Phil Wohl

“The Don looked around his cell, including the naked 30 year-old woman sprawled in his bed and steaming bowl of Mussels Marinara sitting in front of him. He was always famished after sex and couldn't envision a life on the outside that would limit all of the things he loved to do. In a way, being on the outside would be like going to jail for Don Vito.”

“As David Zucker watched the casket of his late wife being lowered into the ground, he thought the worst must surely be over and it was time to start the slow healing process to begin life anew.”

“Hartwell’s subconscious was treated to a lengthy reel of the evolutionary tract of cetaceans – from their early days as hoofed creatures with triangular teeth like wolves, to cat-like creatures, to early variations of the hippopotamus, to bottlenose dolphins and Orca, the ‘killer whale’, which is the largest species of dolphin. The hybrid mammal also had the ability to convert to a smaller aquatic mammal, capable of diving into water and hiding beneath the surface to avoid birds of prey.”

“Pete Berman sized up his competition like a predator lining up its prey. Gerry Williams dribbled once with his left hand, stopped on a dime, and nailed an open 15-footer. He had played on the Fellingwood Varsity Basketball Team since his freshman year, and was now a 16 year-old boy in a man's body. Pete sat on a board of the old splinter-ridden, wooden stands fixed on Gerry, but he was unable to defend his turf. His team was losing badly again, and the waiting was pure agony.”

“Instead of engaging in meaningless conversation and attempting to find out who Justice was, Daniel tapped into his brain and searched for his vampire memories. He saw various iterations of him torturing Carla, and then a scene of Carla and Drew getting revenge, George Washington Carver style, all before Justice could get a piece of buttered toast in his mouth.”

“Daniel exposed his machete-like fangs much to the delight of Hartwell, who was gasping for air like a fish out of water. He furiously bit into Hartwell’s neck and drank his blood until he could sense the injured party slipping away. The beauty of a life on the edge did not escape Daniel at this moment. He wiped his mouth clean of Hartwell’s blood and then bit into his own wrist, while also using his powerful mind to pry open Hartwell’s mouth.Daniel’s blood flowed through the body at rest and shot around Hartwell’s veins like he had ingested a case of energy drinks.”

“It’s finger time!” Steve simply grunted.Li responded like she always had to the request over the past years, by walking over to the tall oak cabinet in his office and pulling out a pack of Vienna Fingers. She then closed the door and walked around the desk and dropped to her knees, crawling the few extra feet under his desk. Li handed the red and white plastic package of cookies to Steve, who slid the tray open while his virtual slave unzipped the trousers of his blue Armani pinstripe suit and then dug deep to find his pleasure source.Twenty seconds later, when both of them had consumed their mid-afternoon snacks, Steve transitioned back into his unrelenting work persona.”

“It was a rite of passage each year at Manhattan Life Insurance Company. The golden doors would open every summer to a new crop of bright-eyed college students, all of which were over-qualified for a job that required little more than a high school-equivalent GED and a fully loaded MetroCard.”

“With every plus there must be a minus; with every tear there must be a smile; and for every skunk there must be a fragrant flower. We live our lives in fear of dying and we overlook the simple truth that living is all we can control. Never too high, never too low will get you stuck in the middle of the road. A sense of equilibrium is needed to see life as it is, not what you would like it to be.”

“Brad Green, almost overnight, became the poster boy for the common Wall Street tale - proving once again that greed, most definitely, kills. Giving away about 99% of his fortune was also front page news, but Green barely blinked at having to scrape by with only $200 million. The government seized all five of his homes, his three boats, two jets, a helicopter, 14 cars, and all of his assets except the $200 million he stashed for a rainy day in an offshore bank account.”

“Gil sat baking in the sun for at least 45 minutes before one of the tour guides noticed him looking listless and leaning to his left side. As she approached him, she noticed that he had a stupid grin on his face.“Are you all right, Mr. Cohen?” she asked as she tried to slowly help him to his feet.His shirt was drenched with sweat and his skin was mostly clammy, signally that he was suffering from the middle stages of heat stroke.“It’s not so bad?” he muttered as he struggled to stand straight up. “What not so bad, Mr. Cohen?” one of the tour guides asked.“Death,” Gil stated in a glazed response.The guide looked at the heat-stricken man who appeared to have amoment of clarity amidst all of the sweat and dehydration. “Why is death not so bad?” she pressed on. Gil took a big swig of Gatorade and replied, “Because life wasn’t so great.”

“The suite was set: Chris and I in the left, back room; Tom and Ricky in the left, front room; Junior and Danny Tampon in the back, right room next to the bathroom; and Dickstein all by his peanut-dick-self in the front, right room. It was quite a radical change from the suite that surrounded me, Chris, and Tom the previous year. Just getting rid of Lebeuf was addition by subtraction. The Beachside Dorm, Suite 524, would be one of the happiest places in my two-decade life. Freedom of expression was never diminished, unless Dickstein opened his mouth and shit flew out of it.”

“If you told me a year ago that I would kiss a girl when I was 12, then I would have either laughed at you or started to sweat. Girls have always been a puzzle of which I have failed to connect the pieces. They are so complicated and emotional that the average dude has absolutely no chance to get within shouting range.”

“The full extent of Samuel’s powers had yet to be determined because he was in a Claire Vinson daze for much of his rapid acceleration to adulthood. The combination’s were endless as his father Maxwell had emerged from the union of Daniel and Nicole – vampire and protector – with a full cycle of facades, including wolf, hippopotamus, Orca killer whale and Bottlenose dolphin. But he also had the capability of copying anything he could see and he was a master of battle strategy.”

“After over a century of one of the deepest blood feuds in the history of inhuman warfare, peace had finally descended on the sleepy coastal town of Beach Haven, New York. The unstable element of calm, however, is that it can retain its current form only when the variables remain relatively constant.”

“Abraham Ellison dipped his sword in the pool and the red from the blood floated ominously across the water’s surface. He had been waiting all night for his vampire to arise from his 100th death and take his place among the ranks of the mortals. There was no discussion, no words of parting, or speeches of regret, as Ellison held his former superior’s head and made a powerful cut to his new life - a life of solitude as a normal man living on his own terms.”

“I reached into the pile and pulled out a few connected chips and then was about to shove them into my mouth, when I saw what appeared to be the face of an angel sitting next to me. And, if it was in fact my actual guardian angel, then it probably would have been poor form not to offer a few chips to extend an olive branch.”

“Bruce looked at David and David asked, “Is that Harold?”He was wearing the same Meadow Brook Basketball jacket and had only a few gray hairs left on his round head. Harold walked up to his two favorite players and exclaimed, “Give me five!” and he extended both hands and the guys lightly slapped his palms, as the other eight ex-players chuckled in the background.The cylinders started clicking in David’s mind as Harold said, “On the other side.”The guys lightly slapped the knuckle side of Harold’s hand as David said, “Oh, shit!”

“Gary’s immediate thought was that either this woman wasn’t planning on wearing much in the way of clothing for the duration of her stay, or she liked to wear clothes repeatedly until they were ripe.”

“Swish,” the net sounded like the blast of a cannon, signaling the game was tied at 64. Dave then saw the second shot in his mind before even going into his pre-shot routine. The ball tickled the front rim, brushed against the backboard, and then dropped through the net. The home crowd erupted as Dave backpedaled toward the opposing rim. Central High attempted a last-second shot that fell short into Breslin's hands. The fans rushed onto the floor as the number two train came roaring into the station, bringing Dave back from his glorious past back into the oppressive heat of the present.”

“The one general theme I took away from that first week with my new friends, was that everyone had their issues. Life in its simplest form is an attempt to deal with and avoid potential impediments. Some families take dysfunction to lofty heights while other break apart like Oreos mixed in a blender.”

“This is the first year for me as a teacher and, by the looks of this class, I’m hoping it won’t be my last.”

“The only rule is that you can't cross this line. If the ball hits you, you'reout. If someone catches a ball you throw, you're out. We'll keep playing until there are five of you left,” Dinkleman explained.I thought to myself, “What the fuck? That was like, four rules, not one.”

“You see two people making delectable Italian food, and I see thatand a whole lot more.”Inseperable”

“Gil thought for a few seconds and replied, “Yes, love is the answer.”

“I used to love that movie Wall Street and the line‘Greed is good.’ Honestly, the only thing greed got me was five years inprison, the loss of my wife and possessions, and the company I loved,”Brad said slumping in his chair with his head down.”

“Then she turned, punched me in the arm, and ran in herbunk.” I said with a straight face.”

“Don’t do it,” the voice calmly said from the other side of the door. “Ihave a way that you will be able to see your wife and son again.”

“Don’t even think about it.You’ll never catch that big fish with your small hook.”