116 Humorous Inspirational Quotes

If laughter is the best medicine, then pairing it with a dash of wisdom surely creates an elixir for the soul. Whether you're navigating life's challenges or simply seeking a spark of joy, humorous inspirational quotes have a unique way of uplifting spirits while tickling funny bones. Discover our curated collection of the top 116 Humorous Inspirational Quotes that promise not only to inspire but also to bring a smile to your face. Dive in and let these witty words of wisdom brighten your day and lighten your load.

1. “God helps those who strut their stuff.” - Dan Sofer

2. “Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money.” - Ogden Nash

3. “Just think of what would have happened to poor old Naaman if he had decided to dunk himself only once?” - Lawana Blackwell

4. “I decided to irritate him, on the premise that it couldn't make my situation any worse.” - Jeff Somers

5. “For the first time in memory, I was unable to sleep not because I was anxious but because I was excited. To live in a damp crowded asshole and sing--if these guys don't know the secret to living, I don't know who does. (The Grieving Owl, page 157)” - David Sedaris

6. “Parents always make their worst mistakes with their oldest children. That's when parents know the least and care the most, so they're more likely to be wrong and also more likely to insist that they're right.” - Orson Scott Card

7. “The process of learning is a nonstop orgy of wonderment.” - Lev Grossman

8. “It is what it is.You are what you it.There are no mistakes."--Villa Incognito” - Tom Robbins

9. “Things Just Happen, What The Hell” - Terry Pratchett

10. “you can do it if you put your mind into it.” - Forgotten Realms

11. “Real mothers don't just listen with humble embarrassment to the elderly lady who offers unsolicited advice in the checkout line when a child is throwing a tantrum. We take the child, dump him in the lady's cart, and say, "Great. Maybe you can do a better job."Real mothers know that it's okay to eat cold pizza for breakfast.Real mothers admit it is easier to fail at this job than to succeed.” - Jodi Picoult

12. “I told a doctor once, "Doc, if you want to know what's inside of me, put down the x-ray and pick up my novel!” - Gerard de Marigny

13. “We don't have to be defined by the things we did or didn't do in our past. Some people allow themselves to be controlled by regret. Maybe it's a regret, maybe it's not. It's merely something that happened. Get over it.” - Pittacus Lore

14. “When it came down to it, he just wasn't that engaged. You had to be engaged to be a vegetarian; you had to be engaged to sing "Both Sides Now" with your eyes closed; when it came down to it, you had to be engaged to be a mother.” - Nick Hornby

15. “I'll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that's probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” - Cassandra Duffy

16. “If someone wanted to have a grudge against me, or didn't agree with my lifestyle, the way I breathed, the space I took up on this planet, they had an open door to 'report' to the powers that be.” - Mark Alders

17. “Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.” - Paula Wall

18. “It's not how you look, it's how you feel in the dark” - Paula Wall

19. “History, of course, is never real. People either glorify it or horrify it. Or at the very least color it.” - Paula Wall

20. “Mister Dresden," he said. "And Miss Rodriguez, I believe. I didn't realize you were an art collector." "I am the foremost collector of velvet Elvii in the city of Chicago," I said at once. "Elvii?" Marcone inquired. "The plural could be Elvises, I guess," I said. "But if I say that too often, I start muttering to myself and calling things 'my precious,' so I usually go with the Latin plural.” - Jim Butcher

21. “A cause may be inconvenient, but it's magnificent. It's like champagne or high heels, and one must be prepared to suffer for it.” - Arnold Bennett

22. “Where there is a will to conquer a man, there is a way to conquer a man.” - Delilah Marvelle

23. “No one has ever seen a Brink's truck delivering money into a cemetery...so enjoy your life, while you still can!” - Timothy Pina

24. “More often than not, if a person is wearing a smile, there is a victim attached somewhere.” - Donald Gorman

25. “They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of fame is the loss of privacy.” - David Sedaris

26. “If I behave like a good boy and take my Prozac...then I won't be able to write anymore. I'll have Writer's block from not being able to communicate with the characters in my mind.” - Timothy Pina

27. “Give your brain a break and read a book.” - Jeff Lyon

28. “Bleeding is for those who suck enough to get injured.” - Duke Nukem

29. “The good news and the bad news are the same: No one cares!” - Dave Horowitz

30. “Only a genius can overlook the chaos” - Philosopher 'X'

31. “Actually it's this easy to explain: When your time's up...poof...your time is up!” - Timothy Pina

32. “Emotions are like muscles. Most of them go highly unattended, it's usually the weaker, undefined ones that cause injury to the rest, and there is most certainly memory response in play.” - Erica Goros

33. “I stressed out trying to figure out what I could say. I ate licorice. I stressed some more. I ate Dots. I stressed out even more-and wiped out a bag of Swedish Fish. And then I wrote.” - Maria Shriver

34. “Deambular no significa andar sin rumbo, sino andar con todos los rumbos.” - Enrique de Hériz

35. “Never trust a man with a penis.” - Darynda Jones

36. “Thank you very Much, I enjoyed myself” - Richard P. Feynman

37. “Dad, one of my first memories is of sharing my worry with you about the space shuttle poking holes in the atmosphere and letting out all of Earth's air.” - Brent Weeks

38. “When people tell me to go fly a kite I tell them to go dig a ditch. They say "why dig a ditch"? I say because I want to be closer to Heaven than you.” - Stanley Victor Paskavich

39. “I'll take a Cheezy Burger and a shake full of smiles to go.” - Stanley Victor Paskavich

40. “Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.” - Mindy Kaling

41. “Staying on the fence is safe ... until someone shoots you off!” - Steven Charles

42. “Please, God,' Ruth would pray, 'don't let me be competitive. Let me realize what a privilege it is to study. Let me remember that knowledge must be pursued for its own sake and please, please stop me wanting to beat Verena Plackett in the exams.'She prayed hard and she meant what she said. But God was busy that autumn as the International Brigade came back, defeated, from Spain, Hitler's bestialities increased, and sparrows everywhere continued to fall.” - Eva Ibbotson

43. “I am the Olympics.” - Dave Eggers

44. “If you don't want to cook, you should try throwing a dish.” - Kyung-Sook Shin

45. “Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers” - Eoin Colfer

46. “Parker fixated on the envelope's precise penmanship as she lifted it. Her grandmother rarely took the time to write her own name in the return address, let alone give it the aesthetic attention that this one so seemed to demand. Once, when Parker questioned her on this, her grandmother casually asserted that she "didn't quite believe in envelopes" as if this were a debatable concept like Socialism or wearing white after Labor Day.” - Abby Slovin

47. “They said you can't go to the moon. They said you can't put cheese inside a pizza crust, but NASA did it. They had to, because the cheese kept floating off in space.” - Stephen Colbert

48. “I realized I was officially a professional writer when all my plans began with "drink coffee" and ended with "take a nap.” - Cassandra Duffy

49. “You will die like a dog for no good reason.” - Ernest Hemingway

50. “The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget but a pessimist forgets to laugh.” - Tom Bodett

51. “...it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone else into the same ridiculous mould. It’s an artist’s right to rebel against the world’s stupidity.” - E.A. Bucchianeri

52. “... an artist should paint from the heart, and not always what people expect. Predictability often leads to the dullest work, in my opinion, and we have been bored stiff long enough I think.” - E.A. Bucchianeri

53. “Painting working!” - Elizabeth Gilbert

54. “Back off, Jack-I got four brothers protecting my ass,' and I just rode on by him” - Elizabeth Gilbert

55. “No matter where life takes me, you'll find me with a smile. Presumed to be happy, always laughing like a child. I never thought life could be this sweet! It's got me cheesing from cheek to cheek!” - Mac Miller

56. “Slaying dragons, melting witches, and banishing demons is all fun and games until someone loses a sidekick—then it’s personal. The bad guy isn’t just the “bad guy” anymore, he’s the BAD GUY!” - Michael J. Sullivan

57. “Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all.” - Joan Jett

58. “Said Buddha to the hot dog vendor, "make me one with everything.” - New York Magazine

59. “If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together.” - Michael P. Clutton

60. “I broke my arm in 3 places so I wont be going back to those places.” - Jim Rose

61. “A lot of men tend to want "models"I tell men, unless they look like a model themselves, they can't expect to land one.” - Trisha Ventker

62. “Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.” - Mark Twain

63. “You can spend a lot of time trying to figure out how men think, and you'll always be wrong. That's because they're so much simpler than we are. They don't think half the time. They just want what they want and then go for it.” - Kim Gatlin

64. “If the road to success was easy. everybody would be on it.” - David R. Franklyyn

65. “I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful.” - Mindy Kaling

66. “In an angry fit, my mother had called him an airhead, who couldn't find his brain even if it came knocking on his door.” - Jayde Scott

67. “I feel about John ['s gospel] like I feel about my wife; I love her very much, but I wouldn't claim to understand her.(Following Jesus, p. 27.)” - N. T. Wright

68. “I go on the presumption that everyone's full of shit until proven otherwise, and this usually serves me in good stead.” - Dennis Lehane

69. “don't drop the soap” - g m

70. “My life is interesting enough with out you adding drama, thank you very much. Now can you please leave?” - Bryan A. Fritz

71. “When you get kicked in the teeth, chew on it: don't bite back.” - KC Rhoads

72. “Watch it...people who keep things inside them develop all sorts of disease...all that emotional gunk's got to find an outlet. Angry people develop cysts; stubborn people get arthritis; resentful people die of cancer.” - Arlene J. Chai

73. “She’ll read your mind like nobody’s business.” - Jayde Scott

74. “No, you just keep polishing your fangs or whatever you guys do in there.” - Jayde Scott

75. “Do you want to know the world? Then look at it closely. Do you want to like it? Then look at it from afar.” - Ion Luca Caragiale

76. “You know as well as I do, damn you. Like it or not I seem to have grown a heart. I have absolutely no use for the damned thing, but there it sits, demanding Elinor. I can't live without her.” - Anne Stuart

77. “The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I’m kidding. But killing helps.” - Douglas Coupland

78. “My father quoted Shakespeare to me often and when I lay a book down with splayed pages he told me better to be cruel to animals, children even, but never so cruelly treat a book.” - Christine Wade

79. “Don't dream it, be it” - Dr Frank-N-Furter Rocky Horror Picture Show

80. “Friends are the support bras of life. We don't let each other down.” - Lisa Kleypas

81. “Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.” - Charles M. Schulz

82. “No one ever excused his way to success.” - Dave Del Dotto

83. “It doesn't matter if you have new parts, old parts or spare parts. You can shine no matter what your made of.” - Bigwell robots

84. “My favorite sport is female and my favorite food is beer.” - Glen Cook

85. “I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? "Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law.” - Chris Rock

86. “But there simply was no grey area for him. There was only black, white, and annoying.” - G.A. Aiken

87. “And Mom doesn't like anyone cutting her flowers, so I cut up her magazines instead. Do you like it?” - Ryan Loveless

88. “Give me chastity and constancy, but not yet." St. Augustine. "Amen" Odette” - Marie Clair

89. “Yeah, well, it's been a super fun week. And by 'super fun' I mean 'horrible and endless'.” - MaryJanice Davidson

90. “Everything is funny from some angle, I assure you it is. It's just a matter of where you're standing.” - Charlie Fletcher

91. “Kadehlerimizi tokuşturup rakılarımızı yudumladık. "Fezai Bey sevgilimin uzaylı olduğunu iddia ediyor," dedim. "Bütün kadınlar öyledir," dedi Kız Tevfik."Seninki hariç," dedi Tahtakafa. "Seninki, bildiğin orospu.""Uzaylı orospu olmaz diye bir kanun mu var?" şeklinde beklemediğim derecede sakin bir karşılık verdi Kız Tevfik, Bafra'nın dumanını efkârla üflerken. "Ne yapsın? Kader kurbanı işte.” - Alper Canıgüz

92. “Life is a great big canvas; throw all tje paint you can at it.” - Danny Kaye

93. “Life is just like the game of poker, you never know what cards you will get. Sitting against the people, you can either win with the king or live on a joker. Many times in life you are forced to play the blind bet, and achieve overwhelming success, with loads of cash in your pocket or you may reach disastrous conclusions, losing everything you have got.That’s the reason I love playing poker.” - Prerna Varma

94. “Your mind is just like a parachute ! if you don't open it, it won't work !” - Tom Evans

95. “Perhaps you're not crazy, but you're very creative.” - Ellen Sussman

96. “Even if you fall flat on your face, you're still moving forward.” - Victor Kiam

97. “If you can't impress them with your personality, baffle them with your bullsh**” - Grandpa

98. “I hadn’t gone to one dance in my entire high schoolcareer. I was six foot tall and a hundred and twentypounds. When I danced, I looked like a praying mantison fire.” - Justin Halpern

99. “You see, the journey of life is a wondrous thing. There are no maps, and no rest stops. You follow the signs as best you can, and suddenly you’re there. Wherever you are, that is.” - P.J. Bracegirdle

100. “...when we perfect 3-D copiers and they reproduce tissue, we'll have a million Marilyns walking around with no souls...” - John Geddes

101. “I must go down to the seas againto find where Iburied the hatchet with Yesterday.” - Janet Frame

102. “Don't judge a cat by its coat.” - Magdalena VandenBerg

103. “Let destiny change you,but never change your destiny,for what God has given you is the best” - Philosophical Library

104. “...once you've crawled into what's commonly thought of as the sordid underbelly of life, you realize it's all just different versions of normal.” - Josh Kilmer-Purcell

105. “Because you may be smart, but I’ve been smart longer” - John Green

106. “You'll never know what psychopathic heights you're capable of, just lying there on the sofa” - Josh Stern

107. “If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody” - Josh Stern

108. “Kids, don’t trust any radical under twenty-five. His cock tends to get in the way of his political vision” - Juan Antonio Butler

109. “In an Anglo-Saxon thriller, the villain is generally punished, and the strong silent man generally wins the weak babbling girl, but there is no governmental law in Western countries to ban a story that does not comply with a fond tradition, so that we always hope that the wicked but romantic fellow will escape scot-free and the good but dull chap will be finally snubbed by the moody heroine.” - Vladimir Nabokov

110. “Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something.” - Ryan North

111. “Everything was a test. Or a lesson. Or a punishment from which he was supposed to learn a lesson, on which he would be tested later, and punished if he hadn't learned it.” - Orson Scott Card

112. “Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: "I'm with you kid. Let's go.” - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

113. “People don't stop being bullies when they grow up. They just dress differently to fool you.” - Patti Digh

114. “Well, the plenty of fish in the sea thing is bullshit," I said. "The other fish are weird, smell funny, or hooked on someone else's fishing line.” - L.D. Davis

115. “How can you possibly do everything you want to do in life if you start doing a bunch of things twice?” - Lorii Myers

116. “When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.” - Louis C.K.