Laughter truly is the best medicine, providing a joyful escape from the mundane hustle of everyday life. Whether you're starting your day or looking for a mid-afternoon pick-me-up, a sprinkle of humor can transform an ordinary moment into something memorable. Our carefully curated collection of the top 120 funny quotes is designed to tickle your funny bone and bring a smile to your face. From witty one-liners to clever observations about life's quirks, these quotes are perfect for anyone in need of a little light-hearted cheer. Let's dive into this treasure trove of humor that promises to brighten even the dullest of days.
1. “We were kissing.I thought: This is good.I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the history of the universe.Suddenly she laughed and pulled away from me. She wiggled a hand out of her sleeping bag and wiped her face. "You slobbered on my nose," she said, and laughed” - John Green
2. “This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.” - Charles M. Schulz
3. “But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?"Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons?” - Rachel Caine
4. “I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt
5. “Don’t put your wand there, boy!” roared Moody. “What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!” “Who d’you know who’s lost a buttock?” the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly. “Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!” growled Mad-Eye. “Elementary wand safety, nobody bothers about it anymore . . .” He stumped off toward the kitchen. “And I saw that,” he added irritably, as the woman rolled her eyes at the ceiling.” - J.K. Rowling
6. “Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information?” Bones asked, getting back to the subject. “You to take me,” she replied at once. “Not gonna happen!” I spat, squeezing him possessively. Three sets of widened eyes fixed on me. That’s when I realized that what I had a firm grip on was no longer his hand.” - Jeaniene Frost
7. “I had a tumor. But it was great.” - David Rakoff
8. “You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.” - Tommy Cooper
9. “Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend some up-close and personal time with ninety pounds of barbarian woman-flesh! Sorry, I don't know how much that is in kilos.” - Christopher Moore
10. “I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss.” - Stephen King
11. “His handsome face is suffused with rage. He stands before me shaking, then to my disgust, bursts into noisy tears; "I shall tell my mother of you!" he sobs and crashes out of the chamber” - Alison Weir
12. “Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright.” - Laurell K. Hamilton
13. “Surely my lord will not hide his beautiful white legs!" exclaimed Infadoos regretfully. But Good persisted, and once only did the Kukuana people get the chance of seeing his beautiful legs again. Good is a very modest man. Henceforward they had to satisfy their aesthetic longings with his one whisker, his transparent eye, and his movable teeth.” - H.Rider Haggard
14. “Save your explanations, I got some questions for you first and you'd better answer them!' [slurred Hellian.] 'With what?' [Banaschar] sneered. 'Explanations?' 'No. Answers. There's a difference-' 'Really? How? What difference?' 'Explanations are what people use when they need to lie. Y'can always tell those,'cause those don't explain nothing and then they look at you like they just cleared things up when really they did the opposite and they know it and you know it and they know you know and you know they know that you know and they know you and you know them and maybe you go out for a pitcher later but who picks up the tab? That's what I want to know.' 'Right, and answers?' 'Answers is what I get when I ask questions. Answers is when you got no choice. I ask, you tell. I ask again, you tell some more. Then I break your fingers, 'cause I don't like what you're telling me, because those answers don't explain nothing!” - Steven Erikson
15. “Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works.” - Sherman Alexie
16. “You'll blow up a helicopter, but you won't go out with me? What is wrong with you?” - Meg Cabot
17. “What is it about hairdressers? You tell them 'not too short' and some part of their hairdresser brain hears this as 'whack the shit out of it.' If you never say, 'not too short,' everything is fine. You say it, & it's a guarantee you'll come out ready for the military>” - Deb Caletti
18. “What's a wingding? Why, a wingding is, uh...it's just like a shindig but without all the hullabaloo.” - Cuthbert Soup
19. “The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.” - Mark Twain
20. “Colin : “Perhaps now is the time to tell you that I have a weakness for agreeable women.”Sugar Beth : “Well, that sure does leave me out.”Colin : “Exactly. With agreeable women, I’m unendingly considerate. Gallant even.”Sugar Beth : “But with tarts like me, the gloves are off, is that it?”Colin : “I wouldn’t exactly call you a tart. But then, I tend to be broad-minded.”She suppressed the urge to dump her porridge in his lap.” - Susan Elizabeth Phillips
21. “Vic knelt by Lucas's side. 'You look like crap, by the way.''Thanks for breaking it to me gently.' Lucas took a deep breath, then groaned.” - Claudia Gray
22. “The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, "I want to love, I want to live...” - David Sedaris
23. “Well Connor thought ruefully At least now I know who to thank for my anger issues.” - Justin Somper
24. “Who knew hitting my head and passing out would be so much fun?” - P.C. Cast
25. “He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said.” - Laurell K. Hamilton
26. “You've read half the books in this house? This whole house?" "Well, approximately half." Sticky said. "To be more accurate, I suppose I've read more like" - his eyes went up as he calculated - "three sevenths? Yes, three sevenths." "Only three sevenths?" said Kate, pretending to look disappointed. "And here I was prepared to be impressed.” - Trenton Lee Stewart
27. “I seem to be allergic to whatever that terrible smell is," said Gateman when the urge to sneeze had finally subsided."What terrible smell?""The air," said Gateman. "It smells...different.""That's called oxygen," said Professor Boxley. "Freh air. No cars, no buses, no factories; just pure, clean oxygen.” - Cuthbert Soup
28. “I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.” - Ellen DeGeneres
29. “People keep asking "Jacob or Edward?" when the really important question is "Diamond Dave or Sammy?” - Ysabeau S. Wilce
30. “Broken Wind believed that we are traumatized as babies by intestinal gas or colic. The great shaman invented a technique called "gastral projection" to help release these traumas. His philosophy was simple: "To air is human ... but to really cut one loose is divine.” - Swami Beyondananda
31. “Blackmailers never explain their thinking. They're like pirates that way. Dark-hearted, dangerous--- and cool like Johnny Depp.” - Janette Rallison
32. “The doctor seemed especially troubled by the fact of the robbery having been unexpected, and attempted in the night-time; as if it were the established custom of gentlemen in the housebreaking way to transact business at noon, and to make an appointment, by the twopenny post, a day or two previous.” - Charles Dickens
33. “If anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away.” - Seanan McGuire
34. “I only hope, for the sake of the rising male sex generally, that you may be found in as vulnerable and soft-hearted a mood by the first eligible young fellow who appeals to your compassion.” - Charles Dickens
35. “Weetzie could see him--it was a man, a little man in a turban, with a jewel in his nose, harem pants, and curly-toed slippers. "Lanky Lizards!" Weetzie exclaimed."Greetings," said the man in an odd voice, a rich, dark purr."Oh, shit!" Weetzie said."I beg your pardon? Is that your wish?” - Francesca Lia Block
36. “I scoured myself with lye soap from head to toe to get the evil funk of demon snot off me. I have flossed things the gods never meant to be flossed and used things that would be toxic to most living organisms. All to sanitize my body for your chewing pleasure.” - Sherrilyn Kenyon
37. “They arrived home again to a most peculiar sight. The small garden at the front of the Banana House had been transformed. A tidal wave of cushions, beanbags, quilts, hearth rugs, and sleeping bags appeared to have swept up the lawn and broken at the wall. From Indigo's window a multicolored rope of knotted bedsheets came snaking out and ended among the cushions. As Micheal and Caddy watched, a mattress emerged and fell to the ground, followed by a rain of pillows."Indigo!" shouted Caddy, jumping out of the car.Indigo's and Rose's heads appeared in the window above."It's all right, Caddy!" Indigo called cheerfully. "We've been doing it all the time you've been gone.""We keep finding more stuff to land on!" added Rose. "Look!” - Hilary McKay
38. “He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat.” - Adam Rex
39. “Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles.” - Bauvard
40. “Welcome to Telepathics Anonymous. Don’t bother introducing yourself.” - Bauvard
41. “If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. "We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!” - Ellen DeGeneres
42. “Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.” - Bauvard
43. “And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little fun. Perhaps a flatbed truck loaded with human cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek reunion. One can only dream and hope.” - George Carlin
44. “Oliver laughed - actually laughed."I like this new Claire," he said. "You should work her this hard all the time, Myrnin. She's interesting when she's forthright."Claire, possessed by the spirit of Eve, shot him the finger. Which made him laugh again, shake his head, and walk up the steps.” - Rachel Caine
45. “I see uncool people!” - Tonya Hurley
46. “Only love will attract love.”~ Amunhotep El Bey” - Amunhotep El Bey
47. “She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose. When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.''Share!' she demanded.'Man, you are one grabby girlfriend.'She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part. 'If you love me, you'll give me a taco.''Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?''Not for a taco,' she said. 'I'm not cheap.''They're brisket tacos.''Now you're talking.” - Rachel Caine
48. “I will receive it sir with all diligence of spirit. Put your bonnet to his right use, 'tis for the head.OSRIC I thank you lordship, it is very hot.HAMLET No believe me, 'tis very cold, the wind is northerly.OSRIC It is indifferent cold my lord, indeed.HAMLET But yet methinks it is very sultry and hot for my complexion.OSRIC Exceedingly my lord, it is very sultry, as 'twere - I cannot tell how. But my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that a has laid a great wager on your head. Sir, this is the matter -HAMLET I beseech you remember.(Hamlet moves him to put on his hat)” - William Shakespeare
49. “What kind of person doesn't let you have gummi bears?” - Libba Bray
50. “I love the world, just, you know...not the people in it.” - Hannah Vandegrift
51. “Can I buy you an ice cream beforeI take you home? I feel like it’s the least I can do after scaring your shirt off.” - Tamara Summers
52. “I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.” - Derek Landy
53. “...what was the good of being a movie werewolf? You howled at the moon; you couldn't remember what you did, and then somebody shot you.” - Anne Rice
54. “Tim and Raine are coming in.""Are they insane?""Apparently.” - Susan Bischoff
55. “I'm taller than my father, and taller than two of the stones at Ban Drochaid.""I meant in feet," she clarified. Speaking of the mundane gave her a measure of calm.He eyed his boots a moment and appeared to be doing some rapid calculations.” - Karen Marie Moning
56. “It would actually constitute more than a miracle, he realised. It would take divine intervention plus luck, plus some unknown element of cosmic wizardry.” - David Baldacci
57. “-What's so funny?""-Sorry," David said, reddening again. "You just taste so sweet.""-What do you mean, sweet?"He licked his bottom lip one more time."-You taste like honey.""-Honey?""-Yeah, I thought I was going nuts the day...well, you know, that one day. But it was the same today. Your mouth is really sweet."He paused for a second, then grinned."-Hot like honey-like nectar. That makes more sense.""-Great. Now I'm going to have to explain that to everyone I kiss for the rest of my life unless it's you or another faerie." She'd almost said Tamani's name. Her fingers flew to the ring around her neck.David shrugged."-Then don't kiss anyone except me.""-David...""-I'm just offering up the obvious solution," he said, hands up in protest.” - Aprilynne Pike
58. “Let's see if your right foot is as fearless as your mouth.” - Doug Solter
59. “Van was feeding Christian as we walked in the door. I shielded my hands in front of my face to prevent from seeing her bare breast. "God damn woman, put that tit away!""I'm feeding my daughter. You want another taste?"I started gagging immediately just thinking about how bad that shit tasted. "Hell no! I would rather eat dog shit.” - Jennifer Foor
60. “The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.” - Bauvard
61. “You named the chicken, Chicken?" She looked embarrassed. "When we decided not to kill it, I got attached.” - Tracey Garvis-Graves
62. “He was discovered with his feet stuck to the ceiling in the bathroom with his head stuffed in the toilet...” - Orson Scott Card
63. “It is meant to be survival of the fittest, not survival of the most floral.” - Stephen Herfst
64. “He'd given her the mother of all hangovers - a run-in with the wrath of grapes.” - Kresley Cole
65. “We were in the middle of a scene, and this crazy woman comes roaring out of the crowd, screaming, grabs my whip, and damned if she didn’t punch me.” Rubbing his reddened chin, the man’s lips curved a little. “It’s almost funny, but still, she ruined our scene.” - Cherise Sinclair
66. “It's because you aren't thinking very clearly tonight.""I know. Being Drunk is weird.""Oh my god. I love you so much. Especially when you say stuff like that.""Like what?""Nothing. Never mind. Although I'm dying to know why your shoe is green.” - Jessica Sorensen
67. “There are very few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosives.” - Darynda Jones
68. “I tilt my head and ask “What firsts have wealready passed?”“The easy ones,” he says. “First hug, first date, first fight, first time we slept together,although I wasn’t the one sleeping. Now we barely have any left. First kiss. First time tosleep together when we’re both actually awake. First marriage. First kid. We’re doneafter that. Our lives will become mundane and boring and I’ll have to divorce you andmarry a wife who’s twenty years younger than me so I can have a lot more firsts andyou’ll be stuck raising the kids.” He bring his hand to my cheek and smile at me. “So yousee, babe? I’m only doing this for your benefit. The longer I wait to kiss you, the longerit’ll be before I’m forced to leave you high and dry.” - Colleen Hoover
69. “Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph again!” - Diane Ackerman
70. “A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.” - James Patterson
71. “As he grinned, a dimple formed on his right cheek. My heart quivered. Men like him should come with a warning: date at your own risk” - Jayde Scott
72. “He looked just perfect to play Dorian Gray in a film version of Oscar Wilde's novel. Young, graceful, and indecently fresh and handsome, he could easily have worn a badge that said READY FOR DEBAUCHERY!” - Sergei Lukyanenko
73. “Wait, Richard Cheney, as in Dick Cheney? You're a vampire named Dick Cheney? Somehow, that makes you seem more evil.” - Molly Harper
74. “With the Book hitching rides, hiding on people, guess we’re all going to be dressing like skanks for a while, huh? Skintight or skin. Dude, everybody’s everything’s gonna be hanging out, and some o’ those fat chicks at the abbey are gonna gross my eyeballs right outta my head. Muffin tops and camel toes, gah!” - Karen Marie Moning
75. “Dude, could you please get off my girlfriend before I beat the crap out of you ? I don't want to injure her.” - Stacey Wallace Benefiel
76. “I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked.” - Molly Harper
77. “So his flunkies are what, pirates?” - Susie M. Hanley
78. “Dear Hope, I NEVER thought Id see the day when two of your daily e-mails sandwiched a message from none other than PAUL PARLIPIANO. My crush to end all crushes! Gay man of my dreams! OOOH!” - Megan McCafferty
79. “Divination is turning out to be much more trouble than I could have foreseen, never having studied the subject myself.” - J.K. Rowling
80. “Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.” - Lemony Snicket
81. “How much of my fever-induced dream was real? I felt safe assuming that my time as a bee was fiction, as well as a few mythological animals that I swear I'd seen. Then I'd lived on the sun with aliens.” - Cora Carmack
82. “It would be like a cleansing diet. The problem was, the only diet I'd ever been on backfired. Once I tried to go an entire month without chocolate. Not one bite. At the end of two weeks, I broke down and binged on more chocolate that I would have eaten in three months. I hoped my chocolate-free diet didn't foreshadow what would happen if I tried to avoid Patch.” - Becca Fitzpatrick
83. “I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way.” - Huntley Fitzpatrick
84. “... they only trusted the wisdom of people brighter and more worldly than themselves when it was expressed in the vocabulary and style of rural idiots. In his guise as Brazenydol, he had once had a contract with DARPA to teach a team of physicists the basic terminology of tractor pulls so that they could give an acceptable explanation of omniwavelength stealth to a Congressional committee that didn’t understand tractor pulls, either.” - john barnes
85. “Several months ago there was a somewhat, in some people's eyes, relatively normal Cal--or by and large normal--the best he was able to be as half Auphe. Occasionally he did lose his shit, attacked and ate deer while on road trips through the woods, created massive holes in between dimensions to shove through malevolently murderous pucks, and once in a while ripped out an Auphe's throat with his teeth. He also opened a gate or two to save his friends, blew up an antihealer from the inside out to save the world, cleaned his guns while watching porn, and generally was a smart-ass to everyone.Normal.” - Rob Thurman
86. “I forgot for a second that he was my ancestral enemy, and felt bad for him; then i consoled myself that bird poop brings good luck” - Rob Reger
87. “I'm a librarian in town,' she began. 'You sure about that?'The words popped out before he could stop them. Annabelle raised her eyebrows. 'Fairly. It's my job and so far no one has told me to go away when I show up for work.' smooth, Stryker, he thought, very smooth. 'I was expecting someone wearing glasses. You know. Because librarians read a lot.' The raised eyebrows turned into a frown. 'You need to get out of the barn more.” - Susan Mallery
88. “Yeah, really scary," agreed Zoe, struggling not to laugh. "Like Bambi with an Uzi.” - Joss Stirling
89. “Words to live by: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.” - Robin Glasser
90. “Of course I do, Jack! You have to beLIEve me!” - Raymond Benson
91. “A jealous woman does better Research than the FBI.” - Aetiyuel Williams
92. “That’s what love’s all about, Roxanne. Youlove someone, you trust them always to telyou the truth.” - Kristen Ashley
93. “Sweet Jesus! Sweet, sweet Jesus!” Mom called to the Savior, caught up in the divine intervention that was Hank and me.I narrowed my eyes at her. “Stop cal ing Jesus, Mom. Hank’s gonna think you’re weird,” I snapped.“She is weird,” Dad said.“I’m not weird,” Mom returned.” - Kristen Ashley
94. “Well, anyway, this'll be easier than knocking an elf out of a tree. Trust me.''How many elves have you knocked out of trees, Stubble?''Duraden's bones! Have ye never heard of a figure of speech?” - Ian Livingstone
95. “Innovation Big pain, no shame being same-to-same” - Praveen Kumar
96. “Shane, honey, in Morganville, friends are the only things that keep you alive.” - Rachel Caine
97. “But first I had to get through the ironing. It took a lot of patience. I had none. It took forever, and then I had to press the whole shirt again to get out the creases I’d pressed into it.” - Jennifer Echols
98. “We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.” - Sandra Chami Kassis
99. “Could he actually be a decent guy?Hard to imagine.He was pretty to look at, though, she thought. Boys weren't objectified nearly enough, and turnabout is always fair play.” - Daniel Marks
100. “He looked at her defiantly, and she thought: and so one at a time we all become human—human werewolves, human dwarfs, human trolls …the melting pot melts in one direction only, and so we make progress.” - Terry Pratchett
101. “Well, first you have to be very, very funny. I have realized that it is essential for a boy to be funny. Otherwise, what is the point in a boy?” - Jaclyn Moriarty
102. “Your mail could've waited." Daemon followed me into the kitchen. "What is it? Just books?"Grabbing the OJ from the fridge, I sighed. People who didn't heart books didn't understand.” - Jennifer L. Armentrout
103. “Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode.” - Don Roff
104. “Anna took his hand to gauge the swelling. 'Let's at least put something cold around it. Frozen peas work pretty well.''Do I have to eat them?''No, you just have to inject them into a vein,' Anna said.” - Antonia Michaelis
105. “We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow. ” - Dark Jar Tin Zoo
106. “A text pops up on the screen. It’s from Luis. I can’t help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.Luis: Hey” - Simone Elkeles
107. “I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. ” - Dark Jar Tin Zoo
108. “So you st that charge, and then put yourself right smack in the middle of the blast radius?" Brandt asked with what might have been open admiration. Remy nodded curtly. "Marry me," Brandt requested with unholy glee.Remy cracked a smile and Carl laughed softly at Brandt's side. Shawn and Nikolaus both sat motionless, staring at Remy disbelievingly. Thiago rolled his eyes and cleared is throat. Nothing Remy did surprised him now.” - Abigail Roux
109. “A million possible endearments ran through his head. But he said, “Help.” - Robyn Carr
110. “No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE” - Andy Ostrom
111. “Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy. ” - Dark Jar Tin Zoo
112. “Don't you want to know what cookies is a code word for?" "No! Good God, no!” - Jennifer L. Armentrout
113. “The reason faeries don't like iron is that it ties them too strongly to this world. The Paths aren't part of this world - you can't take iron there. It won't let you.'I frowned. "You do realize that makes no sense."'Unlike being able to open a door in the wall and take you to another hemisphere in a matter of minutes? How odd. Everything about Faerie is usually so rational.” - Kiersten White
114. “I don't care." - Bakura"I'm not going to kill you, just destroy you a little. Geez, talk about overreacting!" - Marik"So then he goes to me with the tea pot and he goes, 'Why so British?'." - Bakura"Now I can't that friggin song out of my head! Thanks Odion, thanks a bunch!" - Marik"Not a kitty!" - Bakura"Maybe we should hug him, Bakura. I mean he seems like an okay guy." - Marik” - Little Kuriboh Marik and Bakura
115. “What is it?”“Something with which to penetrate you.”“But you can penetrate me now. As often as you like.”“Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t explore other options.”“Hmm,” I said. “Soooo instead of diamonds or shoes, you got me a . . .” I stared at him, and waited for him to reveal the nature of his present.He grinned. “Buzz, buzz, Ellie Bee.” - Michele Bardsley
116. “Ladies and gentleman," he said over the speakers, "welcome aboard this recently liberated Gulfstream V. If I could have your attention for just a few moments, I'd like to go over the safety features of this aircraft. It has an engine, to make us go, and wings, to keep us in the air. There are seatbelts, which won't do you an awful lot of good if we fly into the side of a mountain.” - Derek Landy
117. “Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!" Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom” - Mark Buff
118. “You must be a blast on long car rides.”“Oh, I am. You haven't experienced fun until you try to fuck in the front seat of a Civic.” - Nenia Campbell
119. “While he sat there he decided he would buy a waterbed. He had always imagined owning a waterbed when he was successful, but now it struck him that getting the bed might invoke the man he wanted to become. You bought a waterbed and so became the sort of man who owned a waterbed.” - Lisa Moore
120. “ It’s a long shot, but this baby is pretty cool.” He pushed the button that brought up the menu. “I need to run a search.”“Of course, master,” the computer said with an inviting smile. “Which pornographic material should I seek out today?”Dante grinned. “Really? You can do that?” He felt Meg’s stare. “Nothing like that.” - Sophie Oak
