Dave Barry, he looked me in the eye and said, "Let's just get one thing clear: I'm the gay Dave Barry."

I still freelance, most notably as a commentator for National Public Radio's All Things Considered