Tom Lehrer
Lehrer is a singer-songwriter who accompanied himself on the piano. He is best known for the songs that he recorded in the 1950s and 1960 (while also lecturing on mathematics at Harvard among other colleges). Many were satirical, such as "Fight Fiercely, Harvard," a suggested fight song for his alma mater. Some dealt with social issues of the day, such as "Pollution" and "I Wanna Go Back to Dixie" (a highly unflattering view of the South during Integration), while others were offbeat black humor ("Poisoning Pigeons in the Park").
“If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.”
Tom Lehrer
“All books can be indecent booksThough recent books are bolder,For filth, I'm glad to say, is inThe mind of the beholder.When correctly viewed,Everything is lewd.I could tell you things about Peter PanAnd the Wizard of Oz, there's a dirty old man...”
Tom Lehrer
“If after hearing my songs just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or perhaps to strike a loved one it will all have been worth the while.”
Tom Lehrer
“Bad weather always looks worse through a window.”
Tom Lehrer
“Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.”
Tom Lehrer
“I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!”
Tom Lehrer
“I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:Plagiarize!Plagiarize!Let no one else's work evade your eyes!Remember why the good Lord made your eyes!So don't shade your eyes,But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize -Only be sure always to call it please 'research'."[Lobachevsky]”
Tom Lehrer
“The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.”
Tom Lehrer
“I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.”
Tom Lehrer
“It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.”
Tom Lehrer
“On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.”
Tom Lehrer
“Life is like a sewer - you get out of it what you put into it.”
Tom Lehrer
“The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines...I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirize George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporize them. And that's not funny....OK, well, if I say that, I might get a shock laugh, but it's not really satire.”
Tom Lehrer