Susan Bischoff

“Parental looks rely a lot on brow positioning. Whereas the Dad Look involves the lowering of the brow as a whole, the Mom Look takes advantage of the power of the single, raised brow. Of Doom.”

“How two people can be so completely in sync and so completely clueless about each other at the same time is absolutely beyond my ability to comprehend.”

“I should get points for not saying every dumb thing that pops in my head.”

“Because that’s where I keep my Great Big Book of Manners by Emily Post and I want to beat you with it.”

“Bleeding from the ear. Oh Jesus, God. That was on the list for not applying pressure. But what did that mean? I couldn't remember. Couldn't think."Is he okay?""You dropped a two-hundred pound log on his head!" I screamed at Nathan. The air shuddered around us; the building itself seeming to tremble."I didn't mean-""Shut up, man," Marco said, swatting at Nathan's arm. "Joss, you need to calm the fuck down.""Calm down? Calm down?!" Energy pulsed around us, hot, thick, pricking at my eyes. Above, lights flickered, dimmed. A bulb shattered somewhere, and glass came tinkling down.”

“ "Crazy," he muttered softly, "how much I need you."Crazy, how something like that can feel like a kick in the chest, can hurt that much, can suck all the air right out of your body for a moment. And at the same time, settle over you, around you, so soft and warm and sweet, that you think nothing can ever be as good as this one moment.Crazy.That I can love you.This much.”

“Just think of a safe location.""Are there tennis balls in the soup?""Come on, be serious.""A pear camping highway fire mask," he said, more intensely.My heart rate, which had finally started slowing, sped up again.”

“You know, you guys have been dancing around each other for so long you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. It's a wonder you didn't rip each other's clothes off the minute you got over yourselves and got together.""For crissakes, Heather.”

“How could I explain why I'd acted that way? How could I explain how scary it was, to find out that I needed her so much? Was I supposed to tell her how she'd changed everything? Like how U hadn't even realized how bad I felt until she'd made it better, just by looking at me. Like how I thought she was awesome, bad-ass ninja, and what I hated was the fact that I knew I couldn't protect her, when that's all I wanted to do. How could I explain, without sounding like a complete asshole, that I was so afraid of losing her I pushed her away? I couldn't.”

“Tim and Raine are coming in.""Are they insane?""Apparently.”

“"Joss""What?""What?" Dylan asked back."You just said my name.""No I didn't""Sorry that was me."I sat up, banging my head on the roof. "Who is that?""Hey, stay down here where the air is good, okay?" Dylan pulled me gently back down. "Hows your head?""Not good, I think.""Um, okay, so you here me. Heather's right, you do think loud. I mean, I've never heard you before, but my Talent seems to be a lot more selective than her's. But now that she's got me turned in to you-""Who are you?""It's still me, Marshall. It's Dylan. I'm right here.""My name's Joel.""Joel?""Joss, what are you talking about?" He took my face in his hands. "Who's Joel?""The voice in my head, I guess.""Jesus.”

“Oh my God, cheese burn!”

“You realize, of course, that you are a complete idiot.Well, conscience, I'd say that much is obvious.”

“Dylan, while he is in the shower and he and Joss are only seperated by the curtain and his invisibility:Dylan: "Maybe if you would come in here and scrub my back it would speed things up."Joss: "I'm not invisible."Dylan: "I know this.”

“Dylan: "I'd stolen chocolate from there, back when I was into that kind of thing. Stealing, not chocolate... whatever.”

“Marco, honey, I'm gonna have to wreck your fantasy and tell that not only are Joss and I not involved with each other, and not only are we both straight-which you'd think any straight guy would realize-but I would do her and half the guys at this table before I would even let you watch me change my shoes"Eric opened his mouth to say something but Kat immediately cut him off "No, Eric. You're in the other half”