Matthew Quick

“I can be a very valuable friend to you, but you do not want me as an enemy.”

“Only black people can use controversial racial terms such as “Negro.”

“... Kenny G is extremely talented and resourceful and a powerful force to be reckoned with ... Mr. G might not seem evil, but I fear him more than any other human being.”

“Pero todavía me siento agradecido de que te tomaras tu tiempo para enviar a Jesús a enseñarnos todo acerca de los milagros, ya que la posibilidad de que ocurran milagros hace que mucha gente aquí siga hacia delante.”

“¿Nunca te has sentido como si vivieras en un barril de pólvora y estuvieses a punto de estallar?”

“Esta vida puede ser una experiencia muy diferente para cada uno, según lo que tenga en la cabeza.”

“Empiezo a comprender que tenemos una clase de amistad en la que no se necesitan muchas palabras.”

“No deberías tratar de deshacerte de nadie, necesitas amigos, Pat. Todo el mundo los necesita.”

“Lo que sé es que a veces la gente dice y hace lo que cree que los demás quieren que haga.”

“— ¿Y lo hiciste?—¿Hacer qué?—Tener un encuentro sexual con Tiffany.Primero me cuesta asimilar las palabras de Cliff, pero luego me cabreo al comprenderlas.—¡No!—¿Por qué no?No puedo creer que Cliff realmente me esté preguntando eso, sobre todo porque es un hombre felizmente casado, pero le respondo de todas formas.—¡Porque amo a mi mujer! ¡Por eso!—Eso es lo que pensaba —dice.”

“Debes saber que son tus acciones, y no tus deseos, los que te convertirán en una buena persona”

“I need you, Pat Peoples; I need you so fucking bad.”

“Look, sometimes it’s OK with girls like this, they wanna have fun, and sometimes it’s not because they've got a broken wing and they’re hurt and they’re an easy target. In this case, this particular case, I think that wing is being fixed, my friend, and you gotta make sure that it’s mended and you’re getting in the way of that right now, okay, because she’s sensitive and she’s smart, she’s artistic. This is a great girl, you gotta be respectful to that. Come on, let me walk you to your car, you’re a better guy than this.”

“I do wonder why women are always hemorrhaging in American literature.-Pat Peoples”

“Maybe my movie isn't over, I say, because sometimes moviemakers trick the audience with a false bad ending, and just when you think the movie is going to end badly, something dramatic happens, which leads to the happy ending. This seems like a good spot for something dramatic to happen, especially since it's my birthday.”

“[...] because he doesn't ever feel the war that goes on in my chest every single fucking day - the chemical explosions that light up my skull like the Fourth of July and the awful needs and impulses and...”

“...it's not fair because I have been trying so hard and how long can this fucking movie last...”

“Dice: «Ho bisogno di te, Pat Peoples; ho un bisogno maledetto di te»,poi si mette a piangere e le sue lacrime mi scendono calde sulla pelle mentre mi bacia il collodolcemente, tirando su col naso.È strano che mi dica una cosa simile, così lontana dal solito «ti amo» delle donne, eppureforse più vera. Provo una bella sensazione mentre la abbraccio, e ricordo ciò che mi ha dettomia madre tempo fa, quando cercavo di liberarmi di Tiffany invitandola alla tavola calda. «Tu haibisogno di amici, Pat. Tutti ne hanno bisogno».E poi ricordo che Tiffany mi ha mentito per molte settimane; ricordo quella storia tremendache mi ha raccontato Ronnie su come è stata licenziata, e ciò che mi ha confessato lei nella suaultima lettera; ricordo quanto è stata stramba la nostra amicizia, ma poi ricordo che nessuno, aparte lei, potrebbe mai avvicinarsi a capire cosa provo ad aver perso Nikki per sempre. Ricordoche il periodo di lontananza è finalmente finito e che, se Nikki se n’è andata definitivamente, hopur sempre fra le braccia una donna che ha sofferto molto, e ha un bisogno disperato di sentirsidi nuovo bella. Fra le mie braccia c’è una donna che mi ha regalato l’Atlante delle nuvole perl’osservazione del cielo, una donna che conosce tutti i miei segreti, una donna che sa quanto èincasinata la mia mente, quante pillole devo prendere, e tuttavia si lascia abbracciare da me. Intutto questo c’è qualcosa di onesto, e non riesco a immaginarmi nessun’altra donna coricatainsieme a me nel bel mezzo di un campo da calcio congelato – in piena tormenta, addirittura – asperare che accada l’impossibile: che una nuvola si liberi da un nembostrato.Nikki questo non l’avrebbe mai fatto, per me, neppure nei suoi giorni migliori.Perciò stringo un po’ di più Tiffany, la bacio fra le sopracciglia perfettamente depilate e dopoun profondo respiro dico: «Credo di aver bisogno anch’io di te».”

“I opened up to you and you judge me”

“I’m a screwed-up person who no longerknows how to communicate with the people I love. But I meant everything I told you inmy letter. If I were your Nikki, I would have come back to you on Christmas Day, butI’m not Nikki. I know. And I’m sorry.”

“He did not deserve to die, and his death absolutely proves that life is randomand fucked-up and arbitrary, until you find someone who can make sense of it all for you—if only temporarily.”

“Why did You give us so many stories about miracles? Why did Yousend Your Son down from heaven? Why did You give us movies if life doesn’t ever end well?What kind of fucking God are You? Do You want me to be miserable for the rest of my life?”

“Tiffany and I are great friends, and I appreciate all that she is doing for me now. But she isnot you. I still love you, Nikki. And you can’t control or alter true love.”

“So I’m thinking this is the part of my movie where things appear as if nothing is going to workout. I have to remind myself that all movie characters go through this sort of dark period beforethey find their happy ending.”

“I am so happy. I am so impossibly happy.”

“She’s just a weird woman,” I say in response.“Aren’t they all?” Cli� replies, and we laugh some because women truly are hard tofigure out sometimes.”

“Instead he thinks up the worst ending imaginable: Hemingway has Catherine die fromhemorrhaging after their child is stillborn. It is the most torturous ending I have everexperienced and probably will ever experience in literature, movies, or even television.I am crying so hard at the end, partly for the characters, yes, but also because Nikkiactually teaches this book to children. I cannot imagine why anyone would want toexpose impressionable teenagers to such a horrible ending. Why not just tell high schoolstudents that their struggle to improve themselves is all for nothing?”

“Next, Cli� says he has a wife named Sonja, who painted theroom so beautifully, which leads to our discussion about how great women are and howit’s important to treasure your woman while you have her because if you don’t, you canlose her pretty quickly—as God really wants us to appreciate our women.”

“Also, I sort of let my appearance go, to the point where I was maybe ten to seventy pounds overweight...”

“There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself.”

“I...have a woman in my arms who has suffered greatly and desperately needs to believe once again that she is beautiful.”

“people outside of mental institutions need to have good morals so that the world will continue to work without any major interruptions—and happy endings will flourish.”

“Do you like foreign films?”“With subtitles?”“Yes.”“I hate those types of films.”“Me too,” Cliff says. “Mostly because - ““No happy endings.”

“After I returned to New Jersey, I thought I was safe, because I did not think Kenny G could leave the bad place, which I realize is silly now - because Kenny G is extremely talented and resourceful and a powerful force to be reckoned with.”

“When I go downstairs, my mom tells me I need to tuck in my shirt and wear a belt, "Why?" I ask, because I do not really care if I look respectable or not. I only want to get rid of Tiffany once and for all.”

“She never laughs or smiles or tells a joke. She reminds me of a robot caked in meat.”

“Of course I began to see Nikki, which was strange because I was staring into Danny's eyes, and Danny is a six-foot-three black man who looks nothing like my ex-wife.”

“Miracles happen on Christmas, Pat. Everybody knows that shit.”

“I have to admit that Emily is a cute kid, and I instantly understand why Ronnie has written me so many letters about his daughter-why he loves her so much. I start to think about having children with Nikki someday and I become so happy that I give little Emily a kiss on the forehead, as if she were Nikki's baby and I was her father. And then I kiss Emily's forehead again and again, until she giggles.”

“You want to be a good person, don't you, Pat?'I nod. I cry. I do want to be a good person, I really do.'I'm going to up your meds,' Dr. Patel tells me. 'You might feel a little sluggish, but it should help to curb your violent outbursts. You need to know it's your actions that will make you a good person, not desire.”

“But the next time Nikki eats too many crabby snacks, I am going to tell her she did not eat too much and that she looks too skinny anyway; I'll say she needs to gain a few pounds because I like my women looking like women and not like 'Ms. Six O'Clock-straight up, straight down,' which is another term I learned from Danny.”

“I nod and I promise I will report any hallucinations to my mother, but I do not really believe I will hallucinate no matter what type of drugs he gives me, especially since I know he will not be giving me LSD or anything like that. I figure weaker people probably complain about their drugs, but I am not weak and I can control my mind pretty well.”

“I think it's strange to live in a house with someone you cannot talk to—especially when that someone is your father—and the thought makes me a little sad.”

“People can be cruel,' he says with a sympathetic look that makes me trust him even more. And right then I realize that he is not writing down all my words in a file, which I really appreciate, let me tell you.”

“By now, ten trees must have been cut down just to document my mental health, which Nikki will hate hearing, as she is an avid environmentalist who gave me at least one tree in the rain forest every Christmas”

“When I read the actual story-how Gatsby loves Daisy so much but can't ever be with her no matter how hard he tries-I feel like ripping the book in half and calling up Fitzgerald and telling him his book is all wrong, even though I know Fitzgerald is probably deceased. Especially when Gatsby is shot dead in his swimming pool the first time he goes for a swim all summer, Daisy doesn't even go to his funeral, Nick and Jordan part ways, and Daisy ends up sticking with racist Tom, whose need for sex basically murders an innocent woman, you can tell Fitzgerald never took the time to look up at clouds during sunset, because there's no silver lining at the end of that book, let me tell you.”

“Soon I am seeing the blue-and-yellow flags that line the campus streets, and it makes me feel happy and sad at the same time to be back at La Salle--almost like looking at old pictures of people who have either died or with whom you have lost contact.”

“When life reaches out with a moment like this, it's a sin if you don't reach back.”

“The only way to beat my crazy was by doing something even crazier. Thank you. I love you. I knew it from the moment I saw you. I'm sorry it took me so long to catch up.”

“Looking into another person's eyes for an extended period of time proved to be a powerful thing. And if you don't believe me, try it yourself.”