Rebecca Donovan

“Are you already assuming there’s an us?""I’m getting ready for when there is.”

“I can’t be that person anymore, not now that I know the difference.”

“His strength kept me moving forward, and it was also tearing me apart.”

“He didn’t need to touch me. His attention alone, recognizing my existence, send a flurry of sparks through my body.”

“why did he have look like he just stepped off of an abercrombie bag?”

“What was that about? His mother is practically gushing over you. Not to mention that he’s holding your hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Forget about dating - are you having a wedding you forgot to invite me to?”

“Let me in that head of yours before you start thinking things you shouldn’t.”

“It was more important for me to try, than to not have the chance at all.”

“He was a breath of fresh air after the heart wrenching storm that had engulfed me.”

“I had to sever my emotional cord to escape the anger and shame that silently slithered through my head, disconnecting myself from the stares and whispers that followed me down the hall.”

“I couldn't believe I let him see me like this, unable to fend for myself. I fumed in disgust at my vulnerability. I didn't want Evan to think I needed protecting. I pulled back my torment and let the numb blanket envelop me, pushing away the stirred memories, the noise of the crowd, and the trembling that still lay beneath the surface. I stared at the flames licking at the darkness and everything was lost as I sank deeper into nothingness.”

“Not being liked was so much worse than being invisible.”

“Don't look back, it has already past. Don't look forward, it has yet to happen. Live in the now, exactly where you're supposed to be.”

“Having difficulty deciding? Or are you afraid of tapping into that emotion? I'm sorry you have to feel it, but I think you can create something amazing if you let yourself explore it. It may not help you heal, but it may help you process it.”

“Was it better to get as much out of the moment as possible, knowing it could slip out from under you in a second? Was the actual experience better than the inevitable conclusion?”

“I pushed him away. So he left.”

“I trusted you," Evan bellowed, as the distance grew between us. I stopped and turned back around. He walked towards me until we were only a foot apart. "I trusted you, and you couldn't trust me." I stared back, watching the hurt reveal itself in his eyes. My heart ached in return. "I unpacked for the first time ever - for you. I was honest with you about everything-even with the truth about how I felt about you. I've never been that honest before. I trusted you." His voice drifted into a whisper as he leaned closer to me. "Why couldn't you trust me?”

“It's beautiful," I breathed, admiring the powerful emotion and truth frozen in the single shot. "I love that picture," he admitted softly. "I think it's because I love the girl in that picture.”

“I don't know how to fit you in my world without hurting you too." The truth in my words revealed more than he'd ever know. "Don't worry about hurting me," he replied calmly. "I like being a part of your world, and I understand that it's more complicated than you're willing to share with me. But I'll respect that, for now." He pulled into the parking lot of a drugstore and put the car in park. Evan seemed nervous as he turned to speak to ne. He released a quick breath before he spoke. My chest tightened, afraid to hear what he had to say." "I don't do this." His hands gestured between us. My eyes narrowed, trying to inerpret his meaning. He exhaled and looked out the windshield. "I don't stay, and I'm used to that. And I'm always prepared to leave-because I have to eventually. He stopped again, frustrated with himself. I sat motionless, absolutely convinced I didn't want him to continue - but I couldn't bring myself to ask him to stop. "I want to stay here," he finally decalred. "It would bother me if I left. I mean, I've already unpacked.”

“Are you worried you'd miss me if I left?”

“That's stupid." I stopped to look at him. "why would you want everyone assuming something that isn't true?" "Why should I care?" "So you can ask someone you're interested in to go to the dance with you," I replied, not expecting his lack of concern. "I just did.”

“What if I don't want to be friends with you?" he challenged, grinning again, staring directly into my eyes. Obviously taking me seriously was an impossibility for Evan. Despite not being able to breathe, I connected with his taunting gaze and refused to look away. "Then we won't be friends," I said flatly. "What if I want to be more than friends?”

“There are so many other people in this school-you don't have to know me." "But I want to," he replied with a grin.”

“You are not showing her my baby pictures!” He sounded horrified, which made me laugh. “Come on, Evan,” I teased with a laughing smile, “you were adorable.”

“I knew in that moment, I would never love anyone in my life the way I loved Evan Mathews.”

“Knowing you were right down the hall was way too hard. I couldn’t do it,” Evan declared, sliding under the covers next to me.”

“He leaned toward me and delicately grazed my lips with his. The tease left me breathless, burning for more. “I keep having to remind myself that I can do that,” he smirked.”

“These past two days, I’ve seen a fire in your eyes that I never have before. Granted, it’s mostly anger and frustration, but it’s still emotion.”

“Oh! Did you hear that Haley Spencer asked him to homecoming?” she exclaimed. “Of course I didn’t. You’re my source of gossip, remember?”

“No one tried to get involved with me, and I kept to myself.”

“People change. I mean you barely know who you are when you enter, and you spend that time figuring out what you want from life, and who you want in it. The next thing you know, the people you always thought would be there, aren't. A nd the person you thought you could trust with everything, isn't the person you ever knew at all.”

“I guess you just don't pay attention. I think you're too busy attempting to fade.”

“I survived by keeping my emotions in check – by maintaining my composure and tucking it all away. I managed to stay under the radar, skating through school without anyone truly remembering I was here. My teachers acknowledged my academic successes and my coaches depended upon my athletic abilities, but I wasn’t important enough to make a recognizable social contribution. I was easily forgettable. That’s what I counted on.”

“I love that picture, he admitted softly. I think it's because I love the girl in that picture.”

“Now I was left holding the pieces of my heart, crushed by my own hands.”

“I knew there was going to be pain whether I did anything wrong or not – so maybe I should do something to actually deserve it.”

“And just because you didn’t admit it, you were stupid for each other from almost day one. So even though you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks, you’ve been each other’s person for a lot longer. - Sara”

“We were engaged in a very intricate dance of touching without touching, knowing without saying, and feeling without expressing. We were friends walking along a ledge, a very thin ledge - and I was too caught up in my heightened awareness of his existence to realize how close the ledge was to crumbling beneath my feet.”

“Well let’s get you back to hell before the devil realizes you’re not home.”

“My world was delicately balanced, but the scales never hung even. When something improved, something else had to crumble.”

“Love helped me live life instead of just survive it.”

“In the balance of love and loss, it was love that made me struggle to… Breathe.”