Sherrilyn Kenyon

“You know him? (Papa Bear)I used to. But if you guys want to chop him up and make hamburgers out of him, I wouldn’t mind in the least. Hell, I’ll even go get the grinder. (Fury)”

“Then I’ll do some digging. (Fury)You just can’t help this kamikaze streak you have, can you? (Sasha)”

“You know what really kills me over this is that I’ve never seen two animals act more human. What kind of Romeo-Juliet bullshit are they playing anyway?Hell if I know. He says she’s the only one who understands him. Given the girly way he’s been acting lately, I actually agree with that ‘cause I definitely don’t get any of it. If he starts wearing lipstick and pink, I vote we take him out and shoot him. Put his whiny ass out of my misery.”

“I’m just doing a favor for my brother. (Fury)That’s what I told myself, too. But the problem with family, they get you into shit and then abandon you to it. Or worse, get themselves killed off. (Sasha)”

“It’s for Carson. (Margery)And I repeat what I said. Just what I need, a bunch of drunk fucks working on me. Remind me not to do anything stupid tonight. Oh wait, I’m here. Too late for that warning, huh? (Fury)”

“And you’re sure he’s not a regular lion?...Just checking. You guys could have had an aneurysm or something. (Fury)”

“Why do you need to see him? (Remi)Wolf business, and the last time I sniffed, which I’m trying real hard not to do ‘cause the stench of you assholes is rough on my heightened sense of smell, you’re a bear. Grab his hide and send it over. (Fury)”

“Whatever. But we’re watching you, Wolf. (Colt)Then I’ll try not to piss on the floor or hump the furniture…your leg, though, might be another matter. (Fury)”

“Shut up, sod off, and let me in. (Fury)”

“Since when does a dog care about what it humps? (Dev)I could go so low with that that even the gutter would envy us, but…I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to provoke a fight with me so that you can legally turn me away. I really, really want to give you that fight, too, but I have to see Sasha and it can’t wait. Sorry. We’ll have to hump and fight later. (Fury)”

“Fuck you. (Dev)Thank you so much for the offer, but while you do have a certain feminine quality in your demeanor and a remarkable head of hair that any woman would envy, you’re far too hairy for my tastes. No offense. (Fury)”

“I would never have written it without you. (Erin)And I would never have lived without you. (V'Aiden)”

“It is through true love that all miracles are performed. (V'Aiden)”

“My favorite part of dreams. Clothing is optional. (V'Aiden)”

“Oooh, hey, sex camp! Yeah. That’s the ticket. We need to start a sex camp where women can tell their hubbies they’re going to a fat farm and instead of the boot camp diet with Nazi dieticians, they go to the beach and have hot men treat them like goddesses! (Chrissy)”

“Actually, it’s my younger brother who has me ticked, but since you brought up the boyfriend thing, take my advice; Be the black widow. Find a guy, have fun with him, then eviscerate him in the morning before he can brag about it to his friends. (Chrissy)”

“Men are the scourge of the universe. I say we line them all up along the highway and then mow them down with big trucks. No, wait! Steamrollers! Yeah, let’s steamroll them all until they’re nothing more than slimy wet spots on the road! (Chrissy)”

“You’re a good man. (Rafael)I guess we’ll see in about five years, huh? If I die peacefully, then I’m good. If not, then we’ll face each other again as predators. (Apollite)”

“Why are you doing this? (Rafael)Because life’s too short to spend it fighting when you could be holding the one you love. And love’s too rare to squander it with petty concerns. I’m lucky I have Chloe and I have no intention of letting a war I didn’t start rob me of one second of my time with her. Go in peace, Dark-Hunter. (Apollite)”

“Someone stake that bastard, please, and for the sake of the gods, dust Benny off the table by the fountain. The powder’s disgusting and it’s getting into the blood. (Apollite)”

“I would kiss you anyway, but I have a feeling that if I tried– (Rafael) I’d kick you in the nuts and tear your ear off. (Celena)That would hurt. (Rafael)That’s the idea. (Celena)”

“Not anymore. To bring an outsider in could threaten the safety of Ephani. What if I were on a date and she needed me? (Celena)What if a meteorite fell through the house right now and flattened us both? (Rafel)”

“But it would be safer for you to patrol Starkville first and then head back this way. (Celena)And I was a pirate who laughed as he died and spat in the face of my killer. Safety’s not my concern. (Rafael)”

“The Daimons could, in theory, shoot you until you’re too weakened to fight them and then behead you. (Celena)Want to put a cone around my head like a dog to make sure they can’t decapitate me while we’re at it? (Rafael)”

“But I want to stay here. (Jeff)And people in hell want ice water and if you don’t go to the boat, you’ll probably be able to take it to them in person in about twenty minutes. (Rafael)”

“There can be no faith without doubt. No strength without temptation. (Rafael)”

“I’m here to take him into custody and deliver him to the Council. (Celena)Well, that sucks. Bank robbery, handing out the passwords for the Dark-Hunter Web site, carjacking, mugging, cats mixing with dogs, and now this…writing a short story. High crimes all. You get the rope and we’ll hang him for it. God forbid the whole twelve subscribers of that magazine should actually read a fictional story and think it real. (Rafael)”

“What do I do? (Jeff)Well, not to insult a man who looks like a rocket scientist in comparison to you, but…run, Forrest, run. (Rafael)”

“Her Squire, Celena, Ms. Blood Rite, I-kill-anything-that-breaks-formation, is on her way over here to have a word with you. Since Celena isn’t real big on conversation, I’m taking that as a euphemism for ‘kick your ass.’ (Rafael)”

“No matter how you disguise this trite bullshit, it’s my life, Jeff. Penned in an awkward manner. It’s things I didn’t want to see in black-and-white print. You’re lucky after three hundred years that I’ve mellowed. In my human days, I’d have slit your throat, pulled your tongue through the opening, and left you tied to a tree for the wolves to eat. (Rafael)”

“And you chose to fight for Artemis instead, what kind of stupid are you? (Jeff)”

“Keeping pushing, Andrei, and you and I are going to play a game. (Esperetta)And what game is that, Princess? (Andrei)Find the Ball in My Hand. (Esperetta)I don’t see a ball, Princess. (Andrei)Oh, you will, just as soon as I snap it off your body. (Esperetta)”

“You are just so helpful, Andrei. (Esperetta)I try to be, Princess. (Andrei)And you fail with such panache. (Esperetta)”

“Let me guess, Velkan wants to see me? (Esperetta)No. The only thing His Highness would like to see in regards to you, Princess, is your disembowelment. (Raluca)”

“Would you like tickets for tonight’s tour? (Andrei)Like another hole in my head. (Esperetta)That’s American slang for ‘no thank you. (Francesca)Strange. When I was in New York it was slang for ‘no fucking way.' (Andrei)”

“A pox on both his testicles! (Esperetta)”

“After all these years of listening to you rant about Prince Dickhead, I want to meet him for myself. (Francesca)Fine, but remember to avert your gaze from his. He'll suck the goodness right out of the marrow of your bones and leave you as morally bankrupt as he is. (Esperetta)”

“Why did you marry him then? (Francesca)I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. I thought he was a noble prince. I had no idea he was barely one step up from a monkey. I take that back and I deeply apologize to all the primates of the earth for insulting them. He’s not worthy of monkeydom. He’s a slimy slug trail. (Esperetta)”

“Just out of curiosity, can an immortal choke to death on a bagel? (Francesca)”

“She doesn’t want me to own her. (Dante)Well, the Simi doesn’t understand that. Owning’s not so bad. I own akri and he kind of fun. (Simi)”

“I did the right thing, right? (Dante)No. The panther woman didn’t want you to leave her and now you made her go away. That was just stupid if you ask the Simi. Not that anyone ever does, ‘cause if they did, then they would be smart. Some people are smart. But many, like you, are too stupid to ask me what I think. See? (Simi)”

“What about the pact they made with our pack? (Pandora)It’s dissolved. If they pull any more of your kin out of their time period, I’m going to send them a special welcoming committee. (Dante)”

“Relax, the bad guys don’t knock. (Romeo)”

“I take offense to that. (Pandora)And I take offense to my sudden need for a testicle retrieval. You know, I would have liked to have fathered children one day. (Mike)”

“You know, I’ve never understood it. They make a deal with the devil herself and then expect me to bail them out of every minor scrape. Then when I show up to help them, they cop an attitude and tell me to blow. So if I’m selfish for wanting four days a year to be left alone, then I’m just a selfish bastard. Sue me. (Acheron)”

“If they can’t survive alone for four days once a year, they deserve to die. (Acheron)That’s harsh, for you. (Dante)Harsh? Tell you what, you take my phone and skim through the three thousand phone calls I get every day and night and see how harsh I am. I truly hate modern technology and phones in particular. I haven’t had a full four hours of sleep in over fifty years. ‘Ash, I broke a toenail, help me. Ash, my head hurts, what should I do?’ (Acheron)”

“It’s broke again, akri. The man downstairs done said that the Simi can’t charge nothing else until I’m not over my limit no more. I don’t know what that means, but I don’t like it. Fix it, akri, or else I might eat him. The Simi gots needs and I needs my plastic to work. (Simi)”

“she said with a smile. "I'm an acquired taste. Most of my best friends had toknow me for years before they could even stand my presence. I'm like mold, I usually grow on you veryslowly.”

“And in your time period, there are plenty of tasers and electrical devices that can completely incapacitate me. No offense, but I don’t relish being someone’s science experiment. Been there, done that, and sold the T-shirt for profit. (Sebastian)”

“You look like hell. (Sebastian)Yeah, well, it’s hard to look good when you’re being tortured. (Damos)”