R.L. Mathewson

“She also wasn’t the type of woman who made men drool, besides him, and got the attention of every guy in the room, but that was okay because none of them should be fucking looking at her anyway.”

“How do you make a living if you’re writing a book?” Joshua asked. The boy was getting a bike for Christmas that’s all there was to it.David squirmed in his seat. “It doesn’t pay anything yet.”“So, then what do you do to pay the bills?” Joshua asked. Forget the bike, he was getting a go-cart.”

“What would my little grasshopper like?”…She glared over her shoulder at him. “I’m not going to call you Mr Miyagi you know.”“Yes you will, but that’s not important at the moment.”

“It’s nice to have eye candy around for my enjoyment.” He looked Brad over. “It wouldn’t kill you to pretty yourself up if you’re going to be in my presence.”“Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” Brad said wryly. “See that you do.”

“Hey! I thought you said you were gay!” the man said accusingly. Without missing a beat Jason said, “She is. I’m just her bitch.”

“Hey, those look good! Can I have one?” a man she’d seen hundreds of times around Jason’s house asked, reaching out to take one. “Back the fuck off! She brought them for me, you bastard!” Jason snapped.”

“Wait, you don’t have a license. You can’t drive.”He turned the car on and threw it into drive. “Hmmm, look at that, it seems I can.”

“For as long as you want me, Madison. I am your man.”

“I’m not asking you to love me. I’m asking you to let me love you. I’m fine if you never say it. I just want you, Madison.”

“I’m honoured beyond words that I was your first.” And last, but she didn’t know that yet.”

“Why does he get to sit in front?” Jill whined.“Because my mommy doesn’t love me and you won’t stop bitching. Now sit back and let me enjoy shotgun.”Chris gently pushed Jill back with a finger to her forehead.“Jerk.”“You know it.”

“What did you do?”“What makes you think I did something?”Chris snorted. “You’re the guy. Of course it’s your fault. Even when it’s not your fault, it’s your fault.”

“Madison looked down at her cookie and back at Chris. “Why did he get a brownie and I only got a cookie?”“Because I love him unconditionally and you’re making him sweat.” Chris stuffed the rest of the brownie in his mouth.”

“You are mine, Madison. You’ve always been mine. You just didn’t know it and neither did I, but you’re mine, sweetheart, all mine and I’m never going to let you go.”

“No baby, I’m not gay.”

“David held the knife up with a shaky hand. ““Get that damn thing out of my face, boy.David shook his head. “No, you’re going to hit me!”“Of course I am and you’re only pissing me off more with that damn knife!”

“Asshole," Ephraim muttered as he turned back around.Chris chuckeled. "Is that really any way to talk to your favorite child?""You're not my favorite," Ephraim argued, but they both knew that was bullshit. "I don't have any favorites.""Puhlease," Chris said. "You fucking adore me...”

“You spit in this?""Yup."Chris shrugged. "As long as you're honest.”

“Married?" she practically screeched, not sounding all that pleased, which left him feeling a little offended. "We're not getting married."He snorted at that. "I may have let you have your naughty little way with me for the past couple of months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to keep treating me like some dirty little boy toy. If you want to live with me then I expect you to put a ring on my finger," he said, holding up his left hand and wiggling his ring finger to punctuate his words.”

“They stared at each other for several long minutes hoping the other would give in. Finally she broke. “Fine, will you go in with me then?” “Will it make you feel better?” “Yes.” “Sure thing. The worse thing that could happen is people will think you are carrying my baby. I’m sure it’s perfectly normal for a female teacher to be with her male student at a pharmacy in the middle of the day buying a pregnancy test. What could go wrong?” he asked wryly.”

“Her hands shot up. “See that’s exactly what I’m saying. You’re seeing what you want, and what you see you explain away and excuse things like you’re fixing me. I’m not perfect, Ephraim and I really wish you would see that.” “You drool.” “What?” That caught her off guard. “When you’re asleep you drool. I’ve woken up more than a few times with a little puddle forming on my chest.” After a thought he added. “And you snore. Not a delicate snore either mind you.” “I do not!” Her face colored with indignation. He sighed heavily as if the knowledge pained him. “Oh, but you do. I’ve even heard Jill talk about it. Did you know that’s the main reason she was happy about her room. Actually, she and Joshua thanked your Grandmother for putting you at the other end of the house, something about finally getting a decent night’s sleep. They compared your snore to a chainsaw. I can see why they’d say that.”

“You knew? How the hell did you know?" he demanded,wondering which bastard in his family had ratted his assout."It wasn't too hard to figure out, Trevor," she murmured, looking totally enthralled with what she was doing."What the hell does that mean?" He'd been careful, very careful. He'd neverread anything in front of her, neverwrote anything more than his name or a word or two in her presence. There wasno way she could have found out withoutone of his interfering relatives clueing her in."Who the hell told you?" Zoe rolled her eyes even as she leaned over to press a quick kiss on his lips, which made him slightly happy, but not enough to forget that he needed to kill one of his relatives."You never read anything around me. Youthink you tricked me into reading for you. Then there was the time we ran out of condoms and you flipped out because you thought there was supposed to be 42 condoms in the box of 24.""Would it have killed them to put a few extra condoms in the box so that you could have seen to my needs?" he asked, remembering that damn night and trying not to wince. Okay, so maybe he gave himself away...just a little.”

“That better not be what I think it is," Joe mumbled in the dark.It was. "It's not. Jeez, woman, someone's paranoid. It's my pocket light," he said, wincing. Ah, he was only human after all. It wasn't the first time she got him hard nor would it be the last time. The physical discomfort was a small price to pay to have her in his arms."Well, then your flashlight is growing. Jeez, Eric, put a leash on that thing before it stabs me!" she teased."But it likes you," he pouted.She giggled. "I seem to remember a certain tenth grade math class where it liked standing up in front of the entire class."He sucked in a breath. "Hey, that traumatized me!”

“You missed breakfast," Jason announced as Trevor stepped into the large busy kitchen filled with Bradfords and food."That's fine. I'm not really hungry," he said, barely aware or caring that all activity in the busy kitchen suddenly stopped as every Bradford in the room, even one year old Cole stopped trying to climb onto the counter to get at the large platter of cookies his mother made to stare at him in disbelief.”

“She spied the rolled up hose and made a snap decision. This ended here and now.The days of being the world’s biggest pushover were over.”

“Can we get back to work now?" Haley asked, sounding innocent, but Zoe didn't miss the woman's lips twitchingor the humor sparkling in her eyes. Something told her that this woman truly enjoyed torturing her husband."For god sake's, my little grasshopper, you love the Yankees more than I do! What the hell is going on?" He turned accusing eyes on Zoe. "How dare you brainwash my wife?" he hissed."A re you going to leave so that we can get some work done?" Haley demanded, turning her attention to the computer."No," he said stubbornly, folding his arms over his chest, glaring at them."Buttercream frosting," Haley said softly, never taking her eyes away from her computer screen.Jason licked his lips as he looked his pregnant wife over hungrily. "Tonight?" he croaked out."If you're good," Haley said, with a small shrug. "But you have to leave-""Bye," Jason said quickly, cutting her off and rushing out of the trailer just as fast as he came.”

“I like her," Brad said, chuckling."For a Red Sox tee shirt wearing woman I guess she's okay," Jason grumbled."Does no one care that she just manhandled me?" Trevor demanded, facing the men who should be properly outraged on his behalf.Jason snorted. "A s long as she brings me food she can bitch slap you and call you spanky."Trevor narrowed his eyes on the men who dared laugh at his pain.Betraying bastards.”

“What if I promise to make you a batch of brownies tomorrow?" she asked, decidingto use his love of baked goods against him.He snorted in disbelief as he got to his feet. "I'm not some whore you can buy with apan of yummy baked goods, woman. How dare you insult me?" he said on a sniff ashe folded his arms over his chest and did his best to look put out."Fine," Haley said with a sigh. "What if I promise to make a big bowl of frosting tomorrow and let you lick it off me?"She had to bite back a smile as Jason shifted anxiously while he licked his lips and ran his eyes hungrily down her body. "Buttercream?" he croaked out."Mmmmhmm," she said, walking over to him. She cupped the back of his head andgently tugged him down for a quick kiss. "And if you're good I might lick some off you," she said, loving the idea."Get your own bowl of frosting. I don't share," he simply said, giving her one last kiss before walking out the door, whistling happily, no doubt thinking about the large bowl of frosting he was going to devour tomorrow.”

“Maybe you should just admit that you're crazy about me," he said, leaning in to kiss her again."And why would you want me to do that?" she asked, still smiling."Because I'm playing for keeps, my little grasshopper.”

“As he was gasping for air he realized something. He was in deep shit. Haley was his life now. His woman. His heart.He was so screwed.”

“He sighed heavily. "You pissed me off."Well, that was totally unexpected....sort of."Hey, I said I was sorry about hitting Mitch with that sword. How was I supposed to know the thing would leave a welt?" she said defensively."That's not what I'm talking about. That didn't bother me.""Is it because I kicked your ass at skee ball?""No! And that game is rigged anyway so it doesn't count.""Riigghhht," she said, drawing out the word. She thought over the rest of the night and couldn't figure out what she'd done. "Okay, you're gonna have to help me out here because I'm drawing a blank.""I'm pissed because all those men hit on you and not once did you tell any of them to f*ck off because you had a boyfriend!" he yelled.Her face went expressionless. She blinked once and then again. Then she burst into uncontrollable laughter.”

“She gave his hand a small squeeze. "Jason, if we're going to try this then I'd like totake things slow." He frowned. "What I mean is nothing beyond the level we were atlast night." She worried her lip between her teeth. "What I mean is no actual sex."He narrowed his eyes on her. "But, you'll still sleep with me naked and let me do ahundred other naughty things to you?" he asked in a serious tone."Yes."He brushed his lips against hers again and moved back a few inches to look into hereyes. "And you'll still cook for me and call me Master?"Her lips twitched. "Yes to the cooking and not a chance in hell for the other."He sighed wearily. "Fine, how about Lord and Master?""Uh...no.""God?""Nope.""My liege?""Wait.....no."He gave her one of his lopsided smiles. "I'll wear you down eventually.”

“He glared accusingly at her while he made short work of his clothes. "You didn't wake me up."She rolled her eyes as she speared a piece of sausage with her fork. "I did wake you up. Three times in fact. Each time you threw something at me and went back to sleep."Jason gaped at her. "And you gave up? You know our routine, woman. You have tokeep at it until I'm forced to get off the bed to find something to throw at you.”

“It wasn’t like he was purposely being an asshole. It just came naturally to him.”

“I don't know how Haley put up with you for the last few weeks. I would have killed you by now." "Haley worships me," he said with a snort. "Yeah, okay," Brad said, laughing. "That's why she dates other men and screws you over just to laugh at you." "Exactly." Brad looked over at him. "You are a seriously f*cked up man, aren't you?”

“Jason had to bury his face against her shoulder to keep from laughing out loud. She was just so damn cute. “Stop laughing at me! I’m a threat, damn it!” Jason pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “No, you’re my sweet little grasshopper.”

“Soon he was picturing little girls with mischievous green eyes and pigtails asking him to play tea. Of course he'd bring real food to the tea party. None of that pretend food bullshit for his little girls. By the time Haley had stopped for breakfast he'd been calmer about everything. He'd already decided to ignore that breakup nonsense. It was just ridiculous and he knew sooner or later Haley would realize that so they could get started on making their all girl baseball team.”

“I hate you," Haley mumbled, storming past him to grab a carriage. "You love and adore me," Jason informed her as he deftly snagged her carriage away from her and headed towards the men's department.”

“How dare you touch my cookies, you bastard!” Jason said in utter disgust before popping the cookie into his mouth and heading back to his house. “Damn those looked good, too,” Brad grumbled. Haley sighed. “Don’t worry I have a second plate on my counter.” The words were barely out of her mouth when Jason abruptly changed course and headed towards her house. “Well, there was,” she said, watching Jason walk into her house like he owned it. A minute later he walked out of her house, carrying both plates and the gallon of milk she had in her fridge. He headed back to his house, but not before he glared at Brad. “You cookie thieving bastard,” they heard him mutter. Brad rolled his eyes, chuckling. “And people wonder how I lost weight rooming with him in college.”