Tabitha Suzuma

“If I move, if I speak, if I so much as blink, I'm going to lose this battle.”

“Puedes cerrar los ojos a las cosas que no quieres ver, pero no puedes cerrar tu corazón a las cosas que no quieres sentir.”

“Everyone else is permitted to have what they want, express their love as they please, without fear of harassment, ostracism, persecution or even the law. Even emotionally abusive, adulterous relationships are often tolerated, despite the harm they cause others. In our progressive, permissive society, all these harmful, unhealthy types of 'love' are allowed - but not ours.”

“Nothing can relieve the pain. Not crying, laughing, screaming, begging. Nothing can change the past.”

“Never before have I imagined my life without him—like this house, he is my only point of reference in this difficult existence, this unstable and frightening world. The thought of his leaving home fills me with a terror so strong, it takes my breath away. I feel like one of those seagulls covered in oil from a spill, drowning in a black tar of fear.”

“Otherwise I'll fall apart. I'm going to fall apart. I am falling apart.”

“I feel like I'm going crazy: seeing you every day but never being able to - to hold you, to touch you when anyone else is around. i just want to take your hand, kiss you, hug you, without having to hide all the time. All those things every other couple takes for granted!”

“I want to tell her that I can't pull her down. I want to tell her that she has to let go of my hand in order to swim. I want to tell her that she must live her own life. But I sense she already knows that these options are open to her. And that she, too, has made her choice.”

“And the very important fact that I'm here to worry with you and go through all of this - every little bit of it - by your side, even your worst-case-scenario, should it somehow come to that. You wouldn't be doing any of it alone.'Her voice drops and she looks down at our hands, fingers entwined, resting on her lap. 'Whatever happens, there will always be us.”

“Get through today – you can fall apart tomorrow. Get through tomorrow, you can fall apart the day after . . .”

“Family: the most important thing of all. My siblings may drive me crazy at times but they are my blood. They’re all I’ve known. My family is me. They are my life. Without them I walk the planet alone. Forbidden, Tabitha Suzuma”

“Todos tienen permitido obtener lo que quieren, expresar su amor como les plazca, sin temor al acoso, ostracismo, persecución o incluso la ley. Incluso el abuso emocional y las relaciones de adulterio son regularmente toleradas, a pesar del daño que causan a otros. En nuestra sociedad progresiva y tolerante, todos estos tipos de “amor” perjudiciales e insanos son permitidos, pero no el nuestro. No puedo pensar en ningún otro tipo de amor que sea tan totalmente rechazado, incluso aunque el nuestro sea tan profundo, apasionado, cariñoso y fuerte que si nos obligan a estar separados nos causarían un dolor inimaginable. Estamos siendo castigados por el mundo por una simple razón: por haber sido producidos por la misma mujer.”

“The sight of such aching beauty would infuse his soul with pain.”

“They say when you really love someone, you should be willing to set them free. So that is what I am doing. I will step back and you will move on. I will let you go. ... Your happiness means everything to me. I will listen for your voice in the distance. I will look at the moon. I will keep you in my pocket. I will carry your smile with me everywhere, like a warm and comforting glow.”

“They say that depression makes you see everything in a negative light. I disagree. It makes you see things for what they are. It makes you take off the fucking rose-tinted glasses and look around and see the world as it really is- cruel, harsh and unfair. It makes you see people in their true colours- stupid, shallow and self-absorbed. All that ridiculous optimism, all that carpe diem and life-is-what-you-make-of-it. Words, jsut empty words in an attempt to give meaning to an existence taht is both doomed and futile.”

“At the age of five she has already come to terms with one of the life's harshest lessons: that the world isn't fair.”

“Lochie. The boy I once loved. The boy I still love. The boy I will continue to love, even when my part in this world is over too.”

“...and my loneliness, always my loneliness - that airless bubble of despair that is slowing stifling me.”

“Even though I'm surrounded by pupils, there is the invisible screen screen between us, and behind the glass wall I am screaming - screaming in my own silence, screaming to be noticed, to be befriended, to be liked.”

“If I keep breathing, then I have to keep living, and if I keep living, then I have to keep hurting, and I can't - not like this.”

“Trying to describe my life and feelings to you is like trying to describe coulours to the blind, or music to the deaf. It's simply not possible.”

“I would give anything to escape myself, Flynn thought, just for a day, just for a minute even. Just to know what it was like to think differently, to feel differently, and to not be me.”

“But then why is it so terrible for me to be with the girl I love? Everyone one is permitted to have what they want, express their love as they please, without fear of harassment, ostracism, persecution, or even the law. Even emotionally abusive, adulterous relationships are often tolerated, despite the harm they cause others. In our progressive, permissive society, all these harmful, unhealthy types of "love" are allowed--but not ours.”

“He will think Lochan wasn't loved, but he was, more deeply than most people are in a lifetime.”

“But whichever form it took it brought with it, in those moments of bitter anguish, such a desperate surge of hope that it was almost untouchable, and flitted away like a golden butterfly into the bright blue sky - beautiful, unreachable and completely transistent.”

“Your happiness means everything to me. I will listen for your voice in the distance. I will look at the moon. I will keep you in my pocket. I will carry your smile with me everywhere like a warm and comforting glow.”

“Before there was anything, there was Lochan.”

“I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you of all people. Throughout my life you were the one person I could turn to. The one person I could always count on to understand. And now that I’ve lost you, I’ve lost everything.”

“Do I realy regret that night? That one moment of joy beyond compare – some people never experience it in a lifetime. But the downside to that taste of pure happiness is that,like a drug, a glimmer of paradise, it leaves you craving more.”

“only a matter of time before it broke through our fragile web of denial, forcing us to confront the truth and acknowledge who we are: two people in love – a love that nobody else could possibly understand.”

“I love you in–in every kind of way.’‘I feel like that too . . .’ His voice is shocked and raw. ‘It’s – it’s a feeling so big I sometimes think it’s going to swalow me. It’s so strong I feel it could kil me. It keeps growing and I can’t – I don’t know what to do to stop it. But – but we’re not supposed to do this – to love each other like this!”

“And I know how he feels–it’s so good it hurts. ”

“Because at the end of the day that’s what we’re all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we’re all the same.”

“At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window–do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physicaly capable of no more,or does it eventualy learn after one crash too many that there is no way out? At what point do you decide that enough is enough?”

“Anyway, what does mad mean exactly?" Rami added quickly "Aren't we all a little mad? Don't we have to be somehat mad just to go on living, to go on hoping?”

“Willa’s big blue eyes, Willa’s dimpled-cheeked smile. Tiffin’s shaggy blond mane, Tiffin’s cheeky grin. Kit’s yells of excitement, Kit’s glow of pride. Maya’s face, Maya’s kisses, Maya’s love.Maya, Maya, Maya . . .”

“Being together, we harm nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves.”

“At what point do you give up - decide enough is enough? There is only one answer really. Never.”

“I am overcome by a feeling of complete detachment. I am a mere object to these people. I am barely human any more.”

“This whole time, my whole life, that harsh, stony path was leading up to this one point. I followed it blindly, stumbling along the way, scraped and weary, without any idea of where it was leading, without ever realizing that with every step I was approaching the light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel. And now that I've reached it, now that I'm here, I want to catch it in my hand, hold onto it forever to look back on - the point at which my new life really began.”

“But I don't want to be fine, not if it means she's going to let go of my hand; not if it means we're going to go back to being polite strangers.”

“I mean, at the end of the day, what the hell does it matter who I end up with if it can't be you?”

“And this is something I must accept - even if, like acid on metal, it is slowly corroding me inside.”

“Time has stopped; time is racing. Lochie's lips are rough yet smooth, hard yet gentle. His fingers are strong: I feel them in my hair and on my neck and down my arms and against my back. And I never want him to let me go.”

“It's always nice being wanted. Even if it's by the wrong person.”

“He is my soul mate, my fresh air, the reason I look forward to getting up every morning.”

“The words fire from my mouth like bullets, ricocheting off the walls before I can even register what I'm saying.”

“She can't just be a face, a body; there has to be more than that, some kind of connection. And I can't connect, don't want to connect, with anyone.”

“Pressed up against him, I can feel the thud of his heart against mine, his ribcase expanding and contracting rapidly against my chest, the warm whisper of his breath tickling the side of my neck, the brush of his leg against my thigh. Resting my arms on his shoulders, I pull back a little to get a look at his face. But he isn't smiling any more.”

“I've never seen anyone sleep with their head hanging off the back of a wooden chair before - was the couch not comfortable enough for you?”