Val McDermid

“Sometimes, the only things that make you feel good are the same ones that worked when you were five. Yes, I slammed the door”

“Everybody's got the right to go to hell in the handcart of their choice.”

“You know it's a bad case when the only way you can catch up on your sleep is to get unconscious.”

“When all else fails, go for the ego.”

“The hardest thing about being a grown up is realizing there are no magic formulas to release the ones we love from pain. Maybe that's why I enjoy computer games so much; you get to be God.”

“I'm not into little boys till they're old enough to have their own credit card.”

“It's a piece of cake, being a lawyer or a doctor or a computer systems analyst or an accountant. Libraries are full of books telling you how to do it. The only textbooks for private eyes are on fiction shelves, and I don't remember ever reading one that told me how to interrogate an eight-year old without feeling like I was auditioning for the Gestapo.”

“If you want to last more than five minutes as a private investigator, you've got to have the instincts of a chameleon. Gumshoes that stand out in the crowd are as much use to the client as a chocolate chip pan.”

“If I didn't like her so much, I'd hate her.”

“That was the trouble with moving houses; no matter how carefully you packed the books, they never ended up on the new shelves in quite the right place.”

“He frowned as he struggled to remember. It was like watching an elephant crochet.”

“Time for the likeliest story since Mary told Joseph it was God’s.”