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Scott Dikkers

Scott Dikkers is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of “How to Write Funny.” He's also the founder of TheOnion.com and The AV Club.

Scott sends out a daily tip on Substack:

https://scottdikkers.substack.com/

Be sure to follow him on BookBub for insiders deals on his books!

https://www.bookbub.com/authors/scott...


“I respect your right to hold your religious beliefs, and if they help you, I think that's great. I would, however, like to inform you that you are a raving kook.”
Scott Dikkers
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“You have sexual tendencies that are not normal, and you should be ashamed of them.”
Scott Dikkers
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“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”
Scott Dikkers
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“Your pet is not your friend. It is your hostage.”
Scott Dikkers
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“Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.”
Scott Dikkers
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“Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.”
Scott Dikkers
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“A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.”
Scott Dikkers
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