Victoria Scott

“Big surprise. You didn't dress up.""I came as Awesome Sauce," I say. "You probably wouldn't recognize it.”

“And the band—oh, sweet mercy—the band. They're like a cross between mini Justin Biebers and the Jonas Brothers, and the Halloween covers they're playing make my ears bleed.”

“Her quasi-smile blossoms. "I shouldn't be scared," she says, and it sounds like something between a statement and a question."You should be terrified," I say. Because I'm going to show you dance moves that'll have you begging for my shit.”

“I will protect this girl with everything I have, because if something happens to her, I will lose myself. I will cease to exist.And I will take everyone with me.”

“I love you, Charlie," I say. "I fucking love you so much.”

“I wake up feeling like I spent the last three days in a massage parlor. My muscles are relaxed, and I feel refreshed, like I could climb Mount Everest or build an ark or cure the world of minivans.”

“Oh, no. No.He's going back to her apartment in the middle of the day.He's going to try and... and...My stomach heaves. Hello, darkness, my old friend.”

“It's not strange seeing her now, even knowing the things I know. I thought maybe it would be, but it's not. To me, she's still just Charlie—lover of Skittles and bed bouncing and scandalous raccoons.”

“Apparently Big Guy has become the new Voldemort, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

“I have the confidence of a killer whale, but being shot down by these losers stings.”

“I turn around and see Taylor heading toward us. Over her shoulder I spot a guy's legs flailing in the air. Keg stand. Jealous.”

“Max is going through my overnight bag when I get back to Wink Hotel. My favorite part about this is that he doesn't stop when I walk in the room."Hey," he says. He pulls out my black Hugo Boss dress hirt, then holds it up to his nose and sniffs loudly."Dude. Stop." I pull the shirt from his hands and toss it on the bed."I just love your scent," he says in a chick voice."You and everyone else, my friend.”

“This morning, I'm relishing the perks of working for the Underworld. I press my foot down on the accelerator, and the deep rumble of my candy apple-red Escalade growls. My new baby girl has black leather, Bose surround sound, and twenty-two inch rimes. Match.com couldn't have created a happier couple.”

“Her soul is clear of any red seals, but that won't last long, ' cause Papa's come to play.”

“I throw my head back and laugh long and hard. Then I lean in and whisper in her ear, "You don't know who you're fucking with, princess. Ain't no one do bad like I do.”

“Though the kitchen's decor stinks, the smell of something wonderful pulls me away from Charlie's chattering. Bacon. Right there cooking on the stove. Yeah, I know. I'm dead. But I can still eat like a sumo wrestler. And if that deliciousness isn't on a plate in front of me within two minutes, I'm eating it straight from the pan.”

“All the way down the stairs and into the kitchen, Charlie yaps away. I nod and smile and smile and nod, and when she turns away, I form a gun with my hand, place it to my temple, and pull the trigger.”

“Every inch of the house is covered in flowers and lace and screams tacky. It's like Martha Stewart vomitted, and this is the crap that came out.”

“She may be an uggo, but that dress would turn anyone into a rock star.”

“The front door is painted a rich, bright red. The corners of my mouth curl into a smile. Have I mentioned my love affair with red? It's a beautiful, trusting relationship. Nothing coated in such a wondrous color could ever be bad.”

“At the end of the walkway is a cat. It struts with arrogance. You'd think it just won the Nobel Prize. But it didn't. Know why? Because it's a freakin' cat. In case you mossed the memo, I. Hate. Cats. I loathe them. They're built with creepy little teeth and finger blades. I don't know about you, but I'll pass on that freak show.”

“He reaches down and tugs his pant leg up. The gold cuff wrapped around his ankle is decorated with Smurf stickers. "One of the other collectors did this after I crashed last night. Can you believe that mess? I can't get the damn things off.”

“Max dances around in a circle with one leg pulled up, and people move away as if he's mentally unstable. He and I are the only collectors that like to remain visible to the living. The other four roll incognito. Max finishes his dance and brushes his shoulders off. "What the hell was that?" I ask."My new move," he says matter-of-factly.My fellow collector is six years older than me but acts like he's thirteen. We met a couple of years ago after he kicked the bucket and came onboard. He talks so fast, I have trouble understanding him sometimes. I like to think he was the World's Best Car Salesman before he croaked.”

“I spin around and see Max running toward me in a gray Armani shirt. "Dante. Oh, Dante. Seal me! Seal me so hard!" He grabs my hips and pumps his toward mine. "Oh, Dante! You're so hot when you seal souls!"I shove my idiot-of-a-best-friend off me and laugh.”

“No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is...beastly.”

“Staring at her, his reasons are lost to me.”

“I nod and smile and smile and nod, and when she turns away, I form a gun with my hand, place it to my temple, and pull the trigger. This girl is starved for attention. It's amazing to me when people are totally unaware of how bad they are at socializing.”

“She raises her hands and places them on either side of my face. My skin burns beneath her touch. 'I think you're beautiful.'I smile, thinking she's done. But she releases my face and places her palms on my chest, directly over my heart.'You're beautiful right here,' she says.I close my eyes, and the breath rushes from my lungs.'I see the good in you, Dante,' Charlie continues, her words rolling together off her tongue. 'Even if you don't, I do. You have a good heart. You know how I know?'I open my eyes. She's looking at me like nothing else in the world exists. Like the entire planet and all of mankind just vanished. She slowly wraps my hands inside her own as best she can and places them on her chest. 'Because I feel it here.' She taps our hands against her chest. 'I know you're good, Dante. Because I feel it inside of me.”

“My lips move against hers, and the kiss says everything I'd hoped to hear. It tells me she loves me, and that she's in this forever.”

“Because I see you. Even though you try so hard to hide, I see you, anyway.”

“Mr. Awkward rolls up between us, lights a cigarette, makes himself comfortable. It’s the same bastard who shows up after you’ve bumped uglies with a stranger.”

“As Charlie is leaving the house, she somehow trips on the threshold and nearly face-plants onto the ground. I roll my eyes. How is it possible out of all the people in this world, this is the soul I’ve come to collect?”

“People change when shit happens.”

“Speak up, Charlie,” I say. “If you have something to say, then say it out loud.”

“I wonder what it would feel like to laugh like that, with complete abandon.”

“Her wavy hair falls to mid-waist, and I think how she looks better this way. From the back.”

“You don’t know who you’re fucking with, princess. Ain’t no one do bad like I do.”

“Is this happening?” I’msurprised to hear my own voiceand decide right then and therethat I have a positively perfectMan Voice.”

“I glance in the mirror. Surprise,surprise—I look finger-lickin’delicious.”

“How can someone be cruelto this chick? It’s like picking afight with a chipmunk.”

“Dante, thisis Annabelle.”No. No way. That name isreserved for females with graceand elegance, not this girl. This girlis…beastly. “Annabelle,” I say.“It suits you.”

“My eyes widen atthe sight of her. This is the girlBoss Man is after? She looks like aporcelain doll…beat three timeswith an ugly stick.”

“You nasty, you nasty. Youmama said you nasty!”

“In this trunk," she says with a serious face, "is God's gift to women.""Chocolate?""No.""Midol?""What? No.""Tampons?""Stop guessing," she says.”

“Annabelle laughs. "Oh, so you think you're hot, do you?""Girl, I got swag for days.”

“I'll never understand the friendships Charlie has. Friendships where it doesn't take cash or hookups, or saying the right things to stay in the circle. No, Charlie's friendships are different. She tries to protect her people, and they in turn protect her. They accept each other's imperfections and support one another. My friends weren't like her friends, which makes me wonder if I ever had any at all.”

“There's the guy who trained me, you sexy son-of-a-bitch. I knew you could do this. I told the assistant, I said, 'Do you even know who you're dealing with here? Pfft. Pfft.'""You definitely didn't say that.""Nope. I sure as hell didn't...”

“Things only get darker from here, doll. Might want to hold my hand for this.”