Steven Moffat

“The Doctor: I've seen bigger.Clara: Really?The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive!”

“I don't know. I can't tell the future I just work there.”

“I'd forgotten not all victories are about saving the universe.”

“Young Reinette: Monsieur, be careful!The Doctor: It's just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry, everyone has nightmares. Even monsters under the bed have nightmares!Young Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?The Doctor: Me!”

“Don't play games with me! You just killed someone I like, that is not a safe place to stand! I'm the Doctor, and you're in the biggest library in the Universe. Look me up.”

“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best.”

“I think that's the way people absorb television. All the explanations in Doctor Who are there if that's your bag, but they're not essential to your enjoyment of it. An awful lot of storytelling isn't really about making people understand — it's about making people care.”

“Rule 1: The Doctor lies.”

“Never run when you're scared. Rule 7.”

“Never knowingly be serious. Rule 27.”

“You should always waste time when you don't have any. Time is not the boss of you. Rule 408.”

“Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.”

“The Doctor: Dr. Song, you’ve got that face on again.River: What face?The Doctor: The ‘he’s hot when he’s clever’ face.River: This is my normal face.The Doctor: Yes, it is.”

“You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful — and then you actually talk with them, and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick. But then there's other people, and you meet them and you think: "Not bad, they're okay," and then you get to know them, and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality's written all over it; and they just — and they turn into something so beautiful. [Simultaneously, with Older Amy] Rory is the most beautiful man I've ever met.”

“It's a funny thing about stories. It doesn't feel like you make them up, more like you find them. You type and type and you know you haven't got it yet, because somewhere out there, there's that perfect thing -- the unexpected ending that was always going to happen. That place you've always been heading for, but never expected to go.”

“I always rip out the last page of a book, then it doesn't have to end. I hate endings.”

“You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!”

“See the bowtie? I wear it and I don't care. That's why it's cool.”

“I'll be a story in your head. That's okay. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? 'Cause it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back.”

“River Song: Right then. I have questions, but number one is this - what in the name of sanity have you got on your head? The Doctor: It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.”

“Come on, Rory! It isn't rocket science, it's just quantum physics!-The Doctor (Matt Smith)”

“We're all stories, in the end.”

“So is this how it works Doctor? You never interfere with the affairs of other peoples or planets, unless there are children crying?”

“The Doctor: Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink.”

“The Doctor: You know how adults tell you everything's going to be fine, just to make you feel better? Amelia: Yes. Doctor: Well.....everything's going to be fine.”

“The Doctor: Just had a fall. All the way down there, right to the library. Heck of a climb back up.Amelia: You're soaking wet. The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool. Amelia: You said you were in the library. The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.”

“River Song: Use the stabilisers! The Doctor: It doesn't have stabilisers! River Song: The blue switches! The Doctor: The blue ones don't do anything, they're just... blue! River Song: Yes they're blue: they're the blue stabilisers! [presses the button and the TARDIS indeed stabilises] See? The Doctor: Yeah? Well, it's boring now, isn't it? They're boring-ers! They're blue... boring-ers! Amy: Doctor, how come she can fly the TARDIS? The Doctor: You call that flying the TARDIS? [scoffs] Ha! River Song: Okay, I've mapped the probability vectors, done a foldback on the temporal isometry, charted the ship to its destination and... [presses a button, the cloister bell clangs] parked us right alongside. The Doctor: Parked us? But we haven't landed! River Song: Of course we've landed; I just landed her. The Doctor: But it didn't make the noise. River Song: What noise? The Doctor: You know, the... [does an impression of the TARDIS materialisation sound] River Song: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.The Doctor: Yes, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.”

“Have you met the French? My...GOD they know how to party!”

“Amy: I had something I wanted to tell him. Stuff always gets in the way.Canton: Stuff does that.”

“The Doctor: Doctor Song, you've got that face on again.River: What face?The Doctor: The "He's hot when he's clever" face.River: This is my normal face.The Doctor: Yes it is.River: Oh, shut up.The Doctor: Not a chance.”

“There's one thing you don't put in a trap, if you're smart, if you value your continued existance, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never ever put in a trap.And what would that be sir?Me”

“*Throwing bread out of door* AND STAY OUT!”

“Though the man above might say hello, expect no love from the beast below”

“Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life.The Doctor: Believe me... It was an accident.”

“This was supposed to be yesterday. I was sitting on the Cardiff/London train, supposedly about to write this very column, and realising something quite terrible. My head was entirely empty. A vast echoing void. Bigger on the inside, but with nothing in it. You could drop a pebble in my brain and wait for an hour to hear it land. No actually, you couldn't - that would be aggressive and unhelpful, so keep your damn pebbles to yourself.”

“It's a TV show. Only the emotional damage is real.”

“Demons run when a good man goes to warNight will fall and drown the sunWhen a good man goes to warFriendship dies and true love liesNight will fall and the dark will riseWhen a good man goes to warDemons run, but count the costThe battle's won, but the child is lost”

“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.”

“The Doctor: Oh, now what's this, then? I love this. A big, flashy-lighty thing. That's what brought me here. Big, flashy-lighty things have got me written all over them. Not actually, but give me time... and a crayon.”

“There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick.”

“The Doctor: This is bad, I don't like this. [kicks console and yells in pain] Never use force, you just embarrass yourself. Unless you're cross, in which case... always use force! Amy: Shall I run and get the manual? The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova. Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why? The Doctor: Because I disagreed with it! Now stop talking to me when I'm cross!”

“Angel Bob: Doctor? Excuse me, hello, Doctor? Angel Bob here, sir. The Doctor: Ah, there you are, Angel Bob. How's life? Sorry, bad subject. Angel Bob: The Angels are wondering what you hope to achieve. The Doctor: Achieve? We're not achieving anything. We're just hanging, it's nice in here: consoles; comfy chairs; a forest... how's things with you? Angel Bob: The Angels are feasting, sir. Soon we will be able to absorb enough power to consume this vessel, this world, and all the stars and worlds beyond. The Doctor: Yeah, but we've got comfy chairs. Did I mention? Angel Bob: We have no need for comfy chairs. The Doctor: [amused] I made him say 'comfy chairs'.”

“The Doctor: [aiming gun at the ceiling] Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap. Angel Bob: And what would that be, sir? The Doctor: Me. [fires]”

“Amy Pond: 'I thought... well, I started to think you were just a madman with a box.'The Doctor: 'Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. [He Smiles] I am definitely a madman with a box.”

“The Doctor: 'You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine, but you really think they're lying to make you feel better?' Amelia: 'Yeah...'The Doctor: 'Everything's going to be fine.”

“Bow ties are cool.”

“Geronimo!”

“You don't want to take over the universe. You wouldn't know what to do with it beyond shout at it.”

“Amy: I never knew you drank wine.Doctor: I'm 1103 I must have drunk it sometime in my life.*takes sip and spits it out in disgust*”

“[The Doctor, Capt. Jack and Rose are cornered by the empty children.]The Doctor: Go to your room! Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! GO! TO! YOUR! ROOM! [The children lurch away and obey him.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.”