120 Funniest Quotes For Laughter

Laughter is timeless, a universal language that brings us together, lightens our hearts, and adds a spark of joy to everyday life. Whether you're facing a challenging day or simply looking to share a chuckle with friends, a clever quip or witty one-liner can turn your mood around in an instant. That's why we've put together a curated collection of the top 120 funniest quotes, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and bring a smile to your face. Dive into this treasure trove of humor and discover quotes that range from the charmingly absurd to the brilliantly sarcastic, each one a testament to the wonderful power of words.

1. “There's an old adage," he said, "translated from the ancient Coptic, that contains all the wisdom of the ages -- "Life is life and fun is fun, but it's all so quiet when the goldfish die.” - Beryl Markham

2. “Don't kill!...The fly is asking youTo save his lifeBy rubbing his hands together” - Issa Kobayashi

3. “You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.” - A.A. Miline

4. “My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.” - Terry Pratchett

5. “Bertie stared at his mother. She spoils things, he thought. All she ever does is spoil things. He had not started this conversation, and it was not his fault that they were now talking about Grey Owl. He sounded rather a nice man to Bertie. Any why should he not dress up in feathers and live in the forests if that was what he wanted to do? It was typical of his mother to try to spoil Grey Owl's fun. ” - Alexander McCall Smith

6. “We lusty bibliophiles know that reading, unlike just about anything else, is both good for you and loads of fun.” - Kevin Smokler

7. “I lurched away from the table after a few hours feeling like Elvis in Vegas - fat, drugged, and completely out of it.” - Anthony Bourdain

8. “Fun is not the same thing as fulfillment. ” - Tom Bissell

9. “That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year.""Why?" Isabelle said."So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means.” - Cassandra Clare

10. “I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.” - Eoin Colfer

11. “It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.Opal tapped this into her notepad.Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?” - Eoin Colfer

12. “Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.” - Eoin Colfer

13. “You don't have to make something that people call art. Living is an artistic activity, there is an art to getting through the day.” - Viggo Mortensen

14. “Encourage kids to enjoy running and play in athletics. Don't force them to run too much competition.” - Arthur Lydiard

15. “I don't want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it be if I just got everything I ever wanted just like that, and it didn't mean anything? What then?” - Neil Gaiman

16. “If I can't be remembered as one of the greatest authors, why not be remembered as the sexiest writer...” - Hans Lindor

17. “When he worked, he really worked. But when he played, he really PLAYED.” - Dr. Seuss

18. “I Twitter (or Facebook) therefore I am” - Jayce O'Neal

19. “One of us will just have to stay at the cottage to keep an eye on her.' [...]Let's see if Widow Hazel wouldn't take her in during the day, maybe teach her something useful -'No, remember when she learned how to knit? Now we're stuck wearing these dreadful hats.'Not so loud! She'll hear you.'In a lower voice one of the dwarfs said, 'H.A.T.S.'Apparently Snow White didn't know how to knit or to spell.” - Janette Rallison

20. “So was I once myself a swinger of birches.And so I dream of going back to be.” - Robert Frost

21. “Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.” - Woody Allen

22. “Keep your best wishes, close to your heart and watch what happens” - Tony DeLiso

23. “Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.” - Ambrose Bierce

24. “Food to eat and games to play.Tell me why, tell me why.Serve it out and eat it up.Have a try, have a try.” - Brian Jacques

25. “If there was no New Orleans, America would just be a bunch of free people dying of boredom." -Judy Deck in an e-mail sent to Chris Rose” - Chris Rose

26. “He was delighted to recognize his own human name on two of the papers; he always got an odd thrill out of reading it, as if he were two places at once.” - Robert A. Heinlein

27. “I choose to write because it's perfect for me. It's an escape, a place I can go to hide. It's a friend, when I feel out casted from everyone else. It's a journal, when the only story I can tell is my own. It's a book, when I need to be somewhere else. It's control, when I feel so out of control. It's healing, when everything seems pretty messed up.And it's fun, when life is just flat-out boring.” - Alysha Speer

28. “Just remember, we're all in this alone.” - Lily Tomlin

29. “I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny.” - Dr. Seuss

30. “He had quite liked the dwarfs. He often had no idea what they were talking about, but for a group of homicidal, class-obsessed small people, they were really rather good fun.” - John Connolly

31. “Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.” - Jim Benton

32. “There is never enough time for fun.” - Katherine Hannigan

33. “There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.” - Andrew Jackson

34. “They (mothers-in-law) never leave when they say they will. When my mother-in-law visits, the mice throw themselves at the cat, begging to be eaten.” - Lisa Kleypas

35. “Never ask while you are doing it if what you are doing is fun. Don't introduce even your most reliably witty acquaintance as someone who will set the table on a roar.” - Christopher Hitchens

36. “Getting there isn't half the fun, it's all the fun.” - Robert Townsend

37. “My idea of Heaven has nothing to do with fluffy clouds or angels. In my Heaven there's butter pecan ice cream and swimming pools and baseball games. The Brooklyn Dodgers always win, and I have the best seat in the house, right behind the Dodger's dugout. That's the only advantage that I can see about being dead: You get the best seat in the house.” - Jennifer Holm

38. “OK," Josh said evenly, "I've seen men made of mud, I guess I can accept spying rats. Do they talk?" he wondered aloud.Don't be ridiculous," Flamel snapped, "They're rats."Josh really didn't think it was a ridiculous suggestion.” - Michael Scott

39. “Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun.” - Mikhail Baryshnikov

40. “Smartass Disciple: Master, what is the secret recipe of your happiness?Master of Stupidity: If I tell you, there is nobody left to be made fun of.” - Toba Beta

41. “So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.” - George Carlin

42. “Smartass Disciple: Master, what do say about the truth itself ?Master of Stupidity: Like sex, no fun anymore if all is revealed.” - Toba Beta

43. “I love letters from little kids. Adults never proclaim themselves 'your #1 fan!” - Lauren Baratz-Logsted

44. “Who knew hitting my head and passing out would be so much fun?” - P.C. Cast

45. “Smartass Disciple : Master, why you keep telling about the truth? Nobody hears.Master of Stupidity : O Yea. They hear but don't listen. Anyway, no fun in silent.” - Toba Beta

46. “One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun.” - Jane Goodall

47. “Well, I’ve had my fun; I’ve had it, he thought, looking up at the swinging baskets of pale geraniums. And it was smashed to atoms—his fun, for it was half made up, as he knew very well; invented, this escapade with the girl; made up, as one makes up the better part of life, he thought—making onself up; making her up; creating an exquisite amusement, and something more. But odd it was, and quite true; all this one could never share—it smashed to atoms.” - Virginia Woolf

48. “Just me, my music, and the voices in my head.” - Christie Silvers

49. “There is no shortage of well-known pirates, including: Henry Morgan, Captain Kidd, Blackbeard, Blue beard, Yellowbeard, and Yellow beard with Black Roots, who surmised that, if blondes have more fun, then blond pirates must have a heck of a lot more fun.” - Cuthbert Soup

50. “Very well. He'd lighten up. As a matter of fact, he felt as light as the bubbly froth that flew from the lips of the waves. Whatever else his long, unprecedented life might have been, it had been fun. Fun! If others should find that appraisal shallow, frivolous, so be it. To him, it seemed now to largely have been some form of play. And he vowed that in the future he would strive to keep that sense of play more in mind, for he'd grown convinced that play--more than piety, more than charity or vigilance--was what allowed human beings to transcend evil.” - Tom Robbins

51. “Make the most of every moment. Get excited about every little thing. Why not? Why not have your wonderful moment of excited anticipation? Why not be happy NOW? This is my greatest challenge, but something I'm pouring my heart into: learning how to enjoy what I have, right here, right now. Every moment is precious and although sometimes I struggle to see it, I see it more and more every day.” - Bethenny Frankel

52. “Never work.” - Guy Debord

53. “If you feel suddenly so anxious for laugh, then it's too late to find ha-ha in dictionary.” - Toba Beta

54. “Are you a female dog?""What?" Massie asked. "Why?""Because you are acting like a real bitch!” - Lisi Harrison

55. “We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything, than when we are at play.” - Charles Schaefer

56. “We must eschew anything trivial. We must embrace all that is frivolous.... Trivial things take up all your time and dull your senses, whereas frivolity is meaningful, profound, worth living and dying for.... If we devote our lives to frivolity, the world will be a far, far better place. Humanity will be better able to fulfill its primary goal, that of having a good time.” - Cynthia Heimel

57. “You must master the vices. You know that if a thing is worth doing it's worth doing well. If, however, a thing is not worth doing then it's worth doing fabulously, amazingly, with grace, style and panache.” - Isla Dewar

58. “I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me.” - Tallulah Bankhead

59. “Rules should always be bent, if not broken. It's the only way to have any fun.” - Alyson Noel

60. “I didn't want to spent a lot of close time with someone who believed that fun is a bourgeois indulgence.” - Howard Zinn

61. “You've known him how long?" Malcolm asked. "Since he was a small boy. I firs noticed him when he slipped into Master Chubb's kitchen to steal some pies." "So, what did you have to say to Will when you caught him stealing these pies? "Oh, I didn't let on I was there. We rangers can be very unobtrusive when we choose. I remained out of sight and watched him. I thought he might have potential to be a ranger." Halt said. Horace joined in "Why?" Halt answered carefully. "Because he was excellent at moving from cover to cover. Chubb entered 3 times and never noticed him. So i thought that if he could acheive that with no training, he would make a good ranger." "No" Horace spoke. "Thats not what I meant. Why were you hiding in the kitchen in the first place?" "I told you. I was watching Will to see if he had the potential to be a ranger." "Thats not what you said. You said that was the first time you noticed Will." "Does it matter?" "Not really. Were you hiding from chub yourself and Will just turned up by coincidence?" "And why would I be hiding from master Chubb in his own kitchen?" "Well, there were freshly made pies on the windowsill, and you like pies, don't you?" "Are you acusing me of trying to steal those pies?!?!" "No, of course not. I just thought i'd give you the opportunity to confess." After a pause, Halt continued. "You know, Horace, you used to be a most agreeable young man. Whatever happened to you?" "I've spent to much time around you, I suppose." And Halt had to admit that was probably true.” - John Flanagan

62. “You don’t need a plan. You have the Puck with you, remember? I’m an expert at this. And I’ve never needed an elaborate plan to pull anything off.”...“Worry not, human,” the cat sighed, giving himself a thorough shake. “I am going with you as well. With Goodfellow’s exemplary planning, someone has to make sure you go through the right door.” - Julie Kagawa

63. “Wir sind alle ein bisschen gestorben in diesem Krieg, glaube ich. Wie meine Mutter immer gesagt hat. Krieg tötet alle, auch die, die ihn überleben.” - Hallgrímur Helgason

64. “Who are they?” I whispered, as we took seats opposite each other.Scout glanced up as she pulled notebooks and books from her bag. “The dragon ladies. They monitor lights-out, watch us while we study, and generally make sure that nothing fun occurs on their watch.”“Awesome,” I said, flipping open my trig book. “I’m a fun hater myself.” - Chloe Neill

65. “We will take a few moments and make fun of religious people, and we do this in love. No, we do, because we love to make fun of religious people.” - Mark Driscoll

66. “Drinking is such a necessity to human life that people cannot fathom an individual who, like a child confined to a church pew, gets little enjoyment out of it and would rather do other things.” - Criss Jami

67. “I’ll get you another red dress.”She wiped the backs of her hands over her cheeks at the snarl. “You will?”He glared down at her. “Yes. But you must not cry. I won’t get you any dresses if you cry.”“I don’t normally cry.”“You will never do it.”“Well, I’m afraid I may sometimes,” she said apologetically. “Women need to cry.”Lines formed between his brows. “How many times in a year?”“Maybe five or six,” she said, thinking about it. “But really, it’s usually a very small cry and not in front of anyoneAt that, his scowl grew even darker. “I will permit you to cry four times a year. And you will do it when I am here.” - Nalini Singh

68. “Tell me that the purpose of life is to have fun, and without a care in the world I'll begin wreaking havoc on everything I pass. Now that's what I call pure, honest fun.” - Criss Jami

69. “Its the actions one produces that will lead them toward the unknown.” - Steven Farmer

70. “What were you chanting when you gave me your blood?”“More of my vampire magic. I cast a healing spell to aid the powers of my blood.”She sniffled, her nose stuffy. “It was better than Vicodin.”“Vicodin?”“A painkiller from my world.”“A killer of pain. Did you love him?” The words were growled.A burst of unexpected humor gave her strength. “No. In fact, he was hard to shake. He, uh, stalked me, that kind of thing. I had to pretend he didn’texist.”Nicolai kissed her temple and relaxed against her.” - Gena Showalter

71. “If you don’t laugh reading this book I’ll eat my pocket protector. Wait, did I just admit I had a pocket protector?” - Nicole Fende

72. “Thinking over this thought, this whole thinking makes no sense.” - Janosch

73. “And the sun and the moon sometimes argue over who will tuck me in at night. If you think I am having more fun than anyone on this planet, you are absolutely correct.” - Hafiz

74. “Lying is the most fun a woman can have without taking her clothes off.” - Natalie Portman

75. “They need to practice harder," he said. 'If they're really going to do this, they need to work much harder.''They will," I assured him. 'But they got better, right?'Baz laughed. 'Are you going to stand in front of them during their gigs too? If so, make sure you get equal billing. People will pay a lot to see the girl with the broom.” - Antony John

76. “Having their feelings make sense is how people get their kicks.” - Mark Vonnegut

77. “— Так повернитесь же скорее и расскажите мне все о себе!— Простите, — тихонько закурлыкал Корин, стараясь не рассмеяться. — Но я, кажется, немного застрял.— Вы не сочтете меня излишне фамильярной, если я слегка потяну вас за хвост?— Нет-нет, ни в коем случае! Буду вам очень признателен.— Я попытаюсь сделать это очень осторожно, чтобы не потянуть ваши хвостовые перья.— Не беспокойтесь, пожалуйста. Часть перьев все равно вот-вот выпадет при линьке.— Вы исключительно вежливы и любезны, друг мой.” - Kathryn Lasky

78. “You don't have to lie to me to be nice, Jake. You can just say, 'Wow, your nails look crappy.'" I did my best boy voice."Well, I will tell you that's a crappy imitation of my voice." He smiled so wide I could see his eyetooth from across the table. "But you've got to know you're totally hot, chipped nails and all." He burned beet red all the way to the roots of his hair. "Man, you get me to say some embarrassing stuff, Brenna." He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck."Hey, don't blame me when you feel moved to make strange declarations.” - Liz Reinhardt

79. “This must be a simply enormous wardrobe!” - C.S. Lewis

80. “I can’t help but think that if she was going to kill herself, she might as well have done it earlier. Perhaps when I was a toddler. Or better yet, an infant. It certainly would have made my life easier. I asked my uncle Hugh (who is not really my uncle, but he is married to the stepsister of my current mother’s brother’s wife and he lives quite closeand he’s a vicar) if I would be going to hell for such a thought. He said no, that frankly, it made a lot of sense to him. I do think I prefer his parish to my own.” - Julia Quinn

81. “An earthquake is such fun when it is over.” - George Orwell

82. “And what about us? Do you want a vampire boyfriend?" He laughed bitterly. "Because I forsee many romantic picnics in our future. You, drinking a virgin piña colada. Me, drinking the blood of a virgin.” - Cassandra Clare

83. “...we are taught to put fun and serious pursuits on a continuum as opposed extremes, when this dichotomy is entirely false, made even worse when we act as though we can instantly exchange one for the other...Exerting yourself at a task that is serious and rewarding can still be quite fun, but doing something fun because you have a neurotic need to pack your life full of un is pretty much a guarantee that any long-term benefits you derive will be entirely happenstance.” - Anthony D. Ravenscroft

84. “If there was ever a more perfect day in the history of time it isn't one I've heard about.” - Meg Rosoff

85. “We had some good times at school. I didn't know how good those times was till I left, but I guess that's the way of it” - Ron Rash

86. “This is what fun is like," said Rain, almost to herself.” - Gregory Maguire

87. “Simon snorted. "If you ever meet the man who could take advantage of Isabelle, you'll have to let me know. I'd like to shake his hand. Or run away from him very fast, I'm not sure which.” - Cassandra Clare

88. “A real girl isn't perfect and a perfect girl isn't real.” - Harry Styles

89. “It was pretty much the male code not to let your friends have too much fun if there was any chance you could throw a wrench in their good times.” - Susan Andersen

90. “Please, please be some sex-starved nutcase who wants to kidnap me and make me your love slave, I begged silently.” - Cate Tiernan

91. “I did not believe that a Cause which stood for a beautiful ideal, for anarchism, for release and freedom from convention and prejudice, should demand the denial of life and joy. I insisted that our Cause could not expect me to become a nun and that the movement would not be turned into a cloister. If it meant that, I did not want it.” - Emma Goldman

92. “People who read always have something interesting to say.” - Lisa April Smith

93. “Schwester Marie–Claire hatte in ihrem Ethikunterricht stets behauptet, es käme gar nicht darauf an, dass die Menschen an den Teufel glaubten, denn es reiche schon aus, dass der Teufel gute Gründe hätte an die Menschen zu glauben, um sicherstellen zu können, dass das Böse in der Welt weiterhin über das Gute triumphierte.” - Emilia Polo

94. “Und der einzige logische Weg dieser Erpressung entgegen zu wirken, bestand nun mal darin, die Erpresser selbst zu erpressen.” - Emilia Polo

95. “It is more civilized to make fun of life than to bewail it.” - seneca

96. “Work is a blessing. God has so arranged the world that work is necessary, and He gives us hands and strength to do it. The enjoyment of leisure would be nothing if we had only leisure. It is the joy of work well done that enables us to enjoy rest, just as it is the experiences of hunger and thirst that make food and drink such pleasures.” - Elisabeth Elliot

97. “Hey Audrey,I am watching you de-clutter your house,do you need help?” - Toni Aleo

98. “All the kids with fancy shoes or clothes, do you know what I got with a family of nine? When ever we said let's play poker, we had a full team of adults right there.” - Julia Marriott

99. “You have a great deal of yourself on the line, writing— your vanity is at stake. You discover a tricky thing about fiction writing; a certain amount of vanity is necessary to be able to do it all, but any vanity above that certain amount is lethal.” - David Foster Wallace

100. “Love Rocks The De La Cruz's World” - P.T. Macias

101. “College is fun as long as you don't die.” - Tsugumi Ohba

102. “You don’t pack what you need; you pack what you think you will probably need, taking into account each and every possibility, and then add some more stuff…just in case.” - Jayde Scott

103. “Sometimes you just have to jump in a mud puddle because it's there. Never get so old that you forget about having fun.” - Tom Giaquinto

104. “- I'm so busy doing what I must do that I don't have time for what I ought to do... and I never get a chance to do what I want to do!- Son, that's universal. The way to keep that recipe from killing you is occasionally to do what you want to do anyhow.” - Robert A. Heinlein

105. “You only get one go at it... might as well Rock it.” - Tommie Vaughn

106. “wash the brush, just beats the devil out of it ” - Bob Ross

107. “Flying might not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price.” - Amelia Earhart

108. “Kiss me twice, I am schizophrenic .. Kiss me ten times, I am obsessive!” - أحمد عمارة

109. “Fun is at the core of the way I like to do business and it has been key to everything I've done from the outset. More than any other element, fun is the secret of Virgin's success. I am aware that the ideas of business as being fun and creative goes right against the grain of convention, and it's certainly not how the they teach it at some of those business schools, where business means hard grind and lots of 'discounted cash flows' and net' present values'.” - Richard Branson

110. “How in hell did those bombers get up there every single second of our lives! Why doesn't someone want to talk about it! We've started and won two atomic wars since 2022! Is it because we're having so much fun at home we've forgotten the world? Is it because we're so rich and the rest of the world's so poor and we just don't care if they are? I've heard rumors; the world is starving, but we're well fed. Is it true, the world works hard and we play? Is that why we're hated so much? I've heard the rumors about hate too, once in a long while, over the years. Do you know why? I don't, that's sure! Maybe the books can get us half out of the cave. They just might stop us from making the same damn insane mistakes!” - Ray Bradbury

111. “All round there was a rising tide of beer, widow Désir's barrels had all been broached, beer had rounded all paunches and was overflowing in all directions, from noses, eyes - and elsewhere. People were so blown out and higgledy-piggledy, that everybody's elbows or knees were sticking into his neighbour and everybody thought it great fun to feel his neighbour's elbows. All mouths were grinning from ear to ear in continuous laughter.” - Émile Zola

112. “Those who rule the world get so little opportunity to run about and laugh and play in it.” - Stephen Fry

113. “Arrogance can be deadly.” The corners of his mouth crept up. “But you didn’t hear me say that.” - Becca Fitzpatrick

114. “If it pleases you and you can write at all, it's gonna please somebody else.” - Charlaine Harris

115. “They told me that nothing was a sin, just a poor life choice. Poor impulse control. That nothing is evil. Any concept of right versus wrong, according to them, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. They said that if anything should force us to modify our personal behavior it should be our allegiance to a social contract, not some vague, externally imposed threat of flaming punishment.” - Chuck Palahniuk

116. “Remember some books are meant to be tasted, some books are meant to be chewed and, finally, some books are meant to be swallowed whole.” - Robin Sharma

117. “Apollo. I’m the fucking Lord of the Underworld. Do you honestly think I need to get my jollies by lying to others? I can think of so many better things to do.” - Rosanna Leo

118. “A huge part of swimming for me is I love it, and it is so much fun.” - Missy Franklin

119. “The more you read within a balanced life, the more time you have. Strange but true.” - Mark O'Brien

120. “She tossed her towel on her dresser and turned to the bed where shed left her PJs. Only it wasn't just her PJs on the bed anymore. Lucas, eyes wide, sat on the foot of her bed, about four feet from where she stood completely naked. She squealed. He laughed. She dashed for the towel. Once she had it around her, she glared from a still grinning Lucas to the door. "I'm killing Della!" He laughed again. "I'm afraid I might have to protect her for this one.” - C.C. Hunter