Valerie Z. Lewis

“And this song,” Doug said as the CD advanced to the next track, “Makes me think about how Stephen’s love completes my soul.” Rapid-fire drumming led into lyrics describing the satisfaction one felt when pointing a Glock at a filthy puta.”

“See, I thought gay sex would be all different and weird, but it was just like having sex with a woman, except way hotter. I guess you can't believe stuff you see on the Internet, because you know, the hot gay sex I had last night was totally awesome, and nobody like, put their entire hand in my butt." Doug stood and walked over to Stephen, who was shoving a bagel into a Ziploc bag. "Anyway, hold on, here he is," Doug said into the phone, and then held it out towards him. "It's your mom.”