Noel Coward

“It's a sad reflection on society how many people are shocked by honesty... and how few by dishonesty.”

“[Garry Essendine]: That is no prostitute, but the wife of one of my best friends!”

“It is my considered opinion that the human race (soi disant) is cruel, idiotic, sentimental, predatory, ungrateful, ugly, conceited and egocentric to the last ditch and that the occasional discovery of an isolated exception is as deliciously surprising as finding a sudden brazil nut in what you know to be five pounds of vanilla creams. These glorious moments, although not making life actually worth living, perhaps, at least make it pleasanter.”

“Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build.”

“To know you are among people whom you love, and who love you – that has made all the successes wonderful, much more wonderful than they'd have been anyway.”

“its discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by decite”

“Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.”

“Act I, Scene 1GARRY: ....My worst defect is that I am apt to worry too much about what people think of me when I'm alive. But I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm changing my methods and you're my first experiment. As a rule, when insufferable young beginners have he impertinence to criticise me, I dismiss the whole thing lightly because I'm embarrassed for them and consider it not quite fair game to puncture their inflated egos too sharply. But this time my highbrow young friend you're going to get it in the neck. To begin with your play is not a play at all. It's a meaningless jumble of adolescent, pseudo intellectual poppycock. And you yourself wouldn't be here at all if I hadn't been bloody fool enough to pick up the telephone when my secretary wasn't looking. Now that you are here, however, I would like to tell you this. If you wish to be a playwright you just leave the theater of to-morrow to take care of itself. Go and get yourself a job as a butler in a repertory company if they'll have you. Learn from the ground up how plays are constructed and what is actable and what isn't. Then sit down and write at least twenty plays one after the other, and if you can manage to get the twenty-first produced for a Sunday night performance you'll be damned lucky!ROLAND (hypnotised): I'd no idea you were like this. You're wonderful!”

“In tropical climes, there are certain times of day,When the citiens retire to tear their clothes off and perspire.--It s one of those rules that the greatest fools obey,--because the sun is much too sultry, and one must avoid it s ultra-violet-ray.--Mad dogs and englishmen go out in the mid-day sun.--The Japanese don t care to, The Chinese wouldn t dare to. Hindoos and Argentines sleep firmly from twelwe to one.--But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun.”

“Couldn't you see that all my flippancy was only a mask, hiding my real emotions--crushing them down desperately!”

“To hell with God damned "L'Amour." It always causes far more trouble than it is worth. Don't run after it. Don't court it. Keep it waiting off stage until you're good and ready for it and even then treat it with the suspicious disdain that it deserves...”

“People have died from hiccups, you know.”

“You kissed me because you were awfully nice and I was awfully nice and we both liked kissing very much. It was inevitable.”

“All that technical expertise isn't worth a damn if you don't get the best out of people, though. . . . These were leaders who saw strength in ordinary people and showed them how to break tyranny.”

“Television is for appearing on - not for looking at.”

“I'll go and see anything so long as it amuses me, or moves me. If it doesn't do either I want to go home.”

“If by any chance a playwright wishes to express a political opinion or a moral opinion or a philosophy, he must be a good enough craftsman to do it with so much spice of entertainment in it that the public get the message without being aware of it.”

“Wouldn't it be dreadful to live in a country where they didn't have tea?”

“Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.”

“She's a self-conscious vampire ... and she goes about using sex as a sort of shrimping net.”

“It'll never get well if you pick it.”

“It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”

“It's a pity you didn't have a little more brandy. It might have made you more agreeable!”

“What I adore is supreme professionalism. I’m bored by writers who can write only when it’s raining.”

“I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me. ”

“I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise. ”

“Entering an white tie and tails party wearing an ordinary suit, he announced,"Please, I don't want anyone to apologize for over dressing.”

“Thousands of people have talent. I might as well congratulate you for having eyes in your head. The one and only thing that counts is: Do you have staying power?”

“There are dark times just around the corner. There are dark clouds travelling through the sky. And it's no good whining about a silver lining. For we know from experience they won't roll by.”

“Las Vegas:It was not cafe society, it was Nescafe society.”

“Strange how potent cheap music is.”

“I like long walks, especialy when they are taken by people who annoy me.”

“A.E. Matthews ambled through This Was a Man like a charming retriever who has buried a bone and can't quite remember where.”

“My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.”

“AMANDA: I think very few people are completely normal really, deep down in their private lives.”

“I don't know what London's coming to — the higher the buildings the lower the morals.”

“Work is more fun than fun.”