Tabitha McGowan

“Even at this ridiculous hour, and clad in a faded blue t-shirt and ancient pyjama pants, he looked like something Michelangelo might reject for being too beautiful”

“Well golly fucking gosh how terribly delightful for her. Now get out.”

“Just out of interest, what did you make of my Finn?Probably the most beautiful man I've ever seen.”

“It was the first time I had ever felt guilt at finding a man attractive.”

“I don't expect you to be like them. Don't want you to be. It's not them I want, it's you. From the moment we met, it's only been you.”

“But at the end of the day, everything I do costs me. The only question is how much.”

“It was easy to forget that other people lived in a world where rules and laws and common sense could keep you safe. A world where, if you did the right thing you were allowed to get on with your life in whichever way you chose.”

“The momentary discomfort was nothing at all compared to the realisation that she was finding refuge in my flawed embrace.”

“On balance, I’d say I prefer performing in front of a few thousand adoring women, but ‘Security Guard at the Castle of the Damned’ comes a pretty close second.   I should be fine, as long as there are no ghosts.”

“The tricky bit was figuring out where we were because I couldn’t imagine anyone, God included, daring to send Lilith Bresson to hell.”

“God, I’ve just figured out what’s missing – you ditched the hallowed Albermarle Teddy Bear!’ I nodded.   ‘Banished to a dark cupboard for all eternity.’ ‘You cold-hearted bastard.’ ‘Give me a hot water bottle any day.   At least they have some appreciable function.   Not like that pathetic pile of overpriced fake fur and anthropomorphic bullshit I locked in the wardrobe.’‘You have serious teddy bear issues.”

“[...] Lilith turned on me with the same fury I had watched her unleash on that fat bastard on the TV and I seriously feared for my balls.”

“Lilith Bresson, innocent of everything except having a bastard for a father, took her new fate with a calm that was terrifying.”

“I’ve got one of those horrendous personalities that needs to know every detail about whatever I’m working on.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ on a fuckin’ pushbike.”

“Normally the first to read the small print, I had deliberately hidden away any paperwork that referred to this ridiculous task, and now I found myself kissing goodbye to a laptop, a mobile phone and two fully-loaded MP3 players, not to mention the halogen light that allowed me to work through the night if I so desired.   I stared disconsolately out over the shimmering tarmac and   wondered if I might be granted permission to shave my legs.”

“I didn’t know what the hell to say to that. I just gave an ungrateful sigh of exasperation and pulled the sweater over my head.‘It’s just your colour,’ Henry enthused.‘And you can fuck right off,’ I said.”

“She wore a cantilevered, augmented-breast-skimming satin dress the colour of egg-yolk. Somewhere in deepest Nebraska, a prom queen two sizes smaller than Selena was wondering where the fuck her outfit had disappeared to.”

“The voice in my head is is fond of upper-case. It's like having a sub-cranial golden retriever.”