Ted Scheu

“Fs Are "Fabulous" Hey, Mom and Dad! I got my grades!And you'll be thrilled to hearthe marks on our report cards are changed around this year. A bunch of kids were telling methis morning on the bus,that they had heard some teachers saythat Fs are "fabulous."And Ds are proudly given outfor work that's "dynamite."They're used to honor kids like me,whose brains are really bright.So C of course is super "cool"-I've got a few of those.I wish they could be Ds and Fs,but that's the way it goes.I'm pleased to see my teacher didn't give an A or B.I've worked too hard for one of those.Gosh, aren't you proud of me?I see you don't believe me.You think that I am lying?At least you will agree that I should get an A for trying!”

“I'm pretty sure my parents arepretending they are sick.I know because I taught them bothto do that little trick. You blow your nose and hold your headand claim your brain is breaking.And so, a pro like me would knowmy folks are clearly faking.A little thing I learned in schoolconvinced me I am right.My parents are supposed to meetmy principal tonight.”