Maureen Johnson

“After that, I felt like I had two lives. There was the me I had been before the attack, the one people knew and wanted to relate to. The one people wanted to comfort and fix. And there was another me, a hidden me that no one ever saw. There was a me who had tasted death. That me knew things others people didn't know.”

“Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.”

“Life is always going to be a series of ouch-making moments, and the question was, was I going to go all fetal position, or was I going to woman up? I went into fetal position on the bed to think about this. Fetal position turned out to be very comfortable.”

“Oh, the ongoing love affair between hair and mouths. Hair always goes for the mouth. The mouth opens, and hair says, "I'm going in! I'm going in!" like a manic cave diver.”

“English rain feels obligatory, like paperwork. It dampens already damn days and slicks the stones.”

“This is England," he explained. "Tell someone it's a procedure, and they'll believe you. The pointless procedure is one of our great natural resources.”

“I don't know if there is actually more rain here in England, or if it was just that the rain seemed to be so deliberately annoying. Every drop hit the window with a peevish "Am I bothering you? Does this make you cold and wet? Oh, sorry.”

“There is no normal. I've never met a normal person. The concept is flawed. It implies that there is only one way people are supposed to be, and that can't possible be true. Human experience is far too varied.”

“Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.”

“I try to shake it loose-but these ideas, they cling. It's like I'm shackled to them with an iron chain. They rattle along behind me, dragging against the ground, always reminding me of their presence.”

“The hand that rested on my shoulder rubbed it a bit, comfortingly. Then it gave my shoulder a little squeeze. I leaned into him.Maybe it was that I was broken. Maybe it was just that I was out of my mind. But it occurred to me that I was going to kiss him. The thought just arrived, certain knowledge, delivered from some greater, more knowledgeable place. I was going to kiss him. Stephen would not want to kiss me. He would back up in horror. And yet, I was still going to do it. I reached over, and put my hand against his chest, then I moved closer. I could feel just the very tips of the gentle stubble on his cheek brushing against my skin."Rory," he said. But it was a quiet protest, and it went nowhere.For the first few seconds, he didn't move-he accepted the kiss like you might accept a spoonful of medicine. Then I heard it, a sigh, like he had finally set down a heavy weight.I was pretty sure we were both kind of terrified, but I was completely sure that we were both doing this. We kissed slowly, very deliberately, coming together and then pulling apart and looking at each other. Then each kiss got longer, and then it didn't stop. Stephen put his hand just under the edge of my shirt, holding it on the spot where the scar was. Sometimes the skin around the scar got cold-now it was warm. Now it was alive."So Thorpe says that-Seriously?"Callum was in the doorway.Stephen mumbled what I think was a very obscene word right against my mouth."You realize I now owe Boo five pounds?" Callum said. "Boo! I owe you five pounds!”

“Do you ever sing in the car?""Generally not. But I am driving a police car.""I think people would like a singing policeman. Makes life seem more like a musical. Like Foot-tastic.""You can talk for a long time about nothing.""I certainly can, you charming man!”

“I remember how, at first, I had felt the tension in his lips, as if he was trying to make a barrier between us - then they had relaxed, parted slightly. And that's when I had known he wanted to kiss me, wanted to give in. That little parting of the lips, the little sigh that came out... I would hear that sigh forever. That little, little sound when the whole world seemed to open up.”

“I ran like a thing that runs.”

“It was okay to give up. I'd been brave. Everyone would say so. And yet...even as I opened a dresser drawer and figured out which things I would take with me in this hypothetical scenario, I remembered the problem. There would still be ghosts. I would still have a future.”

“You want to go back to my house the long way?" he asked."Or the shortcut? You have to be cold-""Long way," I replied. "The long way, for sure.”

“I felt like I was faking all of this, like I was playing the part of a student. I had the costume and the props, but I didn't really belong here. I'd pinned notes on the stupid corkboard backing of my desk, and I'd highlighted things...But it was all so meaningless.For about an hour, I had an overwheling urge to grab my bag, stuff in a few things, and take the next train to Bristol. I could be back on my parents' couch that night if I got moving. I could admit that I wasn't ready for this, that the semester was a wash. My parents would be thrilled, I was sure. Not about the semester being a wash--but certainly about having me back where they could keep me safe and sound. It would be so easy to do it. The very idea made me warm inside. It was okay to give up. I'd been brave. Everyone would say so.And yet...even as I opened a dresser drawer and figured out which things I would take with me in this hypothetical scenario, i remembered the problem.There would still be ghostsi would still have a future. I would still go back to school eventually. You can't curl up on the sofa and deny life forever. Life is always going to be a series of ouch-making moments, and the question was, was i going to go all fetal position, or was I going to woman up?”

“Spicy food and I have a close relationship—an obsessive one, in fact. If it’s spicy, I want it. I want to sweat and shake and go half blind from the searing pain . . . which, now that I put it that way, seems really suggestive. But spicy stuff is addictive. That’s a known fact of science.”

“I like to talk. Talking is kind of my thing. If talking had been a sport option at Wexford, I would have been captain. But sports always have to involve running, jumping, or swinging your arms around. You don’t get PE points for the smooth and rapid movement of the jaw.”

“Why Paris? Paris needs no reason. Paris is its own reason.”

“I'm the last of the mad ones.”

“Well, what now? You have no job. I have no job. Wanna play Jenga?”

“Quarrels are a natural part of relationships. Making up is always the best part.”

“Nowhere was good. Except with Eric. He had both perfumed and poisoned her entire world.”

“(It was also helpful that the hotel’s owner tended to turn a blind eye to room sharing. A room filled with too many guests was better than one with no guests at all.)”

“For you, there is underage, and then, there is underage. I believe a taste of wine is perfectly acceptable, but please stick to one glass tonight. Now, let’s work on ambiance.”

“If they bulge in the brain or anywhere else of interest, the wallet is a good alternate location. And I should know.”

“You’ve never told me about your love life, Scarlett. You’re a very pretty girl. You must have a boy shacked up somewhere for your personal delights. I’d bet it’s a booky one, overtones of Harry Potter and a lot of black T-shirts.”

“From this close, she could see the color of his eyes perfectly. They were a misty, shifting blue marbled with gray, like smoke rising through an early morning sky.”

“We all know what we're doing. Whether we realize it or not.”

“The best I ever got was that woman who kept having me come up to fix her TV. There was a lot of bending involved. I felt used and dirty.It’s the price you pay for being one of those weedy but good-looking types, Scarlett said. Weedy? You hurt me. I prefer tall and scrawny. Unlike my partner, who’s right behind you.”

“He was the closest thing she had to a pony.”

“Hot tea," he said, holding the cups. "It's just wrong.”

“One question," I said. "Did you tell me all that because you think I'm going to die?""No," he said. "It's because you're doing something brave, and I felt I should too.""I'll take that as a yes," I said.”

“It's us," Stephen said."Oh, thank God," said a voice.Callum emerged from behind the Dumpster. Even with all that was going on, it was hard not to take notice of this: he wore only his underpants and his socks and shoes....I don't think I hid my staring very well either."Go ahead and change," Stephen said, handing me the bag. "I'll go and get the car.""Please be quick," Callum added. "This is not as fun as it appears.”

“I dumped out the bag and found what had been inside was a bunched-up police uniform, complete with the vest."Where did you get this?" Boo asked."It's Callum's," he said."What's he wearing?""At the moment, not much of anything. Put it on."I noticed Book perk up a bit at this piece of information.”

“Did I just kill someone?""You can't kill a dead person," Callum said. "Makes no sense.”

“All right. Normal rules apply.""Right."The man walked off, leaving us."What are the normal rules?" I asked."He walks away and has a tea break and doesn't ask any questions.”

“No one hid their interest when I walked into the room. I'm not sure if it was the news about Boo or my general appearance. At home, people would have asked. People would have been crawling all over me for information. At Wexford, they seemed to extract what they wanted to know by covert staring.”

“What are you?" I asked."I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams.""And how long did it take you to come up with that?" Jazza asked."I'm a busy man," he replied.”

“Charlotte, dressed in a very short-skirted policewoman's outfit, was leading a dancing brigade, jumping around at the front of the room, her long red hair flapping up and down like a matador's cape. She was head girl, and she would shows us how to party if she had to.I wasn't really sure why Charlotte had decided to come to the party as a stripper. I found myself at a loss for words as she complimented us on our costumes."You're a..." I tried to find the right thing to say. "Really...hot cop?""I'm Amy Pond," she said. "From Doctor Who. This is her kissogram outfit.”

“She looks like a jumper to me. Jumpers do that a lot, stand on the edge and stare out. Never kill yourself in a Tube station. Tip number one. You might end up down here forever, staring at the wall."Stephen coughed a little."Just giving advice," Callum said.”

“No sausage?" he asked.Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record.”

“The kidney was removed with great skill. We have an image of the kidney taken from that broadcast. Viewers are advised that the following image is quite graphic, and-""I am getting so sick of looking at this kidney," I said."It's a farce," Jazza replied. "They act like they're shocked and horrified, and then they show it off twenty times a day.""Have you seen the singing kidney video?" I asked."Ugh. No.""It's really funny. You should watch it.”

“Did you hear?" he asked. "They found another body around nine this morning. It's the Ripper, definitely.""Good morning," I replied."Morning. Listen to this. The second victim...”

“Some other facts I picked up:Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbours Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.Baked beans are very popular in England. For breakfast. On toast. On baked potatoes. They can't get enough."American History" is not a subject everywhere.England and Britain and the United Kingdom are not the same thing. England is the country. Britain is the island containing England, Scotland, and Wales. The United Kingdom is the formal designation of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland as a political entity. If you mess this up, you will be corrected. Repeatedly.”

“I could pretend, at least, and if I pretended long enough, maybe I could make it into a reality.”

“The essay I had to read was called, "An Essay on Criticism" by Alexander Pope.The first challenge was that the essay was, in fact, a very long poem in "heroic couplets". If something is called an essay, it should be an essay.”

“He's been in love with Miss Gina since high school, but he doesn't really know how to talk to girls, so he's just been...staying around her since then. He just tends to go where she goes.""Isn't that stalking?" Jazza said."Legally, no," I replied. "I asked my parents this when I was little. What he does is creepy and socially awkward, but it's not actually stalking.”

“Mouth guard. And I think we'll start you in goal."Goal sounded like a special job. I didn't want a special job, unless that special job involved sitting on the side under a pile of blankets.”