Stephanie Perkins

“What do you say to someone who is not the same and yet completely the same?”

“Something deep inside me lurched. The stirring was as startling and unpleasant as it was thrilling and revolutionary.”

“What just happened?""Your father invited the former love of your life in for pie.""Yeah, that's what I thought.”

“Imagine," she said, after registering, "a whole city of gorgeous Italian guys. They can say anything to me, and it'll be sexy." "You'll be so easy," Rashmi said. "Would you like-ah to order-ah the spa-ghe-tti? 'Oh, do me, Marco!”

“I spent the period reading the first novel assigned for English. And wow. If I hadn't realized I was in France yet, I do now. Because Like Water for Chocolate has sex in it. LOTS of sex.”

“Because I don’t want to be alone right now.” His voice echoes through the night.I turn around to face him one last time. “You weren’t alone, asshole.”

“Mis botas de combate con plataformas abren el camino. Y mantengo mi cabeza en alto hacia mi gran entrada, de la mano del chico que me dio la luna y las estrellas.”

“Quiero besarlo por el resto de la noche, por el resto de nuestras vidas. El indicado. Su sabor es salado como la niebla del mar. Pero también es dulce, como...—Cerezas —dice.”

“La puerta se cierra y St. Clair grita: —¡Lola, Cricket quiere mostrarte su cosa tambiéeen! ―Ellos se ríen mientras el eco de sus pisadas se aleja por el pasillo.”

“Porque eso es lo que pasa con la depresión. Cuando la sientes profundamente, no quieres dejarla ir. Se convierte en una comodidad. Yo quiero cubrirme dentro de su peso y respirarla en mis pulmones. Quiero alimentarla, hacerla crecer, cultivarla. Es mía. Yo quiero ser una con ella, ir a la deriva envuelta en sus brazos y no despertar en un largo, largo tiempo.”

“Desde que puedo recordar, siempre he hablado con la luna. Le pido consejos. Hay algo profundamente espiritual en su pálido resplandor, su superficie llena de cráteres, sus crecientes y sus menguantes. Usa un vestido nuevo todas las noches pero siempre es ella misma.Y siempre está ahí.”

“Necesito.Que palabra más aterradora, y poderosa.”

“—¿Qué acabó de pasar?—Tu padre invitó al antiguo amor de tu vida a comer pastel.—Sí. Eso es lo que pensé.”

“Había pasado tantas noches oscuras tratando de olvidarme de Cricket. No parecía justo que él se hubiera olvidado de mí.”

“Anna es la única persona que le llama por su nombre. El resto de nosotros lo llamamos por su apellido. St. Clair. No estoy segura de por qué. Es sólo una de esas cosas.”

“How much detention did you get?"Two weeks. One per arsehole.”

“Oh, it's okay," I say quickly, letting go of the figurine. "You can touch anything of mine you want." He freezes. A funny look runs across his face before I realize what I've said, I didn't mean it like that. Not that that would be so bad.”

“Some people are finicky about going to the theater alone, but I’m not. Because when the lights go down, the only relationship left in the room is the one between the movie and me.”

“They stayed with my mum.""That's... weird.""Not really. Mum is cool, easy to get along with."I raise a teasing eyebrow. "So where did YOU guys stay?""Where we always stay." He stares back solemnly. "In our very separate dormitories.”

“If I weren't standing next to your boyfriend, I'd be tempted to ask you out myself."She blushes, and St. Clair bounds inside the box office and wrestles her into a hug. "Miiiiiiiiine!" he says."Cut it out." Anna pushes him off, laughing. "You'll get fired. And then I'll have to support your sorry arse for the rest of our lives.”

“Where in the bloody hell did that come from?" asks the other person behind the counter. Or more precisely, on top of the counter, where her ridiculously attractive, English-accented boyfriend is perched.He's the other thing I like about Anna. Wherever she goes, he follows.He nods toward the baby wipe. "What else are you carrying in your pockets? Dust rags? Furniture polish?""Watch it," she says. "Or I'll scrub your arms, Étienne."He grins. "As long as you do it in private.”

“You don't think I'm perfect?""No. You're delightfully screwy, and I wouldn't have you any other way.”

“I love it when he cocks an eyebrow whenever I say something he finds clever or amusing. I love listening to his boots clomp across my bedroom ceiling. I love that the accent over his first name is called an acute accent, and that he has a cute accent.”

“I want to kiss him for the rest of the night, for the rest of our lives. The one.”

“He glances down and notices that I'm still wearing a certain blue something, and, this time, it's HIS index finger that wraps underneath MY rubber band. I shiver wonderfully. "I'm never taking it off." Cricket brushes the delicate skin of my wrist. "It'll fall off." "I'll ask you for another one." "I'll give you another one." He smiles and touches his nose to mine.”

“When I come back, the club is packed. There's hardly any standing room. Anna snagged a wooden bar stool, one of the few seats here. St. Clair stands close to her, facing her, and he smoothes the platinum stripe in her hair. She pulls him even closer by the top of his jeans, one finger tucked inside. It's an intimate gesture. I'm embarrassed to watch, but I can't look away. He kisses her slowly and deeply. They don't care that anyone could watch. Or maybe they've forgotten they aren't alone. When they break apart, Anna says something that makes him fall into silly, boyish laughter. For some reason, that's the moment that makes me turn away. Something about their love is painful.”

“It's easy to talk about things we hate, but sometimes it's hard to explain exactly why we like something.”

“Life isn’t about what you get, it’s about what you DO with what you get.”

“Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is to not make the same mistake twice.”

“It doesn't matter how much fabric is between us, the solid strength of his body against mine is electric. Charged. And then our arms are enveloping and our fingers are digging and our mouths are searching and our bodies find this lock.”

“Saw two fallen branches in the shape of a heart. Thought of you.”

“Because that’s the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I don’t want to let it go. It becomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lungs. I want to nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. It’s mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in its arms and not wake up for a long, long time.”

“Nathan nods. "Have a good time. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." I hear Andy as I'm walking out the front door. "Honey, that threat doesn't work when you're gay.”

“That guys. Sideburns. You like him?"My back squirms. "You've asked me that before.""What I meant was," he says, flustered. "Your feelings haven't changed? Since you've been here?"It takes a moment to consider the question. "It's not a matter of how I feel," I say at last. "I'm interested, but ... I don't know if he's still interested in me."St. Clair edges closer. "Does he still call?""Yeah. I mean, not often. But yes.""Right. Right, well," he says, blinking. "There's your answer.”

“I'm sorry," he says."What? Why?""You're fixing everything I set down." He nods at my hands, which are readjusting the elephant. "It wasn't polite of me to come in and start touching your things.""Oh, it's okay," I say quickly, letting go of the figurine. "You can touch anything of mine you want."He freezes. A funny look runs across his face before I realize what I've said. I didn't mean it like that.Not that that would be so bad.”

“There are some people in life that you can't get over.”

“Lola?" Cricket is on his knees at the side of my bed. I feel it. "I'm here," he whispers. "You can talk to me or not talk to me, but I'm here.”

“Hi," I whisper. He peels off my hands and turns toward the aisle. "Please don't make this any harder than it already is," he whispers back.”

“He stares at his hands. Whatever word he wrote there, its been crossed off. There's only a black box. "Lola, you were the only person I wanted there that night. I was crazy about you, but I didn't know what to do. It was paralyzing. There were so many times when I wanted to take your hand, but...I couldn't. That one small move felt impossible." Now I'm staring at my hands, too. "I would have let you take it." "I know." His voice croaks.”

“But I hurt you." His voice grows quiet. "I wish that I hadn't.”

“I told him your loins were clearly burning, and he should man up and make a move.""You did not!""I did. And if he doesn't, then I suggest you jump his bones."...I finally register what he's wearing. It's a handsome skinny black suit with a shiny sheen. The pants are too short - on purpose, of course - exposing his usual pointy shoes and a pair of blue socks that match my dress exactly.And I totally want to jump him.”

“I didn't know it was possible to simultaneously hate and ache for someone.”

“I close his fingers around the gift. “I threw away yourbottle cap, because it killed me to look at. But I never couldthrow away this. I’ve been waiting to give it to you for twoand a half years.”“I don’t know what to say,” he whispers.“I’m almost full,” I say. “Thank you for waiting for me, too.”

“I slide my hand between our mouths, just in time. His lipsare soft against my palm. I slowly, slowly remove it. “No, Idon’t love Max anymore. But I don’t want to give you thisbroken, empty me. I want you to have me when I’m full,when I can give something back to you. I don’t have much togive right now.”Cricket’s limbs are still, but his chest is pounding hardagainst my own. “But you’ll want me someday? That feelingyou once had for me … that hasn’t left either?”Our hearts beat the same wild rhythm. They’re playing thesame song.“It never left,” I say.”

“We are kissing like crazy. Like our lives depend on it. His tongue slips inside my mouth, gentle but demanding, and it’s nothing like I’ve ever experienced, and I suddenly understand why people describe kissing as melting because every square inch of my body dissolves into his. My fingers grip his hair, pulling him closer. My veins throb and my heart explodes. I have never wanted anyone like this before. Ever.He pushes me backward and we’re lying down, making out in front of the children with their red balloons and the old men with their chess sets and thetourists with their laminated maps and I don’t care, I don’t care about any of that.All I want is Étienne.The weight of his body on top of mine is extraordinary. I feel him—all of him—pressed against me, and I inhale his shaving cream, his shampoo, andthat extra scent that’s just . . . him. The most delicious smell I could ever imagine.I want to breathe him, lick him, eat him, drink him. His lips taste like honey. His face has the slightest bit of stubble and it rubs my skin but I don’t care, Idon’t care at all. He feels wonderful. His hands are everywhere, and it doesn’t matter that his mouth is already on top of mine, I want him closer closercloser.”

“What...what about when I'm married?”“We'll buy a cot. Your husband can sleep on that when he visits.”

“Being with Anna is easy. She's the one."The one. It stops my heart. I thought Max was the one, but... there's that other one.The first one."Do you believe in that?" I ask quietly. "In one person for everyone?"Something changes in St Clair's eyes. Maybe sadness. "I can't speak for anyone but myself," he says. "But, for me, yes. I have to be with Anna. But this is something you have to figure out on your own. I can't answer that for you, no one can.""Oh.""Lola." He rolls his chair over to my side. "I know things are shite right now. And in the name of friendship and full disclosure, I went through something similar last year. When I met Anna, I was with someone else. And it took a long time before I found the courage to do the hard thing. But you have to do the hard thing."I swallow. "And what's the hard thing?""You have to be honest with yourself.”

“So do you believe in second chances?" I bite my lip."Second, third, fourth. Whatever it takes. However long it takes. If the person is right," he adds."If the person is... Lola?"This time, he holds my gaze. "Only if the other person is Cricket.”

“And I hold my head high toward my big entrance, hand in hand with the boy who gave me the moon and the stars.”

“What are you gonna do with a giant crossword poster? 'Oh, I'm sorry, Anna. I can't go to the movies tonight. I'm working on two thousand across, Norwegian Birdcall.'""At least I'm not buying a Large Plastic Rock for hiding 'unsightly utility posts.' You realize you have no lawn?""I could hide other stuff. Like...failed French tests. Or illegal moonshining equipment." He couples over with that wonderful boyish laugher, and I grin. "But what will you do with a motorized swimming-pool snack float?""Use it in the bathtub.”