Snodgrass

“Is it, then, your opinionWomen are putty in your hands?Is this the face to launch uponA thousand one night stands?First, please, would you be so kindAs to define your contributionTo modern verse, the Western mindAnd human institutions?Where, where is the long, flowing hair,The velvet suit, the broad bow tie;Where is the other-worldly air,Where the abstracted eye?Describe the influence on your verseOf Oscar Mudwarp’s mighty line,The theories of Susan SchmerschOr the spondee’s decline.You’ve labored to present us withThis mouse-sized volume; shall this equalThe epic glories of Joe Smith?He’s just brought out a sequel.Where are the beard, the bongo drums,Tattered T-shirt and grubby sandals,As who, released from Iowa, comesTo tell of wondrous scandals?Have you subversive, out of date,Or controversial ideas?And can you really pull your weightAmong such minds as these?Ah, what avails the tenure race,Ah, what the Ph.D.,When all departments have a placeFor nincompoops like thee?”