Zane Stumpo

Zane Stumpo is the younger, more successful version of an old fart who refuses to face reality. It’s not obvious why he’s coy about his real identity, since he normally grabs any opportunity to leap up and down shouting ‘Look at me!’

The whiskery wrinkly version had a bizarre student lifestyle for many years. He did a degree in Architecture (failed), then English. He worked for a year in London as a trainee stockbroker, then did a postgraduate degree in Business Administration.

Following this he accidentally did a PhD in Operations Research which involved computer programming and developing new pure mathematical approaches to sub-gradient optimisation. (Or sub-gradient optimism, according to his mother.)

His mum then suggested he should apply for a summer job with the BBC while he was deciding what to do next. His plans came unstuck when he inadvertently went for a permanent post, so he spent some years working in radio. He would have left, but they tried to get rid of him, so he had to stay. After years of idleness and occasional showing off on the telly he set up his own independent TV production company. Over the years he’s spent more time looking for work than doing it, but on the rare occasions he bagged a commission he did at least get to visit remote and disreputable places.

He presented loads of programmes in America, which seemed like a good idea at the time.

He now makes short films in the forlorn hope that one day he’ll direct a movie. His company has one member of staff. That’s him.

He drew the pictures and designed the cover, although Zane said it was him. And he drew the animated trailer, and did the voice.

His doppelganger Zane Stumpo has all the experience and wisdom of the old git, but is many years younger and less frayed around the edges.