Rick Riordan

“There's another problem," Percy said. "I'm not good with air travel. It's dangerous for a son of Neptune.""You'll have to risk it...and so will I," Frank said. "By the way, we're related."Percy almost stumbled off the roof. "What?”

“Laistry....I can't even say that. What would you call them in English?""Canadians.”

“i held it up, and tried to channel happy dog thoughts toward Cerberus- Alpo commercials, cute little puppies, fire hydrants.”

“I wondered if Olympus had gone to a commercial break, or if our ratings had been any good.”

“Chiron probably wanted me to say, Heck it wa nothing. I eat hellhounds for breakfast. But I didn't feel like lying.”

“The sign was spray-painted in Arabic and English, probably from some attempt by the farmer to sell his wares in the market. The English read: Dates-best price. Cold Bebsi. "Bebsi?" I asked."Pepsi," Walt said. "I read about it on the Internet. There's no 'p' in Arabic. Everyone here calls the soda Bebsi.""So you have to have Bebsi with your bizza?""Brobably.”

“We heard the army before we saw it.The noise was like a cannon barrage combined with a football stadium crowd- like every Patriots fan in New England was charging us with bazookas.”

“Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.”

“Hazel blinked. “Two gods had a horse for a kid?”“Long story.”

“Hey!" said the guy in the video. "Greetings from your friends at Camp Half-Blood, et cetera. This is Leo. I'm the..." He looked off screen and yelled: "What's my title? Am I like admiral, or captain, or-"A girl's voice yelled back, "Repair boy.""Very funny, Piper," Leo grumbled. He turned back to the parchment screen. "So yeah, I'm...ah..supreme commander of the Argo II. Yeah, I like that! Anyway, we're gonna be sailing towards you in about, I dunno, an hour in this big mother warship. We'd appreciate it if you'd not, like, blow us out of the sky or anything. So okay! If you could tell the Romans that. See you soon. Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out!”

“This is Leo. I'm the... What's my title? Am I like, admiral, or captain, or...""Repair boy.""Very funny, Piper.”

“Life is only precious because it ends, kid. Take it from a god. You mortals don't know how lucky you are”

“Nice creepy reptile,” Frank said, very aware of the driftwood in his coat pocket. “Nice poisonous, fire-breathing reptile.”

“Frank nodded grimly. “Well…any goddess who throws a Ding Dong at a giant can’t be all bad. Let’s go.”

“Don't decide yet," Hephaestus advised. "Wait until daybreak. Daybreak is a good time for decisions.”

“Otrera stayed dead the second time," Kinzie said, batting her eyes. "We have to thank you for that. If you ever need a new girlfriend...well, I think you'd look great in an iron collar and an orange jumpsuit."Percy couldn't tell if she was kidding or not. He politely thanked her and changed seats.”

“Jeez, Hazel," Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language."Hazel tried not to laugh. "What did he say?""With the cussing removed? He said he can get us to the top."Frank looked incredulous. "I thought the horse couldn't fly!"This time Arion whinnied so angrily, even Hazel could guess he was cursing."Dude," Percy told the horse, "I've gotten suspended for saying less than that...”

“Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: "The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive."SMASH!"Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin.”

“Frank stared at him. "Unfair? You can breathe underwater and blow up glaciers and summon freaking hurricanes-and it's unfair that I can be an elephant?"Percy considered. "Okay. I guess you got a point. But the next time I say you're totally beast-""Just shut up," Frank said. "Please."Percy cracked a smile.”

“Wisdom's daughter walks alone,The mark of Athena burns through Rome.”

“Life is only precious because it ends, kid.”

“Great,” Percy said. “I always wanted to be glue.”

“Tyson, Frank is a descendant of Poseidon.""Brother!" Tyson crushed Frank in a hug.Percy stifled a laugh. "Actually he's more like a great-great-...Oh, never mind. Yeah, he's your brother.""Thanks." Frank mumbled through a mouthful of flannel.”

“Elections only happen in two ways," Reyna said. "Either the legion raises someone on a shield after a major success on the battlefield-and we haven't had any major battles-or we hold a ballot on the evening of June 24, at the Feast of Fortuna. That's in five days."Percy frowned. "You have a feast for tuna?”

“Percy scowled. "I-I know you."Nico raised his eyebrows. "Do you?”

“Look," Percy continued, "I know I'm new here. I know you guys don't like to mention the massacre in the nineteen eighties-""He mentioned it!" one of the ghosts whimpered.”

“Annabeth's face, her blond hair and gray eyes, the way she laughed, threw her arms around him, and gave him a kiss whenever he did something stupid.She must have kissed me a lot, Percy thought.”

“So I took her hand, and I don't know what everybody else heard, but to me it sounded like a slow dance: a little sad, but maybe a little hopeful, too.”

“A tiny dark object came sailing out of the window and landed at the giant's feet. Polybotes yelled, "Grenade!"He covered his face. His troops hit the ground.When the thing did not explode, Polybotes bent down cautiously and picked it up.He roared in outrage. "A Ding Dong? You dare insult me with a Ding Dong?" He threw the cake back at the shop, and it vaporized in the light.”

“Just his luck he was related to this grubby old dude. He hoped all sons of Neptune didn't share the same fate. First, you start carrying a man satchel. Next thing you know, you're running around in a bathrobe and pink bunny slippers, chasing chickens with a weed whacker.”

“Back in my day, we died all the time, and we liked it!”

“Percy tried to remember. He really did. For some reason, Annabeth and he had visited a spa and decided to destroy it. He couldn't imagine why. Maybe they hadn't like the deep-tissue massage? Maybe they'd gotten bad manicures?”

“He's SO goatly.”

“Hazel squinted. "How far?""Just over the river and through the woods."Percy raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? To Grandmother's house we go?"Frank cleared his throat. "Yeah, anyway.”

“That's because we keep weapons in the attic, silly boy. Do you think this is the first time monsters have attacked our family?""Weapons," Frank grumbled. "Right. I've never handled weapons before."Grandmother's nostrils flared. "Was that sarcasm, Fai Zhang?""Yes, Grandmother.""Good. There may be hope for you yet.”

“Percy smiled. He knew the stakes were high. He knew this day could go horribly wrong. But he also knew that Annabeth was on that ship.If things went right, this would be the best day of his life.He threw one arm around Hazel and one arm around Frank."Come on," he said. "Let me introduce you to my other family.”

“Now, come over here so I can pat you down.""But you don't have-" Percy stopped. "Uh, sure."He stood next to the armless statue. Terminus conducted a rigorous mental pat down."You seem to be clean," Terminus decided. "Do you have anything to declare?""Yes," Percy said. "I declare that this is stupid.”

“If I'm going to burn, it might as well be bright.”

“Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tyson pounding the Earthborn into the ground like a game of whack-a-mole. Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: "The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive."SMASH!"Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin.”

“He uncovered the boat, his hands working the knots like he'd been doing it his whole life. Under the tarp was an old steel rowboat with no oars. The boat had been painted dark blue at one point, but the hull was so crusted with tar and salt it looked like one massive nautical bruise.On the bow, the name Pax was still readable, lettered in gold. Painted eyes drooped sadly at the water level, as if the boat were about to fall asleep. On board were two benches, some steel wool, an old cooler, and a mound of frayed rope with one end tied to the mooring. At the bottom of the boat, a plastic bag and two empty Coke cans floated in several inches of scummy water."Behold," Frank said. "The mighty Roman navy.”

“Maybe if he did really well they'd give him some mouldy apples.”

“Frank imitated the voice of Vitellius: 'They're wimps! Back in my day, we died all the time, and we liked it!”

“So why are we practicing this, anyway?" Percy asked. "Do you guys spend a lot of time laying siege to fortified cities?”

“There!" Mars finished writing and threw the scroll at Octavian. "A prophecy. You can add it to your books, engrave it on the floor, whatever."Octavian read the scroll. "This says, 'Go to Alaska. Find Thanatos and free him. Come back by sundown on June twenty-fourth or die'.""Yes," Mars said. "Is that not clear?""Well, my lord...usually prophecies are unclear. They're wrapped in riddles. They rhyme, and..."Mars casually popped another grenade off his belt. "Yes?""The prophecy is clear!" Octavian announced. "A quest!”

“Dakota's head was stuck in his toga. He staggered around olike a Kool-Aid-stained ghost."Um," Percy said, "should I wear my bed sheets?”

“They're Lares. House gods.""House gods," Percy said. "Like...smaller than real gods, but larger than apartment gods?”

“A general never shows despair. He instills confidence in his troops. He leads them forward, even into the mouth of death.”

“I didn't answer, but, please—nothing is obvious with boys. For such simple creatures, they are quite baffling.”

“The right choice is hardly ever the easy choice.”

“She wanted me to betray you guys, and I was like, 'Pfft, right, I'm gonna listen to a face in the potty sludge'.”