Whiskey Britches
Whiskey lacked
this is true
Just ask anyone
that he knew
Foot in mouth
wherever tread
and courage flown south
(Dread! Dread! Dread!)
Friend to none
seeking fewer
He saw life as
an infinite sewer
"Life is only full of sadness and pain!"
he often would exclaim
"But there is so much more!"
many did implore
Targeting the gutter
and there he did hit
His mother muttered
"Well, shit"
But he truly met his demise
in a devil with angel's eyes
Who quickly put him in his place
having only to wear black lace
Now pummeled in Hell
where he'll forever dwell
He often wonders why
his soul is condemned to eternally fry
After all
he thought he was such a good guy
“It comes and it goes, but mostly it goes.”
Whiskey Britches
“Ayn Volk, Ayn Reich, Ayn Rand!”
Whiskey Britches
“I don't want to win a trip to fucking Sandals!”
Whiskey Britches
“The spirits of your dead ancestors are watching you masturbate.”
Whiskey Britches
“I'm so bitter right now that if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse showed up I'd give them directions.”
Whiskey Britches
“Self-preservation is a biological imperative even in the lowest of life forms, but annoyance is a trait exclusive to the most deviant.”
Whiskey Britches
“I might be lying, but that did happen.”
Whiskey Britches