Sherrilyn Kenyon

“And neither do I, asshole. (Wren)Wow. Multiple syllables and a whole sentence from the tiger. Who’d have ever thought it? Whoever she was, she must have had a lot of talent to make you speak. Next thing you know, she’ll have the dead walking. Quick, call a Dark-Hunter. I’m sure some of them would like another resurrection. (Dev)”

“I’ve never met anyone who had a monkey for a friend before. (Maggie)I don’t know. I think those two guys you were with would qualify as primates, but then, that’s an insult to the primate and I don’t want Marvin to get pissed at me. He has higher sensibilities, you know? (Wren)”

“What the hell? We’re all screwed up some way. At least you bathe and I don’t have to fight you for chicks. In my book, that makes you all right.”

“Bring mine unopened, with a napkin and an opener. (Blaine)What? Afraid I’m going to spit in it, big boy? (Aimee)”

“Does your manager know that you talk to your customers like this? (Blaine)If you’d like to talk to my mother, who owns this bar, my overindulgent brother, who manages it, or my father, who delights in kicking everyone’s ass around, about your treatment by me, just let me know and I’ll be more than happy to go get one of them for you. I know they’d just love to waste their time dealing with you. They’re real understanding that way. (Aimee)”

“It’s a Belgian beer, sweetie. Please tell me you’ve at least heard of it. (Blaine)Boy, I was born in Brussels and the last time I checked, this was my new homeland, America, not my birthplace. So you can either order an American-made beer or I’ll bring you water and you can sit there and act all superior until you puke, okay? (Aimee)”

“Fine, then, stay here and keep our seats warm while your ass expands to the size of your ego. (Todd)”

“Yeah, right. Life is a soul-sucking test that you either survive or you fail. Personally, I think failure blows, so I intend to survive and laugh my ass off at all the losers. (Nick)”

“You don’t know about Travis Fimmel? Oh, sister, you are deprived. He the finest man alive. (Simi) You lust for men? (Xirena) Well, I certainly don’t lust for women. (Simi) No, I mean you lust for humans? (Xirena) Well, don’t you? (Simi) Ew! What have you don’t to her? You have corrupted a good demon! (Xirena)”

“I hope you find peace, my brother. (Acheron) Peace walks hand in hand with a quite conscience. (Savitar)”

“So what’s on the agenda for tonight? (Danger) Migraine, futility, possible death. Same as every night, I guess. (Alexion)”

“You’ve got on a white coat. (Ephani) Awesome cognitive powers you have there. (Alexion)”

“You don’t trust any man, Ephani. (Danger)And neither should you, little sister. Take a bit of Amazon advice. Ride him into the ground all night long, then slide a blade between his ribs come morning. (Ephani) That's harsh. (Alexion)So is life. (Ephani)”

“It must stink to know everyone’s future but your own. (Danger) You’ve no idea. It’s actually cruel in my opinion. But then maybe it doesn’t matter after all since futures can and do change. Something as simple as you’re supposed to turn right down a street one day…and in your bones you know it, and yet for reasons no one understands, you decide to debunk fate and go left. Now instead of meeting the spouse of your dreams and having a house full of kids, you get flattened by an ice-cream truck and spend the next five years in physical therapy. And all because you exercised free will and turned the opposite way on a whim. (Alexion)”

“Because people learn from their mistakes, Danger. Pain and failure are a natural part of life. It's kind of like a parent who watches their child fall down while learning to walk. Instead of coddling the child, you set them back on their feet and let them try again. They have to stumble before they can run. (Alexion)Do you really believe that we need to have our hearts ripped out? (Danger)A flower can't grow without rain. (Alexion)Too much rain and it drowns. (Danger)And yet the most beautiful of the lotus flowers are the ones that grow in the deepest mud. (Alexion)”

“You know, those parlor tricks would be much more impressive if they actually helped me. (Danger) I wanted to see what you had in you. (Alexion) Piss and vinegar. Next time you don’t help me, I’ll unleash it fully against you. (Danger)”

“Oh, goodie. And here I am without my favorite stake and why is that? Because the ugly winged demon from hell – literally –came after us. Now we got these guys to fight. Well, at least they’re not scaly. (Danger) And they are blond. You like blonds. (Alexion) True, but after looking at them, I think my tastes just changed. I think I’d rather do the demon that one of them. (Danger)”

“A flower can't grow without rain. (Alexion)Too much rain and it drowns. (Danger)And yet the most beautiful of the lotus flowers are the ones that grow in the deepest mud. (Alexion)”

“I assure you he died screaming like a girl. (Daimon) Oh, I am so offended by that. What is the deal with that sexist statement? I’m a female and I don’t scream. But I’ve killed many a male Daimon who did. (Danger) ”

“Tell me about it. Despite all the changes in the twenty-first century, it seems that the rich are still rich and the poor are still poor. There are still countless people in the world who starve every day, and it’s not because they’re anorexic or fasting. It’s because they can’t afford food while the rich waste money all the time on trivial things. Every time I hear about famine, I ask myself if we’ve learned nothing from the past- from the revolutions, all the wars. All they did was ruin thousands of lives. (Danger) Chronia apostraph, anthrice mi achi. (Alexion) What is that? (Danger) It’s Atlantean. Something Acheron says a lot. Roughly translated, it means ‘time moves on, people do not.’ (Alexion)”

“As Nietzsche said, ‘that which doesn’t kill you– ’(Alexion) Will only require brief hospitalization. And if you’re a Dark-Hunter, just a good day’s sleep. (Danger) ”

“Look, I don’t want to stand here and watch you commune with ‘other.’ It’s been a long night, my brain is fried and my emotions shot. You can stay here and do your hocus-pocus cat prowl, looking for your invisible friends all you want. I’m going to head off to my media room and veg. (Danger) If you need me, call. (Alexion) Yeah, I’ll just do that when I need the great big, hulking he-man to charge in and save my weak, girly butt. (Danger)”

“What do you mean you live someplace where there aren’t any humans? (Danger) In a realm far away from here. (Alexion) Is that like in star Wars? A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away? Want to tell me where your Tatooine is located? Is it anywhere in this universe? Near Toledo maybe? The one in Ohio or Spain? I’m not picky. Can I MapQuest it? (Danger)”

“They attacked you? (Danger) No, I beat my own self up. What do you think? (Keller)”

“What are you? (Danger) Well, had you listened before you stabbed me, you would have heard the ‘I’m Acheron’s Squire’ part. Apparently that somehow escaped your hearing and you mistook me for a pin cushion. (Alexion) ”

“C'mon, Tabitha. You stabbed me the night we met without even blinking. (Valerius) Yeah, but you were a dirtbag then. (Tabitha) I think I'm offended. (Valerius)”

“What are you doing here? (Artemis) I wanted to thank you for what you did tonight, but as I considered that, it dawned on me that you have never once in eleven thousand years done anything for me for free. The sheer fear factor of that realization alone has made me come seeking you. So what gives? (Acheron)”

“I can't. At least not for a while. I need time to get past this and I can't guarantee that I won't hurt him again. God knows, Nick has a true gift for saying the wrong thing in any given situation. (Acheron) You know he loves you, right? (Amanda) Yeah, but emotions don't have brains. (Acheron)”

“I wish I had left him as he was. I wish you had told me this would happen. (Amanda) Told you what, Amanda? That the two of you would spend the rest of your lives loving each other? Raising your kis? Neither one of you have any idea how miraculous your life is. How many people would gladly sell their souls for what you have. Forget Artemis and immortality. What you have is infinitely more previous and rare. (Acheron)”

“Life is serious. (Valerius) No, life is an adventure. It's thrilling and scary. Sometimes it's even a bit boring, but it should never be serious. (Tabitha)”

“Yeah, well, I guess I feel like all of us misfits need to hang together. At least that way we don't swing along. (Tabitha)”

“Anyone ever tell you you should be a lawyer? (Otto) Only Bill when we argue. Besides, I like killing bloodsuckers too much to ever be one of them. Tabitha Deveraux. Pleased to meet you. (Tabitha)”

“I'm not human, Ms. Deveraux. In case you haven't noticed, I'm one of the damned. (Valerius) Baby, open your eyes and look around. We're all damned in one way or another. But damned is a far cry from dead. And you live like you're dead. (Tabitha) I'm that, too. (Valerius)”

“I'm sorry. (Valerius) It's okay. We all have scars. I'm just lucky most of mine are on the outside. (Tabitha)”

“So you're the infamous Acheron. (Amanda) Lord and Master of the great barbarian horde that roams the night. (Acheron)”

“I thought only a wooden stake through the heart killed a vampire. (Amanda) A wooden stake through the heart will kill just about anything. And if it doesn't, run like hell. (Kyrian)”

“Can you just saw his arm off while we're here and get me loose? (Amanda) I could do that, but he needs his more. I'd cut yours off before I did his. (Tate) Oh, great, what are you, his Igor? (Amanda) Wrong movie, Igor was Frankenstein's flunky. Renfield is the one you're thinking of, and no, I'm not Renfield. Name's Tate Bennett. Parish coroner. (Tate)”

“Should I ask about the handcuffs? (Tate) Not unless you want to live...otherwise if anyone asks, tell them I died of a heart attack during a wild sexcapade with her. (Kyrian)”

“So, you're like Angel? (Amanda) You watch way too much television. Angel has a soul. I don't. (Kyrian) Now you're back to being scary again. (Amanda) Baby, you ain't seen scary yet. (Kyrian)”

“What is a Dark-Hunter? Is it like the Vampire Slayer? (Amanda) Yes, I'm a small, emaciated teenage girl who struts around fighting vampires in earrings they would rip out of my ears and shove up my ass. (Kyrian)”

“God forbid I should bleed to death, eh? Then you'd have to cart around my rotting corpse. (Kyrian) Could you be any more morbid? Jeez, who was your idol growing up? Boris Karloff? (Amanda) Hannibal, actually. (Kyrian) You're trying to scare me, aren't you? Well, it won't work. I grew up in a house with an angry poltergeist and two sisters who used to conjure demons just to fight them. Buster, I've seen it all and your gallows humor isn't working on me. (Amanda)”

“As for the age of electronics, Selena, I really don't want to get personal with something that comes with a warning label and batteries. (Grace)”

“I think infatuation is like a garden. If tended and cared for, it grows into love. If neglected or abused it dies. The only way to have eternal love is to never let your heart forget what it's like to live without it.-Vane”

“Hmmm. See, in this world, Xirena, the Simi does what she wants and akri, he say, ‘Okay, Simi, whatever you want, Simi.’ Unless it involves eating people; then he usually says no, but that’s the only time. Other than that, he do what the Simi says. See how that works? (Simi)”

“If wishes were horses, even beggars would ride. (Dark-Hunter)”

“Naked human sex, ew! (Xirena)”

“My people never dreamed of a world like this. Of having so much without backbreaking, debilitating work. And yet for all the physical improvements, people are still people. They’re killing each other to get more to prove a point only the killer understands. Still brutalizing and torturing each other over things that in another hundred years won’t even matter.”

“Lucille certainly picked a fine time to leave us, didn’t he? I just wish our only problem was four hungry children and a crop in the field. (Danger)You know, your sarcasm isn’t helping anymore than your bizarre and scattered references to literature and bad country songs. (Alexion)Not true, it’s helping me maintain a calm facade that I most definitely do not feel. (Danger)Well, it’s starting to piss me off. (Alexion)Ooo, you almost scare me when you say that.”

“So, Magellan, where are we going? (Danger)Away. I’m open to any location, so long as it doesn’t involve returning to your house while Wart-Head is there.”

“Get off me, you lard-ass, halitosis, flea-infested horror-movie reject! (Alexion)”