Nick Spalding
Nick Spalding is an author who, try as he might, can't seem to write anything serious.
Before becoming a full-time author, he worked in the communications industry, mainly in media and marketing. As talking rubbish for a living can get tiresome (for anyone other than a politician), he thought he'd have a crack at writing comedy fiction - with a very agreeable level of success so far, it has to be said. Nick is now a multimillion seller. This flabbergasts him every single day.
Nick lives in Hampshire with his lovely (and extremely patient) wife. He's now in his late forties - and is rather annoyed at the universe about it, because it gave him no choice in the matter. He's also addicted to Thai food and roast potatoes (not together), still thinks Batman is just about the coolest thing on Earth, and has a dreadful singing voice.
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Find out more about Nick and his books at www.nickspalding.com
“I was consumed by some kind of unholy, indignant rage that propelled me through the confrontation to its successful conclusion - and out the other side into the cool, calm lagoon of reflective dread known as the ‘what the fuck have I just done?’ feeling.”
“I have no idea why this is. I’m sure somebody with a beard and too much time on their hands would say it has something to do with sex - but they’ll say that about anything.”
“The second she touched it, the blue screen of death appeared, along with that dissonant gank noise Windows makes when it decides the stress of existence has become too much and commits electronic suicide.”
“I'm standing on a gigantic book, floating in space...I will never need to take drugs in my entire life!”
“You might discuss important philosophical topics, such as the nature of existence- or what a bunch of lying toe rags politicians are.”