Sherrilyn Kenyon

“Why would you do that? (Delphine)Why do you think? (Jericho)Because I’m a bossy hag and you’d rather be enslaved to a man you hate than deal with me. (Delphine)You know…you’re not funny. (Jericho)I think I’m hysterical. (Delphine)”

“If you really love her, Cratus, let her know it every day. And always put her before you and your wants just as you’ve done here today. Take it from someone who knows. Love lost is the hardest burden to shoulder, and it’s one you can never get under. (Artemis)”

“It’s a new world, brother. And we, the downtrodden, are taking it back. (Madoc)”

“Technical advisor. Since you know our enemies so well, we’re going to pick your brain. (Jericho)I’ll tell you what you want to know. There's no need to torture me for it. (Asmodeus)Pick your brain is an idiomatic expression, Asmodeus. It means we’ll have you tell us things. We’re not actually going in there to mess with your head. (Delphine)Oh, thank the Source. I can’t stand it when someone opens my skull. It really hurts. (Asmodeus)”

“As the great poet wrote, ‘To thine own self be true.’…What? You don’t think a Skotos can be literate? I happen to love Shakespeare. Hamlet is one of my faves. (Zeth)I’m not touching that one with tongs and a gas mask. (Jericho)”

“Believe me, I know and I almost made the same mistake you did. Evil is seductive. It’s what makes the two of them so dangerous. (Jericho)No. It’s our willingness to believe their lies and to see what we want to see that makes it so dangerous. Even when we know better, we lie to ourselves and that’s where the true betrayal is. (Jared)”

“I can’t believe I was ever stupid enough to trust Noir. Come to the dark side. We have cookies. (Zeth)”

“And if we fail? (Delphine)It’ll suck to be human. (Madoc)”

“Get us into Azmodea. (Jericho)Why in the name of smelly feet would you want to go there again?! (Asmodeus)”

“You rang, Mino- well, you’re not really the Minor Master anymore, are you? What should I call you? (Asmodeus)Think of a polite term, demon. (Jericho)Mister Master it is. What can I do for you? (Asmodeus)”

“Let’s at least hope it’s not a gallu.Why? They’re not all bad, in a smelly, need-to-be-killed kind of way.”

“So if the punks come here, they’re going to dance with the devil and get the short end of the horn. (Zarek)No one better than my Zarek to rip someone’s head off. You two should get along famously. (Astrid)”

“Then Olympus it is. But do try to behave. I know it’s hard for you, but… (Delphine)I won’t piss on the floor. (Jericho)It’s not the floor I’m worried about. It’s their cornflakes. (Delphine)”

“There’s too much to be done. I need to know– (Jericho)No. (Delphine)No, you d’in. (Jericho)Yes, I di’id. Don’t make me use my Jeri ninja mind tricks on you. I might screw up and fry your brains. (Delphine)”

“What? Was that a laugh? (Delphine)No. (Jericho)Yes, it was. I heard it. Holy cow, call Hermes to spread the news. I think I just started the end of the world…it has to be a sign of the apocalypse. (Delphine)”

“I want to hate you, but I can’t even stay mad at you. (Jericho)You know, I think you’re more in need of lessons on how to seduce than I am. Why don’t you call me fat and ugly while you’re at it? (Delphine)”

“Why would you help us? (Delphine)I hear stupidity is a fatal disease. Doing my own experimentation to see if that’s true or not. If I survive, we’ll know it’s not. If I die…well, it’ll suck. Bad. And I won’t be happy. (Asmodeus)”

“I don’t feel brave, especially not right now. (Delphine)That’s what bravery is, especially for a woman not used to having emotions. When you feel deep, paralyzing fear and you don’t let it stop you, that is true courage. There’s never been bravery without fear. Just as there’s no love without hate. (M'Adoc)”

“You’d better. Otherwise Stryker and I will feast on your innards, bathe in your blood and I will use your eyes as earrings. (Zephyra)You know, with imagery like that, you should write for Hallmark. (Jericho)”

“Don’t fail me. (Stryker)You don’t fail me. (Jericho)So do we let you two lock horns and butt each other off the mountaintop now? (Tory)”

“Relax, Medea. We’ve come to see your mother. (Tory)Your funeral. (Medea)It’s always so good to see you, too. You’re just such a ray of happy sunshine. I so look forward to all our interactions. (Tory)”

“What are you doing here snooping around, Tory? (Medea)I didn’t think I was snooping. It didn’t feel like a snoop. I have snooped before and can honestly say this isn’t it. (Tory)”

“Why would you train an instrument of destruction? (Jericho)We all choose our destinies. Our birth doesn’t dictate our future unless we allow it. (Acheron)”

“You can’t. He has it shielded. Besides, he’s a god and can be a nasty one if you upset him. You try popping into any place where his beloved wife is and you’ll get fried faster than chicken at KFC. He doesn’t have a sense of humor when it comes to her. So wipe the frown off your face before you hurt her feelings and get gutted for it. (Phobos)”

“Any idea how to get my brother out of there? (Phobos)Dynamite. With any luck it might blow the bastard up, too. (Jericho)”

“Say thank you to her, Dolophonos. She just kept you from getting your ass handed to you. (Jericho)Stop it! One more round of Grand Testosterone and I swear I’ll geld you both where you stand. (Delphine)”

“I have no reason to lie. But if you want to hang out here and get eaten, far be it from me to stop you. As is, my ass is fertilizer if they catch me talking to you. (Jaden)”

“They’re plotting against you. (Jaden)Who? (Jericho)Your best friends, fool, who do you think? The Easter Bunny or the assholes who brought you here? FYI, they’re planning to feed you to the gallu so that they can control your powers without your fighting them. If I were you, I’d be gone five minutes ago. (Jaden)”

“I just wanted Kerry to notice me. (Geek Human)For the record, kid, summoning a demon to kidnap her, not the best way to meet a woman. It usually backfires on you. (Jericho)”

“The man doesn’t want me messing with it and, no offense, I wouldn’t anger him. I’ve seen what he can do and it’s the stuff horror movies are made of. Body part flailing, blood. Lots of blood and torture. (Berith)”

“You mean Teletubbies? (Berith)The fact that you know what they’re called, Berith, truly scares me. (Jericho)As a demon of torture, it behooves me to know all things that are deeply annoying. You’d be amazed how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as Teletubbies. (Berith)Not really. I’d rather battle a brain-eating zombie any day than hear them sing. (Jericho)”

“You were impaled? (Delphine)You know the worst part about impalement? You don’t die immediately. You hang on bleeding and aching as the spike works its way slowly through your body until it pierces some major organ. Pray to the gods you worship that you never know what that feels like. (Jericho)”

“First of all, you don’t want me to get too hungry. Ever. I’m an ever worse bastard than normal and having starved for centuries, I’m not about to deprive myself again when I don’t have to. Second, let me tell you something about your ‘friends.’ Deimos held me down while I was branded and then took me to the human realm where I was left with nothing. No clothes, no money. Not a damn thing to call my own. Hence the aforementioned starvation. A hundred years later, M’Ordant dumped my inside a Spartan prison camp and told the commander I was a traitor to their people. You don’t really want to know what the Spartans did to people they thought betrayed them. D’Alerian had me put inside a Turkish prison in the fifteenth century where I was impaled after being tortured for three weeks. So you’ll have to excuse me if I have a hard time feeling too sorry for them right now. At least no one’s shoving a sharp spike up their asses. (Jericho)”

“What are we doing here? (Delphine)Going to eat. What? You got Alzheimer’s? (Jericho)No, but I don’t see a restaurant around here. (Delphine)If I put us inside the restaurant, people might scream and freak. Not to mention, it has a Web cam there that makes it even harder to just poof inside. Damn modern people and their wizard’s tools. (Jericho)”

“So would you like to join me for something to eat? (Jericho)As long as it doesn’t involve the entrails of demons, I might be persuaded. (Delphine)Demon entrails have no appeal for me, either. Zeus’s are another matter. (Jericho)”

“Asmodeus! You don’t see her, do you hear me? (Jericho)Completely blind, Minor Master. Hearing is intact. Is there anyone here besides the two of us? No? Good. I’m leaving now unless Minor Master has another preferably nonpainful task for me. (Asmodeus)You're dismissed. (Jericho)Cool beaners. (Asmodeus)”

“Oh, hello, me lovely, we haven’t met. Asmodeus, demon extraordinaire, at your service. Any service you may require, especially those that involve nudity and adjoining body parts joining other people’s body parts. (Asmodeus)”

“We have certain demons who are motivated by the smell of food. They tend to get rather violent whenever they smell it. I personally wouldn’t be caught eating anything because I would end up dead. You might not. But you’d still have to fight them, and since some of them are rather ugly and really, really smelly, it might spoil your appetite. Then again, maybe not. Doesn’t spoil Noir’s. I think it makes him hungrier, especially when he guts them. Sick, but true. (Asmodeus)”

“I told you not to piss off Noir. One day you’re going to listen to me. (Asmodeus)Why start now? (Jaden)Ah, you’re right. Bled so much now, it doesn’t really matter, does it? (Asmodeus)”

“What are you doing here? (Jericho)Do my accommodations offend you? I’ve grown quite used to them. Though a view of something other than mangled bodies might be nice for a change. (Jaden)”

“Where are we? (Jericho)Noir’s happy place. It’s where he brings the beings he wants to play with. (Asmodeus)Punish. (Jericho)You say ta-mah-to. I say to-mah-to. (Asmodeus)”

“I think they’re having trouble adjusting to the emotions they have outside of their dreams. At any rate, they keep acting like demented teenagers from a porno version of a John Hughes film. (Asmodeus)”

“Are you always this random? (Jericho)Mostly. It really irritates Noir. Which is just an added bonus for me. At least so long as I can outrun him. (Asmodeus)Add me to that list of people you annoy. (Jericho)Oh. You’re not going to singe my testicles over it, are you?! (Asmodeus)No plans to. (Jericho)Good. We can be friends, then. (Asmodeus)”

“Here we are. Maybe I should warn you before we enter...(Asmodeus)(Jericho stepped past him and threw open the door.) Or maybe not. Let’s just barge in and be surprised, shall we? (Asmodeus)”

“How long have you been here? (Jericho)Don’t know. Again, tried to count once, got depressed so I stopped. I find it easier to just go with the flow. Ease with the peas. (Asmodeus)Ease with the peas? (Jericho)Yeah, that’s not a happy memory, either. Let’s forget I mentioned it. (Asmodeus)”

“How many demons and people are enslaved here? (Jericho)Define slavery. (Asmodeus)Kept against their will. (Jericho)Good definition. Counting me? (Asmodeus)Why not? (Jericho)Probably a couple of million…you know it’s really hard to count to a million, plus they’re always dying and new ones are coming in. I tried to count once, but it got really depressing so I stopped. The constant adding and subtracting. Not my forte, really. (Asmodeus)”

“I want you to show him to Zeth and the rest of the Olympian dogs who fight for us. (Noir)Anything else, Master? Lick your boots? Wipe your ass? (Asmodeus)”

“I pity those born of the lighter side. They have no understanding of how seductive cruelty is. The music made out of screams and pleas for mercy. Mmmm. Nothing better. (Noir)”

“I so love the smell of hatred and revenge. It’s the headiest of concoctions. (Noir)I personally feel that way toward blood. No better smell in the universe than when it’s combined with the aroma of those fearing death. (Jericho)”

“You would kill or enslave everyone? There is so much beauty in the world that they’d destroy. How do you not see it? (Delphine)Spoken like someone who has only lived in the cushioned world of dreams. You have no idea what the real world is like. What people will do to you when they know they can get away with it. People are absolutely cruel and I say more power to Noir for tearing it down. (Jericho)”