Sue Townsend

“Will you lie to me and promise to read them? Books need to be read. The pages need to be turned.”

“She liked people. Me, I can take them or leave them, but mostly leave them.”

“Personally, nothing would surprise me any more. If my father announced that he was really a Russian agent or my mother ran away with a circus knife thrower, I wouldn't raise an eyebrow.”

“Sex with the gorilla went on a bit, but once he'd stumbled over my clitoris we both had good times.”

“Adrian Mole's diaryEasterPoor Jesus, it must have been dead awful for him. I wouldn't have the guts to do it myself.”

“I used to be the sort of boy who had sand kicked in his face, now I'm the sort of boy who watches somebody else have it kicked in their face”

“Мужика белобрысого зовут Дункан Макинтош, а его партия называется “Пусть катятся, откуда пришли”. Этот Макинтош хочет всех из Британии насильно выгнать: черных, коричневых, желтых, красных, евреев, ирландцев, уэльсцев, шотландцев, кельтов и потомков норманнов. В общем, останутся только чистокровные блондинистые саксонцы, и больше никого. Мама высчитала, что если этот Макинтош к власти придет, то он и будет населением Британии.”

“To unlock the heavy outer door and to walk into the hushed interior, with the morning light spilling from the high windows on to the waiting books, gave her such pleasure that she would have worked for nothing.”

“I don't know why women are so mad about flowers. Personally, they leave me cold. I prefer trees.”

“Adrian Mole's father was so angry that so many pepole got divorced nowadays. HE had been unhappilly married for 30 years, why should everybody else get away?”

“The monarchy is finished. It was finished a while ago, but they're still making the corpses dance.”

“There's only one thing more boring than listening to other people's dreams, and that's listening to their problems.”

“My mother is now in the hospital 60 miles away, where they are treating her pneumonia. I refuse to feel guilty. Guilt is a destructive emotion and doesn't fit in with my Life Plan.”

“Now I know I am an intellectual. I saw Malcolm Muggeridge on the television last night, and I understood nearly every word. It all adds up. A bad home, poor diet, not liking punk. I think I will join the library and see what happens.”

“Auf dem Schulweg begegnete ich unserem Briefträger. Er sagte mir, Mutter kaeme mich am Samstag besuchen. Am liebsten wuerde ich ihn seiner Dienststelle melden, weil er Privatpost liest.”

“8.45 a.m. My mother is in the hospital grounds smoking a cigarette. She is looking old and haggard. All the debauchery is catching up with her.”