Mel Brooks

“We mock the things we are to be.”

“Tragedy is when I stub my toe. Comedy is when you fall into an open manhole and die.”

“It's good to be the king.”

“As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.”

“If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.”

“Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.”

“They make us live in the crap, and now they're taking the crap away? No! ”

“My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.”

“Humor is just another defense against theuniverse.”

“Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.”

“Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.”

“Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.”

“If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country. ”

“I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.”

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”

“The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.”

“Look, I really don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive, you've got to flap your arms and legs, you got to jump around a lot, you got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy, colorful and lively.”