William Codpiece Thwackery

“Elizabeth was astounded, and immediately colored."Put down those damn crayons and look at me!" Darcy commanded.”

“I do not make love, Miss Bennet," he had told her."I bonk. I have it off. I get my end way, I rodger, I boff.”

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good riding crop must be in want of a pair of bare buttocks to trash.”

“Mr Bennet sat taciturn, staring at his magazine and waiting for the invention of television.”