Orlando Winters

“Christians are notorious for acting like used car salesmen, treating non-Christians as if they’re standing there holding a blank check and sporting a hard-on for unreliable vehicles.”

“Like ugly Asian babies, valid superstitions don’t exist. At best, any perceived effect of a superstition is you merely psyching yourself out. Think of it as an asshole placebo.”

“People play the lottery all the time unaware of how mind-bogglingly difficult it is to win. It seems like they take a different approach to probabilities. Their rationale must be, “Well, I can either win it or not win it, so my odds of winning are 50/50.”

“If a couple of gay guys want to throw the gayest, most fabulous wedding of all time, the only way it should offend you is if you weren’t invited.”

“If you want to get rid of the perceived meaning of curse words, you’ll have to get rid of the feelings which bring their use, and that’s not going to happen.”