Victor Borge

“Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.”

“Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.”

“(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?”

“One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.”

“I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.”

“(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?”

“I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.”

“I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.”

“The shortest distance between two people is a smile.”

“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”

“The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. ”

“He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.”

“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”