Simone Elkeles

“...personal torture instructor...I mean physical therapist.”

“I give her the only honest and true answer I have."You're where I want to be.”

“NO PDA,school rules. And besides she's my partner dickhead." said Alex.”

“I never stopped loving you. Even when I tried desperately to forget you, I couldn't.”

“He may be out of my life physically, but he'll always be a part of me. I can't let go even if I wanted to.”

“Somehow, being with Brittany brings something to my life that's missing, something ... right.”

“If there's one thing I learned, it's that nobody is here forever. You have to live for the moment, each and every day . . . the here, the now.”

“This connection we have isn't going away, it's only getting stronger. Because the more I spend time with her, the closer I want to be.”

“Look at me, chica." When she does, I repeat, "Eres hermosa.""What does it mean?""You're beautiful.”

“Normal? I'm not normal enough for you?" Carlos says. "You want this guy instead? Did you notice his hair doesn't move? That's not normal. You want to date him again, go ahead. Hell, if you want to marry him and be Kiara Barra the rest of your life, be my guest.""That's not want I--""I don't want to hear it. Hasta," Carlos says, ignoring me and walking away.I feel my face heat in embarrassment as I look at Michael. "Sorry. Carlos can he abrasive sometimes.""Don't apologize. The guy obviously has major issues and, for the record, my hair moves... when I want it to.”

“And while my mind is telling me I'm flirting with her just to prove a point, my body wants to play "you show me your perky privates and I'll show you mine.”

“You know about fixing cars, you're athletic, and you know when to shut up.""That last one isn't a skill.""Honey, trust me. It's a skill.”

“Didn't you learn anything from my mistakes?" he asks.Shit, when Alex was in the Latino Blood back in Chicago I worshiped him. "You don't want to hear my answer to that.”

“I want to live life on my own terms. But I'm Mexican, so mi familia is always there to guide me in everything I do, whether I want them to or not. Well, "guide" is too weak a word. "Dictate" is more like it.”

“I wasn't going to kiss you."''You weren't?' I look up look up at him.[...]'Nope, the next time I kiss you it'll last a long, long time. And when we're done you're going to realize being turned on is not about experience.”

“You can't appreciate a great day unless you've experienced bad ones." - Rabbi Glassman”

“I've had more students die than I ever thought possible. My husband urgesme to quit Fairfield and teach at some school without gang members who live their lives only to die or end upas drug dealers.”

“Don't they give you happy pills in thisplace?”

“We're in the Chicago suburbs, ruling our 'hood and the streets that lead here. It's a street war, where othersuburban gangs fight us for territory. Three blocks away are mansions and million-dollar houses. Right here,in the real world, the street war rages on. The people in the million-dollar houses don't even realize a battle isabout to begin less than a half mile from their backyards.”

“I start to walk out of the room, but I hear him start to panic and his breathing gets labored. He reaches out to me. “Don’t go. Please.”I sit next to him on the bed, wondering if he’s afraid of being abandoned. He slings his arm around my thigh and rests his forehead against my knee. “I have to protect you,” he says softly.“From who?”“El Diablo.”“El Diablo? Who’s that?” I ask.“It’s complicated.”What does that mean? “Try to rest,” I tell him.“I can’t. My entire body hurts.”“I know.” I gently rub the arm that’s slung around me until his breathing slows. “I wish I could help you,” I whisper.“You are,” he murmurs against my knee. “Just don’t leave me, okay? Everyone leaves me.”

“Tell me somethin’ you do that would shock me.”She sits back on the couch. “Shock you?”“Yeah. Shock me to the core.”She sits up on her knees and leans toward me. “I’ve thought about you, Carlos,” she whispers in my ear. “At night, in bed. I think about kissing you, our tongues sliding against each other’s, while your hands are buried in my hair. When I think about feeling those ripples inyour naked chest I touch my—”“Here’s more popcorn!” Westford says, barging into the room with two big bowls filled to therim with freshly popped popcorn. “Kiara, what are you doing?”

“What’s goin’ on?” I ask as I take a seat.“Obviously not this.” He tosses me my shirt from last night. “I found it on the floor of the den. It’s obvious there was some hanky-panky going on.”Okay, so he knows we fooled around. But at least he didn’t find Kiara’s bra on top of my shirt.“Yeah . . . things kinda got a little heated after you and Mrs. W. left the den last night,” I tell him.”

“When Alex leaves a little later, Carlos steps forward. “Need help?”I shake my head.“Are you ever gonna talk to me again? Dammit, Kiara, enough with the silent treatment. I’d rather have you say your little two-word sentences than stop talkin’ altogether. Hell, just flipme off again.”I toss my backpack in the backseat and start the engine.“Where are you goin’?” Carlos asks, stepping in front of my car.I beep.“I’m not movin’,” he says.My response is another beep. It’s not an intimidating, deep beep like most cars, but it’s the best my car can give.He places both hands on the hood.“Move,” I say.He moves all right. With pantherlike quickness, Carlos jumps through the open passenger window, feet first. “You should get the door fixed,” he says.”

“Want to make out?”“With who?” she asks, not bothering to look up.“Me.”She lifts her head from her book just long enough to give me a once-over. “No, thanks,” she says, then goes back to her homework.She’s fuckin’ with me. She’s got to be fuckin’ with me, right? “Because of that pendejo Tuck?”“No. Because I don’t want Madison’s leftovers.”Wait. Un. Momento. I’ve been called a lot of things before, but . . . “You callin’ me leftovers?”“Yeah. Besides, Tuck is a great kisser. I wouldn’t want you to feel bad when there’s no way you can compete.”That guy hardly owns a pair of lips. “Wanna bet?”

“We’ve been secretly datin’ since last week.” He gives me a smile and a look that says I’m his one-and-only. That smile might deceive Madison, but I know he’s full of it. “Isn’t that right, K.?”He squeezes me tighter. “Uh-huh,” I squeak out.Madison shakes her head fast, as if she can’t believe what she’s hearing. “Nobody in their right mind chooses Kiara Westford over me.”She’s right. We’re busted.“Wanna bet?” My eyes go wide when Carlos bends his head down to me. “Kiss me, cariño.”

“And what do you want right now?" Right now I itch to heal his wounds and forget my own.He touches my cheek with the tips of his fingers.My breath hitches. "Do you want to kiss me, Alex?" I whisper."Dios mio, I want to kiss you ... to taste your lips, your tongue." He gently traces my lips withthe tips of his fingers. "Do you want me to kiss you? Nobody else would know but the two of us.”

“Como un angel," I whisper."Is our game over?" she asks nervously."It's definitely over, querida. 'Cause what we're gonna do next is no game.”

“I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck."Whoa, girl," he says taken aback. "I thought we were keepin' this thing between us a secret. I hate to tell you, but a bunch of north siders from Fairfield are right over there. And they're starin' at us""I don't care. Not anymore""Why""You only live once”

“Expectations make people miserable, so whatever yours are, lower them. You'll definitely be happier.”

“It's pure instinct that makes me rebel every time someone tries to control my life and hand out more rules.”

“Thing is, I don't like ties. I like to win....by big margins.”

“You’re dangerous,” he says.“Why?”“Because you make me believe in the impossible”

“This is a team of gay dudes, isn't it?"What gave it away? The pink shirts, or half our team drooling over you?”

“Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west."The sun rises in the east, dickhead."Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west.”

“Consider me your candy stripper... I mean striper.”

“Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!”

“If I had any choice in the matter, I'd stay in my comfy bed and eat warm chocolate chip cookies all day.”

“If you can't share with your friends, who can you share with?”

“Senior year is supposed to be a blast-easy and fun. So far it's been anything but.”

“I feel so selfish, because I want the best of both worlds. I want to keep the image I've worked so hard to create.”

“I've spent so much time avoiding arguments and smoothing relationships with the people around me, this confrontation is painful.”

“Should I tell him I'm not afraid of being hurt? I'm afraid of not being in control.”

“I don't want to point out her flaws, but if I see her going on a self-destructive path, isn't it up to me as her friend to stop her?”

“I hate games I can't win.”

“What's the use in having a reputation if you can't ruin it every now and then?”

“It's the music that pulls me in and makes me forget about my problems at home. Music is my drug, the one thing that makes me numb.”

“I don't want to end up like my mom. That's my biggest fear in life.”

“Sometimes you have to steer away from the crowd in order to be a better person. It's not always easy, that's for sure. But it's right. And sometimes doing the right thing feels good, even if it does end up in a trip to the principal's office.”

“and the bananas are overdone.”

“Okay, seriously, I dont know if this is true or not, but I heard people who use profanity are trying to compensate for their lack of you know... size" -Tuck”