Tom Holt
Tom Holt (Thomas Charles Louis Holt) is a British novelist.
He was born in London, the son of novelist Hazel Holt, and was educated at Westminster School, Wadham College, Oxford, and The College of Law, London.
Holt's works include mythopoeic novels which parody or take as their theme various aspects of mythology, history or literature and develop them in new and often humorous ways. He has also produced a number of "straight" historical novels writing as Thomas Holt and fantasy novels writing as K.J. Parker.
“The fault was lying on its' back...”
Tom Holt
“After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives?”
Tom Holt
“When you're about to die, your whole life's supposed to flash before your eyes. When you fall in true love, on the other hand, what you see in the twinkling of an eye is your entire future.”
Tom Holt
“Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.”
Tom Holt
“The conscientious arsonist doesn't just set the building on fire; first he fills the fire extinguishers with petrol.”
Tom Holt
“Human beings can get used to virtually anything, given plenty of time and no choice in the matter whatsoever.”
Tom Holt
“. . . Birmingham City Council was playing third time lucky with the design of the city's celebrated Victoria Square . . .”
Tom Holt
“Mostly I sit at home in the evenings watching the box and hoping that one day I'll evolve into plankton.”
Tom Holt
“In his dream, George Stetchkin was in the dock at the Central Criminal Court, accused of the murder of nine million innocent brain cells. The usher was showing the jury the alleged murder weapon, an empty Bison Brand wodka bottle. Then the judge glared at him over the rims of his spectacles and sentenced him to the worst hangover of his life.”
Tom Holt
“Thanks anyway,' Vanderdecker repeated, and wandered off to have a stare at the sea. It was his equivalent to beating his head repeatedly against a wall.”
Tom Holt
“Just when you’ve squared up to the solemn realisation that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just to confuse you. - Emily Spitzer, The Better Mousetrap”
Tom Holt
“Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.”
Tom Holt
“Not only had he lost the only girl he'd ever loved, he'd lost her in duplicate, like some heartbroken but highly efficient civil servant.”
Tom Holt
“Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great Leg Pull. Apollo has the best claim, but a sizeable minority support Pluto, ex-God of the Dead, on the grounds that he has a really sick sense of humour.How would it be, suggested the unidentified god, if first we tell them all to love their neighbour, pack in the killing and thieving, and be nice to each other. Then we let them start burning heretics.”
Tom Holt