Stephenie Meyer

“Once you cared about a person, it was impossible to be logical about them anymore.”

“I took his hand, and suddely he yanked me―too roughly―right off the bed so that I thudded against his chest."Just in case," he muttered against my hair, crushing me in a bear hug that about to broke my ribs."Can't―breathe!" I gasped.”

“I'm trying to keep"― he huffed, shifting his weight as the treetop bounced him―"my promise!"I blinked my wet blurry eyes, suddenly sure that I was dreaming."When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?”

“Not as bad! Not as bad! my mind tried to comfort me. It was true. This wasn't as bad. This wasn't the end of the world, not again. This was just the end of what little peace there was left behind. That was all.Not as bad, I agreed, then added, but bad enough.”

“What the hell, I decided.”

“I was much more upset by the situation with Jacob than by the possibility of being eaten by a bear.”

“He was my best friend. I would always love him, and it would never, ever be enough.”

“It's just that, I know how you're unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down―I promise that you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?""Yeah Jake. I know that. And I already do count on you, probably more than you know.”

“I was an empty shell. Like a vacant house―condemned―for months I'd been utterly uninhabitable. Now I was a little improved. The front room was in better repair. But that was all―just the one small piece. He deserved better than that―better than a one-room, falling-down fixer-upper. No amount of investment on his part could put me back in working order.”

“How was I ever going to fight the blurring lines in our relationship when I enjoyed being with him so much?”

“I was like a lost moon―my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation―that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.”

“Hope your new boots are fast Bella. One little jar isn't going to keep a hungry bear occupied for long.""I only have to be faster than you.”

“Jacob really did look older than sixteen--not quite forty, but maybe older than me. Quil didn't have too much on him in the muscle department, for all that Jacob claimed to be a skeleton. The muscles were the long wiry kind, but they were definitely there under the smooth skin. His skin was such a pretty color, it made me jealous.Jacob noticed my scrutiny."What?" he asked, suddenly self-conscious."Nothing. I just hadn't realized before. Did you know, you're sort of beautiful?"Once the words slipped out, I worried that he might take my impulsive observation the wrong way.But Jacob just rolled his eyes. "You hit your head pretty hard, didn't you?""I'm serious.""Well, then, thanks. Sort of."I grinned. "You're sort of welcome.”

“He was biting his lower lip and clenching his hands. He looked like he was about to cry.I threw my arms around him instinctively, wrapping them around his waist and pressing my face against his chest. He was so big, I flet like I was a child hugging a grown-up."Oh, Jake, it'll be okay!" I promised. "If it gets worse you can come live with me and Charlie. Don't be scared, we'll think of something!"He was frozen for a second, and then his long arms wrapped hesitantly around me. "Thanks, Bella." His voice was huskier than usual.We stood like that for a moment, and it didn't upset me; in fact, I felt comforted by the contact. This didn't feel anything like the last time someone had embraced me this way. This was friendship. And Jacob was very warm.It was strange for me, being this close--emotionally rather physically, though the physical was strange for me, too--to another human being. It wasn't my usual style. I didn't normally relate to people so easily, on such a basic level.Not human beings."If this is how you're going to react, I'll freak out more often." Jacob's voice was light, normal again, and his laughter rumbled against my ear. His fingers touched my hair, soft and tentative.Well, it was friendship for me.”

“Here's to responsibility," he toasted. "Twice a week.""And recklessness every day in between," I emphasized.He grinned and touched his can to mine.”

“Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person, and he carried this happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Lika an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed them. It was natural, a part of who he was.”

“Jacob was a gift from the gods.”

“Billy wanted me to stay a safe distance from the most important person in my life. It turned out that his concern was, in the end, unnecessary. I was all too safe now.”

“Hey Jacob!" I felt an unfamiliar surge of enthusiasm at his smile. I realized that I was pleased to see him. This knowledge surprised me.I smiled back, and something clicked silently into place, like two corresponding puzzle pieces. I'd forgotten how much I really liked Jacob Black.”

“I lay in my bed a few minutes later, resigned as the pain finally made its appearance.It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been pushed through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn't hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me.And yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the pain--the aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and head--but it was managable. I could live through it. It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it.”

“It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me.I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.I did not resurface.”

“I would like to ask one favor though, if that's not too much," he said.I wonder what he saw on my face, because something flickered across his own face in response. But, before I could identify it, he'd composed his features into the same serene mask."Anything," I vowed, my voice faintly stronger.As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming."Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"I nodded helplessly.His eyes cooled, the distance returned.”

“The kiss began much the same as usual--Edward was as careful as ever, and my heart began to overreact like it always did. And then something seemed to change. Suddenly his lips became much more urgent, his free hand twisted into my hair and held my face securely to his. And though I was clearly beginning to cross his cautious lines, for once he didn't stop me. His body was cold through the thin quilt, but I crushed myself against him eagerly.”

“Happy birthday," he sighed, and leaned down to touch his lips to mine.I reached up on my toes to make the kiss last longer when he pulled away. He smiled my favorite crooked smile, and then he disappeared into the darkness.”

“I'd rather die than be with anyone but you.”

“It's not your fault," Carlisle comforted me with a chuckle. "It could happen to anyone.""Could," I repeated. "But it usually just happens to me.”

“Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm--into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.”

“Do you think I'll ever be better at this?" I wondered, mostly to myself. "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?""I really hope not," he said, a bit smug.”

“When I parked in front of Charlie's house, he reached over to take my face in his hands. He handled me very carefully, pressing just the tips of his fingers softly against my temples, my cheekbones, my jawline. Like I was especially breakable. Which was exactly the case--compared with him, at least."You should be in a good mood, today of all days," he whispered. His sweet breath fanned across my face."And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" I asked, my breathing uneven.His golden eyes smoldered. "Too bad."My head was already spinning by the time he leaned closer and pressed his icy lips against mine. As he intended, no doubt, I forgot all about my worries, and concentrated on remembering how to inhale and exhale.”

“You still owe me a yellow Porsche.”

“Her name is Wanda, not it. You will not touch her. Any mark you leave on her, I will double on your worthless hide.”

“Jealous, O’Shea?""Actually… I am.”

“Happy and sad, elated and miserable, secure and afraid, loved and denied, patient and angry, peaceful and wild, complete and empty...all of it. I would feel everything. It would all be mine.”

“A girl can dream."His eyebrows rose. "Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?""Not exactly," I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed. "Mostly I dream about being with you forever.”

“I can't always be Lois Lane," I insisted. "I want to be Superman, too.”

“Bella." He strocked my face anxiously. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me.""Do you swear you won't leave me?" I whispered. I tried to control the gasping, at least. My ribs were throbbing.He put his hands on either side of my face and brought his face close to mine. His eyes were wide and serious. "I swear.”

“Is the fire gone?""Yes," I sighed. "Thank you, Edward.""I love you," he answered."I know," I breathed, so tired.I heard my favorite sound in the world: Edward's quiet laugh, weak with relief.”

“The sun was hot on my skin, too bright as it bounced off the white concrete and blinded me. I felt dangerously exposed. More fiercely than I would have dreamed I was capable of, I wished for the green, protective forest of Forks . . . of home.”

“Is my mom all right?""She's perfectly fine. don't worry, Bella, I have no quarrel with her. Unless you didn't come alone, of course." Light, amused."I'm alone." I'd never been more alone in my entire life.”

“So, instead of panicking, I closed my eyes and spent the twenty minutes' drive with Edward.I imagined that I had stayed at the airport to meet Edward. I visualized how I would stand on my toes, the sooner to see his face. How quickly, how gracefully he would move through the crowds of people separating us. And then I would run to close those last few feet between us - reckless as always - and I would be in his marble arms, finally safe.”

“I miss you," I whispered."I know, Bella. believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half my self away with you.""Come and get it, then," I challenged."Soon, as soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first."His voice was hard."I love you," I reminded him."Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love you, too?""Yes, I can, actually.""I'll come for you soon.""I'll be waiting.”

“It's been almost a century that Edward's been alone. Now he's found you. You can't see the changes we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?”

“I love you," I said in a low, intense voice. "I will always love you, no matter what happens now.”

“That I wasn't mad at you. Can't you see that Bella?" He was suddenly intense, all trace of teasing gone. "Don't you understand?""See what?" I demanded, confused by his sudden mood swing as much as his words."I'm never angry with you - how could it be? Brave, trusting . . . warm as you are.""Then why?" I whispered, remembering the black moods that pulled him away from me, that I'd always interpreted as well-justified frustration - frustration at my weakness, my slowness, my unruly human reactions . . .He put his hands carefully on both side of my face. "I infuriate myself," he said gently. "The way I can't seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to-"I placed my hand over his mouth. "Don't."He took my hand, moving it from his lips, but holding it to his face."I love you," he said. "It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true."It was the first time he'd said he loved me - in so many words. He might not realize it, but I certainly did.”

“He placed his hands against the Jeep on either side of my head and leaned forward, forcing me to press back against the door. He leaned in even closer, his face inches from mine. I had no room to escape."Now," he breathed, and just his smell disturbed my thought processes, "what exactly are you worrying about?""Well, um, hitting a tree -" I gulped "- and dying. And then getting sick."He fought back a smile. Then he bent his head down and touched his cold lips softly to the hollow at the base of my throat."Are you still worried now?" he murmured against my skin."Yes." I struggled to concentrate. "About hitting trees and getting sick."His nose drew a line up the skin of my throat to the point of my chin. His cold breath tickled my skin."And now?" His lips whispered against my jaw."Trees," I gasped. "Motion sickness."He lifted his face to kiss my eyelids. "Bella, you don't really think I would hit a tree, do you?""No, but I might." There was no confidence in my voice. He smelled an easy victory.He kissed slowly down my cheek, stopping just at the corner of my mouth."Would I let a tree hurt you?" His lips barely brushed against my trembling lower lip."No," I breathed. I knew there was a second part to my brillant defense, but I couldn't quite call it back."You see," he said, his lips moving against mine. "There's nothing to be afraid of, is there?""No," I sighed, giving up.Then he took my face in his hands almost roughly, and kissed me in earnest, his unyielding lips moving against mine.There was really no excuse for my behavior. Obviously I knew better by now. And yet I couldn't seem to stop from reacting exactly as I had the first time. Instead of keeping safely motionless, my arms reached up to twine tightly around his neck, and I was suddenly welded to his stone figure. I sighed, and his lips parted.”

“He leaned over to kiss the top of my head, and then groaned. I looked at him, puzzled."You smell so good in the rain," he explained."In a good way, or in a bad way?" I asked cautiously.He sighed. "Both, always both.”

“It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share”

“I hate to burst your bubble, but you're really not as scary as you think you are. I don't find you scary at all, actually," I lied casually.He stopped, raising his eyebrows in blatant disbelief. Then he flashed a wide, wicked smile."You really shouldn't have said that," he chuckled.He growled, a low sound in the back of his throat; his lips curled back over his perfect teeth. His body shifted suddenly, half-crouched, tensed lika a lion about to pounce.I backed away from him, glaring."You wouldn't."I didn't see him leap me - it was much too fast. I only found myself suddenly airborne, and then we crashed onto the sofa, knocking it into the wall. All the while, his arms formed an iron cage of protection around me - I was barely jostled. But I still was gasping as I tried to right myself.He wasn't having that. He curled me into a ball against his chest, holding me more securely than iron chains. I glared at him in alarm, but he seemed well in control, his jaw relaxed as he grinned, his eyes bright only with humor."You were saying?" he growled playfully."That you are a very, very terrifying monster," I said, my sarcasm marred a bit my breathless voice."Much better," he approved.”

“I wanted the monster back and that was plainly wrong.”

“Just because I’m resisting the wine doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the bouquet.”