Tahereh Mafi

“I have officially, absolutely collapsed inside.”

“It's hot rain and humid days and broken thermostats. It's screaming and raging steam engines and wanting to take your clothes off just to feel a breeze. It's the kind of kiss that makes you realize oxygen is overrated.”

“It's only when he finds my face that he meets my gaze; I step into the sea of blue in his eyes, dive right in and drown.”

“My heart is pounding so hard I'm surprised it's not bleeding.”

“I like when he tells me that he likes the way I feel because it goes against what I've heard my entire life and I wish I could put his words in my pocket just to touch them once in a while and remind myself that they exist.”

“He's kissing me like he's lost me and he's found me and I'm slipping away and he's never going to let me go. I want to scream, sometimes, I want to collapse, sometimes, I want to die knowing that I've known what it was like to live with this kiss, this heart, this soft soft explosion that makes me feel like I've taken a sip of the sun, like I've eaten clouds 8,9, and 10.”

“I bite back a shiver as the blood rushes up to blush my cheeks and for a moment, just for this moment, I drop my bones and allow him to hold me together.”

“Books are easily destroyed. But words will live as long as people can remember them.”

“On the darkest days you have to search for a spot of brightness, on the coldest days you have to seek out a spot of warmth; on the bleakest days you have to keep your eyes onward and upward and on the saddest days you have to leave them open to let them cry. To then let them dry. To give them a chance to wash out the pain in order to see fresh and clear once again.”

“Nothing in this life will ever make sense to me but I can't help but try to collect the change and hope it's enough to pay for our mistakes.”

“Invisible guns, huh?" Kenji smirks. "That's cute. I don't think I ever went through that phase.”

“I want to scream, sometimes, I want to collapse, sometimes, I want to die knowing that I've known what it was like to live with this kiss, this heart, this soft soft explosion that makes me feel like I've taken a sip of the sun...”

“I'm not interested in waiting around and risking the who-knows and the what-ifs and the huge regrets. I want to feel all of it....”

“Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kenji?""What?" He looks mortally offended. "Do I look like the kind of guy who's never had a girlfriend? Have you even met me?”

“En ausencia a las relaciones humanas, formé vínculos con los personajes del papel. He vivido el amor y la pérdida a través de los artículos enlazados en la historia, experimenté la adolescencia por asociación. Mi mundo es una red entretejida de palabras, tendida de rama a rama, cada hueso con tendones, pensamientos e imágenes de todos los puntos. Soy un ser compuesto de letras, un personaje creado por sentencias, producto de la imaginación formado a través de la ficción.”

“Sometimes I wonder about glue.No one ever stops to ask glue how it’s holding up. If it’s tired of sticking things together or worried about falling apart or wondering how it will pay its bills next week.”

“I want to trust but it scares the skin off my bones.”

“He’s kissing me like the world is rolling right off a cliff, like he’s trying to hang on and he’s decided to hold on to me, like he’s starving for life and love and he’s never known it could ever feel this good to be close to someone. Like it’s the first time he’s ever felt anything but hunger and he doesn’t know how to pace himself, doesn’t know how to eat in small bites, doesn’t know how to do anything anything anything in moderation.”

“I want so many things,” he whispers. “I want your mind. Your strength. I want to be worth your time.” His fingers graze the hem of my top and he says “I want this up.” He tugs on the waist of my pants and says “I want these down.” He touches the tips of his fingers to the sides of my body and says, “I want to feel your skin on fire. I want to feel your heart racing next to mine and I want to know it’s racing because of me, because you want me. Because you never,” he says, he breathes, “never want me to stop. I want every second. Every inch of you. I want all of it.”

“His chest, heaving harder this time. His words, almost gasping this time. “You destroy me.”I am falling to pieces in his arms.My fists are full of unlucky pennies and my heart is a jukebox demanding a few nickels and my head is flipping quarters heads or tails heads or tails heads or tails heads or tails“Juliette,” he says, and he mouths the name, barely speaking at all, and he’s pouring molten lava into my limbs and I never even knew I could melt straight to death.“I want you,” he says. He says “I want all of you. I want you inside and out and catching your breath and aching for me like I ache for you.” He says it like it’s a lit cigarette lodged in his throat, like he wants to dip me in warm honey and he says “It’s never been a secret. I’ve never tried to hide that from you. I’ve never pretended I wanted anything less.”

“La terre est plate. Je le sais parce qu'on m'a poussé dans le vide et ça fait dix-sept ans que j'essaie de me cramponner au bord... C'est presque impossible de vaincre la pesanteur quand personne n'est prêt à te tendre la main.”

“He looks immaculate.Flawless, especially as he stands here among the dirt and destruction, surrounded by the bleakest colors this landscape has to offer. He's a vision of emerald and onyx, silhouetted in the sunlight in the most deceiving way. He could be glowing. That could be a halo around his head. This could be the world's way of making an example out of irony. Because Warner is beautiful in ways even Adam isn't.”

“Hope.It's like a drop of honey, a field of tulips blooming in the springtime. It's a fresh rain, a whispered promise, a cloudless sky, the perfect punctuation mark at the end of a sentence. And it's the only thing in the world keeping me afloat.”

“I want to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with. The one you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head. I want to be that kind of friend. The one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I want to know every curve, every freckle, every shiver of your body. I want to know where to touch you, I want to know how to touch you. I want to know convince you to design a smile just for me. Yes, I do want to be your friend. I want to be your best friend in the entire world.”

“... shit happens. We deal with it, and we find a way to survive. You`re not the only one with the problems.”

“Laughter comes from living.”

“I am nothing more than the consequence of catastrophe.”

“Non ho mai desiderato vestiti, scarpe perfette né beni di lusso. Non ho mai desiderato di ricoprirmi di seta. L’unica cosa che desideravo era di poter toccare un altro essere umano con le mani, e soprattutto con il cuore. Conosco il mondo e la sua scarsa compassione, il suo giudizio severo e spiacevole, il suo sguardo algido e risentito. Ci sono cresciuta in mezzo. Ho avuto tutto il tempo che volevo per ascoltare. Per guardare. Per studiare le persone, i luoghi e le alternative. Non dovevo far altro che aprire gli occhi. Non dovevo far altro che aprire un libro e vedere le storie che sanguinavano una pagina dopo l’altra. Vedere i ricordi impressi sulla carta. Ho trascorso un’esistenza intera fra le pagine dei libri. In mancanza di relazioni umane, ho stretto legami con personaggi di carta. Ho sperimentato l’amore e la perdita per mezzo di storie ambientate nel passato; ho vissuto l’adolescenza di riflesso. Il mio mondo è una ragnatela intricata di parole che connettono arto con arto, osso con tendine, pensieri con immagini. Sono una creatura fatta di lettere, un personaggio disegnato da frasi, il prodotto di una fantasia scaturita dalla narrativa. Vogliono cancellare ogni segno d’interpunzione dalla mia vita, e non credo di poterglielo lasciar fare.”

“In order to eat a pomegranate you need this many things: a pomegranate, a knife, a cutting board, a bowl and a towel. Also, two hands. These help with the making of the pomegranate.”

“Fun fact #1 about pomegranates: Pomegranates are awesome.Fun fact #2: Pomegranates are like little explosions of awesome in your mouth.Fun fact #3: A lot of people think you're not supposed to eat the seeds of a pomegranate - but that's not true, people who tell you that are liars, and they don't know anything about life, and they should never be trusted.”

“This girl is destroying me. A girl who has spent the last year in an insane asylum. A girl who would try to shoot me dead for kissing her. A girl who ran off with another man just to get away from me. Of course this is the girl I would fall for. I close a hand over my mouth. I am losing my mind.”

“This pen is my only outlet, my only voice, because I have no one else to speak to, no mind but my own to drown in and all the lifeboats are taken and all the life preservers are broken and I don’t know how to swim I can’t swim I can’t swim and it’s getting so hard. It’s getting so hard. It’s like there are a million screams caught inside of my chest but I have to keep them all in because what’s the point of screaming if you’ll never be heard and no one will ever hear me in here. No one will ever hear me again.”

“Because when I said I wanted to touch the moon you took my hand, held me close, and taught me how to fly.”

“He won’t stop staring.“What?” I ask.“How much do you weigh?”“Wow. Is that how you talk to every girl you meet? That explains so much.”“I’m about one hundred seventy-five pounds,” he says. “Of muscle.”I stare at him. “Would you like an award?”“Well, well, well,” he says, cocking his head, the barest hint of a smile flickering across his face. “Look who’s the smart-ass now.”“I think you’re rubbing off on me,” I say.”

“The man is moody as hell.”“I am not moody—”“Yeah, bro.” Kenji puts his utensils down. “You are moody. It’s always ‘Shut up, Kenji.’ ‘Go to sleep, Kenji.’ ‘No one wants to see you naked, Kenji.’ When I know for a fact that there are thousands of people who would love to see me naked—”

“Please—please get up—and lower your voice—”“Hell no.”“Why not?” I’m pleading now.“Because if I lower my voice, I won’t be able to hear myself speak. And that,” he says, “is my favorite part.”

“So, what—you just walk right past me? Don’t even say hello?” He clutches the socks to his chest. “I’m crushed. I saved us a table and everything.”I glance at him. Keep walking.He catches up. “I’m serious. Do you have any idea how awkward it is to wave at someone and have them ignore you? And then you’re just looking around like a jackass, trying to be all, ‘No, really, I swear, I know that girl’ and no one believes y—”

“Are you kidding?” I stop in the middle of the kitchen. Spin around. My face is pulled together in disbelief. “You’ve spoken to me maybe once in the two weeks I’ve been here. I hardly even notice you anymore.”“Okay, hold up,” he says, turning to block my path. “We both know there’s no way you haven’t noticed all of this” — he gestures to himself — “so if you’re trying to play games with me, I should let you know up front that it’s not going to work.”“What?” I frown. “What are you talking abou—”“You can’t play hard to get, kid.” He raises an eyebrow. “I can’t even touch you. Takes ‘hard to get’ to a whole new level, if you know what I mean.”“Oh my God,” I mouth, eyes closed, shaking my head. “You are insane.”He falls to his knees. “Insane for your sweet, sweet love!”

“Kenji is a walking paradox of Unflinchingly Serious Person and 12-Year-Old Boy Going Through Puberty all rolled into one.”

“You know, you have a really strange way of telling me you’re attracted to me.”

“Don't underestimate me.”

“We’re running out of time, he said.As if time were the kind of thing you could run out of, as if it were measured into bowls that were handed to us at birth and if we ate too much or too fast or right before jumping into the water then our time would be lost, wasted, already spent.But time is beyond our finite comprehension. It’s endless, it exists outside of us; we cannot run out of it or lose track of it or find a way to hold on to it. Time goes on even when we do not.”

“He's wrong he's so he's so wrong he's more wrong than an upside-down rainbow.”

“The sun is an arrogant thing, always leaving the world behind when it tires of us. The moon is a loyal companion.”

“All I know next are his arms, the desperate edge to his voice when he says my name, and I'm unraveling in his embrace, I'm frayed and falling apart and I'm making no effort to control the tremors in my bones and he's so hot his skin is so hot and I don't even know where I am anymore.”

“Time goes on even when we do not.”

“I want to be someone else somewhere else with something else to fill my mind.”

“I will give no one the satisfaction of my death.”

“I’m happy to have her close even if it hurts, even if it doesn’t make any sense.”

“These letters are all I have left.26 friends to tell my stories to.26 letters are all I need. I can stitch them together to create oceans and ecosystems. I can fit them together to form planets and solar systems. I can use letters to construct skyscrapers and metropolitan cities populated by people, places, things, and ideas that are more real to me than these 4 walls.I need nothing but letters to live. Without them I would not exist.Because these words I write down are the only proof I have that I’m still alive.”