Moira Young

“I think of what we might say. Him to me. Me to him. I ain’t no soft girl. I don’t know no soft words. Be with me, Jack. That’s what I’ll say. Burn with me. Shine with me.”

“Whatever’s broke, he says, I can fix it. I’ll fix it all. I promise.”

“I hold up the heartstone. It’s burnin hot now. He’s on th’other side. The sound of a heartbeat. In my head, all around me, everywhere. So loud.”

“Jest becuz I’m nine, don’t mean I’m a stupid little kid.”

“G'bye, Saba, he says. You sonofabitch, I says.”

“We like to think we’re in charge of our own lives, but we ain’t.”

“My heart breaks. I hear it break. I feel it.”

“he’s seen enough to know that you can’t kill all the badness in the world. You cut it down in front of you only to find that it's standing right behind you.”

“Like what you see, Angel? He saysI step to the fence. Hook my hands into the links, next to his. I lean in close. He's got tiny white lines around his eyes from squintin. Or maybe smilin. He smells of warm dust an sage.You ain't my type, I says”

“Don’t you dare walk away from this, Jack, don’t you dare, Molly says fiercely. Most people don’t ever feel what yer feeling. Be with her. An if it lasts one hour, one night, a week a month, it don’t matter. Be with her, burn with her, shine with her… fer whatever time’s given to you.”

“Whatever it is, I sure didn’t go lookin fer it.You don’t hafta, she says. If it’s meant to be, it’ll find you. We like to think we’re in charge of our own lives, but we ain’t. Not really.”

“All the time I’ve knowed you, Jack, you kept the door to that heart of yers locked up tight an the key hid away. Looks like she found it.He says nothing. Molly waits. Then:Keys ain’t her style, he says. She kicked the door down.”

“Fer in our dreams we find ourselves. Who we were. Who we are. Who we can become. Sleep. Dream.”

“Until next time, DeMalo says softly.”

“Jack grins. Anyways, Saba likes to look at my bare chest.Lugh looks at me. Frowns. Is that a fact? he says.I feel myself go bright red. It is not a fact, I says. You stinker, Jack.”

“Yer timin stinks, he says.”

“I'm sorry, I says.Fer what? he says.Fer always bein ... you know ... so-Ungrateful? he says.Yeah, I says.Ornery?I guess so.Rude? Pig-headed? Violent?I ain't violent!Oh yes, you are. Very. But I like that in a woman.I laugh. Yer crazy, I says.I was fine till I met you, he says.”

“You got three seconds, he says, then they're comin down. He starts to count. One... two...I turn and run.I can still hear him laughin when I'm halfways back to camp.”

“What does it look like I'm doin? If yer the shy type. I'd advise you to turn around.Oh! I turn ny back on him quick.”

“Like what you see,Angel? he says.You ain't my type”

“It's dangerous to let your enemy see weakness. Weakness can git you killed.”

“There can be beauty anywhere. Even here. An if it ain't there, you can make it yerself.”

“Ever heard of the rule of three? he shouts as we run.No!If you save somebody's life three times, their life belongs to you. You saved my life today, that makes once. Save it twice more an I'm all yers.”

“Lugh got born first. On Midwinter Day when the sun hangs low in the sky.Then me. Two hours later.That pretty much says it all.Lugh goes first, always first, an I follow on Behind.An that's fine.That's right.That's how it's meant to be.Because everthin'set. It's all fixed.The lives of everybody who's bin born.The lives of everybody still waitin'to be born.It was all set in the stars the moment the world began. The time of yer birthin, the time of yer death. Even what kinda person yer gonna be, good or bad.If you know how to read the stars, you can read the story of peoples'lives. The story of yer own life. What's gone, what's now an what's still to come.Back when Pa was a boy, he met up with a traveler, a man who knew many things. He learned Pa to read the stars. Panever says what he sees in the night sky but you can see it lays heavy on him.Because you cain't change what's written.Even if Pa was to say what he knew, even if he was to warn you, it would still come to pass.I see the way he looks at Lugh sometimes. The way he looks at me.An I wish he'd tell us what he knows.I believe Pa wishes he'd never met that traveler.If you seen me an Lugh togather, you'd never think we was the same blood.Never think we grew togather in the same womb.He's got gold hair. I got black.Blue eyes. Brown eyes.Strong. Scranwy.Beautiful. Ugly.He's my light.I'm his shadow.Lugh shines like the sun.That must of made it east fer them to find him.All they had to do was follow his light.”

“Wisdom ain't a virtue I ever aspired to.”

“Did you know, he says, every time you make somethin, any time you make anythin, a little bit of yer spirit goes into it?”

“Yer in my blood, Saba, he says. Yer in my head. Yer in my breath, yer in my bones...gawd help me, yer everywhere. You have bin since the first moment I set eyes on you.”

“Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here.”

“The night starts to drift in. The crimson fingers of the dyin sun bleed into gray. The first stars blink down at us. Not long to wait now.”

“I ain't never seen a creature like that before, she says. He's so smart, he's-More, like a person than a bird? I says.Yeah, she says. That's it.Whatever you do, I says, don't tell him that. I'll never hear the end of it.”

“Lugh goes first always first an I follow on behind. An that's fine. That's right. That's how it's meant to be.”

“Lugh shines like the sun. That must of made it easy fer them to find him. All they had to do was follow his light.”

“I drop back a bit. I listen while they chatter on an Lugh makes us laugh. He always does.We're together agin.Lugh goes first, always first, an I follow on behind.An that's fine.That's right.That's how it's meant to be.Lugh turns around. Smiles.Hey, he says, what're you doin back there? I ain't got a clue where we're goin. Git on up here an lead the way.So I do.”

“I gasp.All around me, the dead are risin.Another leg bone bobs to the muddy surface. Then a skull. A arm bone. They swing lazily. The current grabs 'em an carries 'em away.Wreckers must of used the dry riverbed as a mass grave an now the heavy rain's churnin it all up.I snatch my hands from the water, hold my arms high, outta the way. Slowly I turn in a circle, blinkin the rain away from my eyes.Ohmigawd, I says. Ohmigawd ohmigawd ohmigawd.The river's alive with dead men's bones. It's thick with 'em.My breath's comin shallow an fast.I feel somethin touch me. I make myself look down. A skellenton's wrapped itself around my chest. The skull grins up at me.I shove it away. But when I pull my hands up agin, the whole top half of the skellenton comes with 'em. I'm stuck in the ribcage. The skull's right in my face.I scream. Shake myself loose. Scramble to git away. Lose my footin.I fall. I go unner.An the current sweeps me away.”

“The Free Hawks is fighters, I says.Warriors, she says, like you. An occasional highway robbers.”

“Bloody Jack. What is it with him? What is it about him that he seems to charm everybody an everythin that crosses his path? Ash an pretty well every other Free Hawk, my sister an now my damn crow. I swear, if there was a rock in his path that he couldn’t be bothered steppin over, all he’d hafta do was give it one look an it’d roll outta the way.”

“We're on our own. An I feel calm. It seems crazy . . . but I'm calm. Because now I see what I gotta do. An what I ain't gotta do, which is waste time thinkin that anybody's gonna help us. That somebody's gonna come along an rescue us. I cain't count on nobody but me.”

“You don’t fool me, he says in a low voice.Is that right?Yea, he says. I see it in yer eyes. All you care about’s yer precious brother.That aint true, I says.If it’d been Emmi they took, he says, Emmi an not Lugh…would you of gone after her?I take in a breath to say of course I would but the look on his face stops me. there ain’t no point in lyin when he already knows the truth.He leaves go of me an steps back.I thought so, he says. Yer sister’ll be safer with me than she could ever be with you. You jest ride along on yer high horse an leave her to me.”

“Don't give in to fear. Be strong, like i know you are. An never give up, d'you unnerstand, never. No matter what happens.I stare at him.I won't, I says. I ain't no quitter, Pa.That's my girl.”

“He turns around, all impatient. Now what? I wanna say something to you. I wanna say . . . I dunno . . . more. I could bust apart with all I'm feelin inside of me right now. What with fightin off the hellwurms an gittin my shoulder tore open, an how I felt when I woke up an seen you an, now, here I am, being so close to findin Lugh an I dunno what's gonna happen an--Jack's lookin at me, frowning. What's the matter with you, Saba? he says. I grab his face an kiss him on the lips.”

“Pretty dark in there, says Ash. Did you git lost? I feel a hot flush crawl up my neck. Lucky for me, Hermes trots over an I busy myself strokin his neck. It uh . . . took us longer than we thought to put out the fire, says Jack.”

“Jack lifts his mug. Me an Ike do the same.To Molly Pratt, says Jack.Ike scowls at him. Watch yer mouth, he says.Jeez, Ike, says Jack. All I’m sayin is … to Molly Pratt.Ike looks sly. Leans in an waggles his eyebrows. To Molly Pratt, he says, an her frilly red bloomers.One helluva woman, says Jack.One helluva pair of undies, says Ike.Then they throw their drinks down their necks.”

“Don’t worry, says Ike, I didn’t do yer pretty face no harm. I should of though. After what you done to me.He glares at Jack an Jack actually looks shame-faced. Ike jabs him in the chest with a big meaty finger.You left me, you sonofabitch, he says, hangin upside down, stark naked, with all them women in their—Jack grabs his hand. Not now, Ike, he says. We’ll talk about it later.”

“Ike! Jack yells, pointin at the villains at the table. Look! He's takin seconds!Oh no, he ain't!”

“Before I know what he's up to, he grabs my hand. Hey! I try to pull it away but he holds it even tighter. Saba, he says, I dunno what happy star sent you lookin fer me but I'm mighty thankful it did. If you hadn't of turned up, I'd be dead by now.”

“It towers above us, dark an jagged an dangerous. Behind it, more mountains stretch as far's the eye can see.Is this th'only way to Freedom Fields? I says.No, says Jack. I brought you this way because I thought you'd enjoy the scenery.”

“Jack nudges our pile of clothes with his foot. Grins. Well, ain't this an innerestin sitchation? he says. Two girls naked in the water an me with all their clothes.”

“She leans over an says things that make him throw his head back an laugh like he never heard nuthin so funny in his life. It's sick-makin. Or it would be, if I cared. Which I don't. Liar, whispers the voice inside my head. Liar, liar, liar.”

“I never knew that missin somebody could hurt, I says. But it does. Deep inside. Like it's in my bones. We ain't never bin apart till now. Never. I dunno how to be without him. It's like... I ain't nuthin.”

“Love makes you weak. Carin fer somebody that much means you cain't think straight. Look at Pa. Who'd wanna end up like him? I ain't never gonna love nobody. It's better that way.”