Tim Hawkins
Since giving up his job as a grocery truck driver in 2002, Tim Hawkins has been forging the magical blend between two comedic ideals: A genuinely funny comedy show that caters to the entire family. Is it realistic? Hawkins believes so. With over 100 million views on YouTube, 120+ sold out shows every year, and a motley crew of 200K+ Facebook fans, Tim has started a gut-busting grassroots revolution of multi-generational proportions. But what's so special about this St. Louis native who is most notorious for his wretched cow impersonations?
Some would say it is his equally gifted and twisted approach to the medium. A self-taught guitarist, Hawkins will go note-for-note on everything from Skynyrd to Bon Jovi to Prince, while dishing out flawless vocal imitations of Bono, Jason Aldean, and John Mayer... all within mere minutes. His stand-up material is vigorous, well-timed, and honed to perfection. However, the connection he makes with his fans goes deeper than that: "If you can't laugh at yourself, laugh at other people."* It is this ability to show the brokenness of our human nature and simultaneously marvel in its hilarity which makes Tim such a unique artist.
With four munchkins of his own and a beautiful wife who is winning her battle with breast cancer, Hawkins develops new material daily by simply absorbing the world around him. The perils of marriage, parenting, and homeschooling may not exemplify the rock-star life, but they sure make for great comedy. And as Tim would tell you himself, "It's not like I have choice. Comedy is my only life skill."
“I could always make people around me laugh. It was more of a defense mechanism more than anything else, because I was a pretty shy guy.”
“Father, we come to You, Father, in the name of the Father, Father we come to You, Father, Father, just, just, Father, Father...' You don't talk to you friends like that. 'Ed, Ed, come over, Ed, Ed, Ed, you are, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, ooh, Ed, Ed, Ed' - he wouldn't be your friend anymore if you did that! Like, 'You keep saying Ed...my name's Joe!”
“We have our own language. Christianese... We don't say 'He's out of his mind,' no, we say 'That's our youth pastor.”
“Every town you go to, they tell you what's special about their town. What they're number one at... This guy comes up and says, 'D'you know that we're the home of the world's largest frying pan?''...Really! That is great 'cause I'm writin' a new book called Things I Don't Care About.”
“Do not siphon gas with your mouth.”
“You need to go sit on the pot.”