Rich Burlew

“Hi Haley. look, I found all these free swords. They were in my spleen.”

“thog no girly-orc, thog manly-orc who just happens to like figure skating!”

“You know, the first two, I probably should've seen coming. The leprechaun costume? Not so much.”

“You should have seen the look on your skull...”

“Promise me...that you'll...*cough*...you'll dispose of my body in the waste receptacles...conveniently located by the theater exits...”

“Guards! Summon the holy kitty litter! Mr. Scruffy demands poopsies!”

“I think I just had an evilgasm.”

“Sacrificing minions: is there any problem it CAN'T solve?”

“Hey, look, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one.”

“Sorry, Roy, I just don't trust you enough to believe that you lied.”

“You guys go ahead, I'm just going to harvest his kidneys and I'll catch up.”

“No way. I know acid, I've been splashed by acid several times before, and this, sir, is no acid.”

“Fine! Whatever! Just be careful, my hands are still slippery with your blood.”

“So what? That just means I can beat him with both scrolls at the same time!!”

“Druids always pick the hard way; it encourages natural selection.”

“Let's see... "Advanced Flanking Theory", by U.R. Skrood. "Fighting on the Grid", by Minnie Churse. "Moving on Diagonals", by Wun and Ahaff. Ah ha! Here it is: "Attacks of Opportunity Explained", by Ben Dover and Taye Kitt.”