150 Simon Lewis Quotes

Simon Lewis, a beloved character from Cassandra Clare's *The Mortal Instruments* series, has captured the hearts of readers worldwide with his wit, bravery, and endearing personality. Whether you're a die-hard fan or new to the Shadowhunter universe, Simon's memorable lines offer a blend of humor, wisdom, and heartfelt moments that resonate deeply. In this collection, we dive into the top 150 Simon Lewis quotes that showcase his unique perspective and unwavering loyalty. Prepare to relive some of the most iconic scenes and perhaps even discover a new favorite quote along the way.

1. “So--what's it like, being a vampire?""Aline!" Isabelle looked appalled. "You can't just go around asking people what's it like to be a vampire!""I don't see why," Aline said. "He hasn't been a vampire that long, has he? So he must still remember what it was like being a person." She turned back to Simon. "Does blood taste like blood to you? Or does it taste like something else now, like orange juice or something? Because I would think the taste of blood would-""It tastes like chicken," Simon said, just to shut her up."Really?" Aline looked astonished."He's making fun of you, Aline," said Sebastain” - Cassandra Clare

2. “That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the childcatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” - Cassandra Clare

3. “Come on guys, you cant fight like this forever""Actually," Simon said, raising his hand,"I can".Jace made a weird noise and I realized he was trying not to laugh-which by the way, wasn't working.” - Cassandra Clare

4. “Maybe you should call him,' Simon suggested, trying not to think too hard about how weird it was to be giving a demon hunter advice about possibly dating a warlock.” - Cassandra Clare

5. “Magnus snapped his fingers again, menacingly. "Get up.""Or you'll be the next one to go up in smoke," said Simon with relish."There's no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself.” - Cassandra Clare

6. “People aren't born good or bad. Maybe they're born with tendencies either way, but it's the way you live your life that matters. And the people you know. Valentine was Hodge's friend, and I don't think Hodge really had anyone else in his life to challenge him or make him be a better person. If I'd had that life, I don't know how I would have turned out. But I didn't. I have my family. And I have you.” - Cassandra Clare

7. “Yeah, well, you clearly also couldn't be bothered to call me and tell me you were shacking up with some dyed-blond wanna-be goth you probably met at Pandemonium. After I spent the past three days wondering if you were dead.""I was not shacking up," Clary said, glad of the darkness as the blood rushed to her face."And my hair is naturally blond," said Jace. "Just for the record."Simon, Clary, and Jace, pg. 115” - Cassandra Clare

8. “I'm not sure you're quite sensible of the honor I'm doing you," Jace said. "you'll be the first mundane who has ever been inside the Institute." - Cassandra Clare

9. “All right. Are you going to come back? Do you want any soup?""No," said Jace."Do you think Hodge will want any soup?""No one wants any soup.""I want some soup," Simon said."No, you don't," said Jace. "You just want to sleep with Isabelle."Simon was appalled. "That is not true.""How flattering," Isabelle murmured into the soup, but she was smirking."Oh, yes it is," said Jace. "Go ahead and ask her—then she can turn you down and the rest of us can get on with our lives while you fester in miserable humiliation." He snapped his fingers. "Hurry up, mundie boy, we've got work to do.” - Cassandra Clare

10. “He's not in a very good mood," said Luke, pausing in front of a closed door. "I shut him up in Freaky Pete's office after he nearly killed half my pack with his bare hands. He wouldn't talk to me, so"—Luke shrugged—"I thought of you." He looked from Clary's baffled face to Simon's. "What?""I can't believe he came here," Clary said."I can't believe you know someone named Freaky Pete," said Simon."I know a lot of people," said Luke. "Not that Freaky Pete is strictly people, but I'm hardly one to talk.” - Cassandra Clare

11. “Thank you, Simon, I appreciate that." Luke opened the pizza box and, finding it empty, shut it with a sigh. "Though you did eat all the pizza.""I only had five slices," Simon protested, leaning his chair backward so it balanced precariously on its two back legs."How many slices did you think were in a pizza, dork?" Clary wanted to know."Less than five slices isn't a meal. It's a snack." Simon looked apprehensively at Luke. "Does this mean you're going to wolf out and eat me?""Certainly not." Luke rose to toss the pizza box into the trash. "You would be stringy and hard to digest.""But kosher," Simon pointed out cheerfully."I'll be sure to point any Jewish lycanthropes your way." Luke leaned his back against the sink.” - Cassandra Clare

12. “That seems like stealing, doesn't it?" Simon pulled a cup toward him. He drew the lid back. "Ooh. Mochaccino." He looked at Magnus. "Did you pay for these?""Sure," said Magnus, while Jace and Alec snickered. "I make dollar bills magically appear in their cash register.""Really?""No." Magnus popped the lid off his own coffee. "But you can pretend I did if it makes you feel better. So, first order of business is what?” - Cassandra Clare

13. “Magnus stood up and went to the window. He pushed the curtain back, letting in just enough light to silhouette his hawklike profile. "Blood," he said, half to himself. "I had a dream two nights ago. I saw a city all of blood, with towers made of bone, and blood ran in the streets like water."Simon slewed his eyes over to Jace. "Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?""No," said Jace, "sometimes he sits on the couch and does it.” - Cassandra Clare

14. “You're a Shadowhunter," he said. "You know how to deal with injuries." He slid his stele across the table toward her. "Use it.""No," Clary said, and pushed the stele back across the table at him.Jace slammed his hand down on the stele. "Clary—""She said she doesn't want it," said Simon. "Ha-ha.""Ha-ha?" Jace looked incredulous. "That's your comeback?"Alec, folding his phone, approached the table with a puzzled look. "What's going on?""We seem to be trapped in an episode of One Life to Waste," Magnus observed. "It's all very dull.” - Cassandra Clare

15. “Izzy," said Jace, as they neared the pond, and she jumped up and spun around. Her smile was dazzling."Jace!" She flew at him and hugged him. Now that was the way sisters were supposed to act, Clary thought. Not all stiff and weird and peculiar, but happy and loving. Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression."Are you all right?" Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing.""I'm fine." Clary abandoned the attempt."Are you sure? You looked sort of… contorted.” - Cassandra Clare

16. “Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Oh, for the Angel's sake. Look, if there's no other way of getting out of this, I'll kiss Simon. I've done it before, it wasn't that bad.""Thanks," said Simon. "That's very flattering.""Well, I'm not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I'd rather stay down here and rot.""Forever?" said Simon. "Forever's an awfully long time."Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don't you?"Simon threw up his hands in exasperation. "Of course not. But if—""I guess it's true what they say," observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches.""That's atheists, jackass," said Simon furiously. "There are no atheists in the trenches.” - Cassandra Clare

17. “Meliorn?” said Clary. “I’ve met you, haven’t I? You used to go out with Isabelle Lightwood.”Meliorn was almost expressionless, but Clary could have sworn he looked ever so slightly uncomfortable. Luke shook his head. “Clary, Meliorn is a knight of the Seelie Court. It’s very unlikely that he – ““He was totally dating Isabelle,” Simon said, “and she dumped him too. At least she said she was going to. Tough break, man.” - Cassandra Clare

18. “You’re here!” Isabelle danced up to them in delight, carrying a glass of fuchsia liquid, which she thrust at Clary. “Have some of this!”Clary squinted at it. “Is it going to turn me into a rodent?”“Where is the trust? I think it’s strawberry juice,” Isabelle said. “Anyways, it’s yummy. Jace?” She offered him the glass.“I am a man,” he told her, “and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone, woman, and bring me something brown.”“Brown?” Isabelle made a face.“Brown is a manly color,” said Jace, and yanked on a stray lock of Isabelle’s hair with his free hand. “In fact, look – Alec is wearing it.”Alec looked mournfully down at his sweater. “It was black,” he said. “But then it faded.”“You could dress it up with a sequined headband,” Magnus suggested, offering his boyfriend something blue and sparkly. “Just a thought.”“Resist the urge, Alec.” Simon was sitting on the edge of a low wall with Maia beside him, though she appeared to be deep in conversation with Aline. “You’ll look like Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu.”“There are worse things,” Magnus observed.” - Cassandra Clare

19. “That's why when major badasses greet each other in movies, they don't say anything, they just nod. The nod means, 'I' am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass,' but they don't say anything because they're Wolverine and Magneto and it would mess up their vibe to explain.” - Cassandra Clare

20. “She winced and covered her ears as Eric,onstage, wrestled with his microphone."Sorry about that, guys!" he yelled. "All right. I'm Eric, and this is my homeboy Matt on the drums. My first poem is called 'Untitled.'" He screwed up his face as if in pain, and wailed into the mike. "Come my faux juggernaut, my nefarious loins! Slather every protuberance with arid zeal!"Simon slid down in his seat. "Please don't tell anyone I know him."Clary giggled. "Who uses the word 'loins'?""Eric," Simon said grimly. "All his poems have loins in them."'Turgid is my torment!" Eric wailed. "Agony swells within!""You bet it does," Clary said.” - Cassandra Clare

21. “Well I'm not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I'd rather stay down here and rot.""Forever?" said Simon. "Forever is an awfully long time."Jace raised his eyebrows, "I knew it," he said, "you want to kiss me, don't you?"Simon threw his hands up in exasperation. "Of course not but if-""I guess it's true what they say," observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches.""That's atheists jackass," said Simon furiously. "There are no atheists in the trenches.” - Cassandra Clare

22. “If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know," Simon was getting fed up. "Look, did you actually ask me to come all the way uptown just so you could stare at me like I'm something in a petrie dish? Next time I'll send you a photo.""And I'll frame it and put it on my nightstand," Jace said, but he didn't sound as if his heart was in the sarcasm. "Look, I asked you here for a reason, not to stare at you. Much as I hate to admit it, vampire, we have something in common.""Totally awesome hair?" Simon suggested” - Cassandra Clare

23. “Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace."It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath.""As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome," said Simon."I knew we should have left you a rat.” - Cassandra Clare

24. “You know what the worst thing I can imagine is? Simon had said. Not trusting someone I love.” - Cassandra Clare

25. “You think she’ll be able to talk sense into him?” she asked. “His sister?”"If he listens to anyone, it would be her.”“That’s sweet,” said Maia. “That he loves his sister like that.”“Yeah,” Simon said. “It’s precious” - Cassandra Clare

26. “I think he’s handling it with grace. A lot of teenage boys would sulk, or lurk around under your window with a boom box.” - Cassandra Clare

27. “Bitten? You mean you're a-""A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister.” - Cassandra Clare

28. “We need to talk,” she said. “All of us. About what we‘re going to do now.”“I was going to watch Project Runway,” said Jace. “Its on next.”“No you‘re not,” said Magnus. He snapped his fingers and the TV went off, releasing a small puff of smoke as the picture died. “You need to deal with this.”“Suddenly you‘re interested in solving my problems?”“I‘m interested in getting my apartment back. I‘m tired of you cleaning all the time.” Magnus snapped his fingers again menacingly. “Get up.”“Or you‘ll be the next one to go up in smoke,” said Simon with relish.“There’s no need to clarify my snap,” said Magnus. “The implication was clear in the snap itself.” - Cassandra Clare

29. “Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway coat of soft green velvet, the color of moss. "I can't believe you did it!" she exclaimed. "How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?""Traded him for Alec," Clary said.Isabelle looked mildly alarmed. "Not permanently?""No," said Jace. "Just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back," he added thoughtfully. "In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy."Isabelle looked dubious. "Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out.""That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?" Simon inquired. "No, probably not.” - Cassandra Clare

30. “Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know.” - Cassandra Clare

31. “I wouldn't change it," Simon said. "I wouldn't give up loving you. Not for anything. You know what Raphael told me? That I didn't know how to be a good vampire, that vampires accept that they're dead. But as long as I remember what it was like to love you, I'll always feel like I'm alive.” - Cassandra Clare

32. “Look," Luke went on, "In all the years I've known him, there's always been exactly one place Simon wanted to be, and he's always fought like hell to make sure he got there and stayed there.""Where's that?""Wherever you were.” - Cassandra Clare

33. “Just take the weapon you hold in your hand and drive it through his heart," Valentine's voice was soft. "One simple motion. Nothing you haven't done before."Jace met his father's stare with a level gaze. "I saw Agramon," he said. "It had your face.""You saw Agramon?" The Soul-Sword glittered as Valentine moved toward his son. "And you lived?""I killed it.""You killed the Demon of Fear, but you won't kill a single vampire, not even at my order?"Jace stood watching Valentine without expression. "He's a vampire, that's true," he said. "But his name is Simon.” - Cassandra Clare

34. “The Angel blade burns you, just as God's name chokes you," said Valentine, his cool voice sharp as crystal. "They say that those who die upon its point will achieve the gates of heaven. In which case, revenant, I am doing you a favor." He lowered the blade so that the tip touched Simon's throat. Valentine's eyes were the color of black water and there was nothing in them: no anger, no compassion, not even any hate. They were empty as a hollowed-out grave. "Any last words?"Simon knew what he was supposed to say. Sh'ma Yisrael, adonai elohanu, adonai echod. Hear, oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One. He tried to speak the words, but a searing pain burned his throat. "Clary," he whispered instead.” - Cassandra Clare

35. “Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression."Are you all right?" Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing.” - Cassandra Clare

36. “You're not gay, are you?"Simon's greenish color deepened. "If I were, I would dress better.” - Cassandra Clare

37. “I don't have a reason to lie to you. Not now.' Jace's gaze remained steady. 'And quit baring your fangs at me. It's making me nervous.''Good,' Simon said. 'If you want to know why it's because you smell like blood.''It's my cologne. Eau de Recent Injury.' Jace raised his left hand. It was a glove of white bandages, stained across the knucles where blood had seeped through.” - Cassandra Clare

38. “One of the things he'd always loved about Clary was how easily caught up in her imagination she was, how easily she could wall herself away in illusory worlds of curses and princes and destiny and magic.” - Cassandra Clare

39. “He's my neophyte Downworlder to mock and boss around, not yours.” - Cassandra Clare

40. “I can't believe he took you to an actual resteraunt. I assumed his idea od a date would be making you watch him play World of Warcraft with his nerd friends.” - Cassandra Clare

41. “Kyle want to be a rockstar. I think hes working the one-name thing. Like Rihanna.""I have no idea what you're talking about.” - Cassandra Clare

42. “Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me? Vampire mojo strikes again.” - Cassandra Clare

43. “Jace perched on the windowsill and looked down at him. "You really don't get this bodyguard thing, do you?""I didn't even think you liked me all that much," said Simon. "Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?""I thought it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house a night and throw up in his mailbox.""I'm pretty sure that's not it” - Cassandra Clare

44. “I can keep a perfectly good eye on Simon, thank you. He's my neophyte Downworlder to mock and boss around, not yours.” - Cassandra Clare

45. “What's this?""That's a mango." Simon stared at Jace. Sometimes it really is like Shadowhunters were from an alien planet. "I don't think I've seen one of those that wasn't already cut up," Jace mused. "I like mangoes."Simon grabbed the mango and tossed it into the cart. "Great. What else do you like?"Jace pondered for a moment. "Tomato soup," he said finally."Tomato soup? You want tomato soup and a mango for dinner?"Jace shrugged. "I don't really care about food.” - Cassandra Clare

46. “So what was that all about?""I think," Jace said, "that she asked if she could touch my mango.""She said that?"Jace shrugged. "Yeah, then she gave me her number.” - Cassandra Clare

47. “Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?""I though it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house at night and throw up in his mailbox.” - Cassandra Clare

48. “I guess you're coming as my date now." Simon shoved the phone into his pocket. "I'm secure enough in my masculinity to accept that," said Jordan. "We better get you something nice to wear, though," he called as Simon headed back into his room. "I want you to look pretty.” - Cassandra Clare

49. “We can buy you one of those books they have for little kids 'Timmy Has Two Dads'. Except I don't think they have one called 'Timmy Has Two Dads and One of Them Was Evil'. That part you're just going to have to work through on your own.” - Cassandra Clare

50. “They think they're better than everyone else.""No," said Jace. "I think I'm better than everyone else. An opinion that has been backed up with ample evidence." Kyle looked at Simon. "Does he always talk like this?" "Yes.” - Cassandra Clare

51. “You could dress it up with a sequined headband,” Magnus suggested, offering his boyfriend something blue and sparkly. “Just a thought.” “Resist the urge, Alec.” Simon was sitting on the edge of a low wall with Maia beside him, though she appeared to be deep in conversation with Aline. “You’ll look like Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu.” “There are worse things,” Magnus observed.” - Cassandra Clare

52. “Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon's love life borderline hilarious.” - Cassandra Clare

53. “Hey," said Jace. who was sitting on an overturned speaker, looking at his cellphone, "do you want to see a photo of Alec and Magnus in Berlin?""Not really," said Simon. "Magnus is wearing lederhosen.""And yet, still no.” - Cassandra Clare

54. “You look lousy,' he said. Jace blinked. 'Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.''No I mean it. You don't look good.''This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn't deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that's no reason to-' 'I am not trying to insult you.' Simon snapped.” - Cassandra Clare

55. “Medium clever,” Simon acknowledged. “Like a cross between George Clooney in Ocean’s Eleven and those MythBusters guys, but, you know, better-looking.”“I’m always so glad I have no idea what you’re vacantly chattering about,” said Jace. “It fills me with a sense of peace and well-being.” - Cassandra Clare

56. “Simon looked from one of them to the other, and shook his head. “ When did you two get so buddy-buddy? Last night it was all, ‘I’m the most elite warrior!’ ‘ No, I’m the most elite warrior!’ And today you’re playing Halo and giving each other props for good ideas.” - Cassandra Clare

57. “Simon stepped between them. “I’m not going to let you fight with each other.”“And what are you going to do about it if . . . Oh.” Jace's gaze trailed up to Simon’s forehead, and he grinned reluctantly. “ So basically you’re threatening to turn me into something you can sprinkle on popcorn if I don’t do what you say?” - Cassandra Clare

58. “I care about you," Simon said. "I always cared about you.” - Cassandra Clare

59. “You know, when someone prefers their own brother over you, it isn't a confidence booster.” - Cassandra Clare

60. “You're a public menace. You shouldn't be allowed out on your own.” - Cassandra Clare

61. “All that running and getting nowhere, he thought. Story of my life.” - Cassandra Clare

62. “Oh, good. You're starting to talk about yourself in the third person. That's not a sign of impending megalomania or anything.” - Cassandra Clare

63. “They kind of look like evil lawn gnomes” - Cassandra Clare

64. “So you interrupted my date to make fun of me for still living with my parents. Couldn't you have done that on a night I didn't have a date? That's most nights, in case you're curious.” - Cassandra Clare

65. “That's right. Act like I rejected you. It's not like you tried to kill me or anything.” - Cassandra Clare

66. “Here's a hot tip: Most girls don't like being stalked.” - Cassandra Clare

67. “Do you have a lot of other profound thoughts like that? Blood is blood? A toaster is a toaster? A Gelatinous Cube is a Gelatinous Cube?” - Cassandra Clare

68. “Why are you always trying to get yourself killed?""It's my job.""It's a hazard of your job. At least for most Shadowhunters. For you it seems to be the purpose.” - Cassandra Clare

69. “He looks," Simon had once said to Isabelle, "like he's thinking about something deep and meaningful, but if you ask him what it is, he'll punch you in the face.” - Cassandra Clare

70. “He wondered if normalcy was something, like vision or silence, you didn't realize was precious until you lost it.” - Cassandra Clare

71. “Do you think it's possible to do something so bad, even if you didn't mean to do it, that you can never come back from it? That no one can forgive you?"Luke looked at him for a long, silent moment. Then he said, "Think of someone you love, Simon. Really love. Is there anything they could ever do that would mean you would stop loving them?” - Cassandra Clare

72. “Do you even really know how vampires are made?''Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much...” - Cassandra Clare

73. “Clearly,' said Luke, 'something's going on that I don't know about.'Simon looked over at him. 'Sometimes I think that's the motto of my life.” - Cassandra Clare

74. “I was following you.' - Jace'Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me? Vampire mojo strikes again.' - Simon” - Cassandra Clare

75. “Look, I asked you here for a reason. Much as I hate to admit it, vampire, we have something in common.""Totally awesome hair?" Simon suggested.” - Cassandra Clare

76. “But you've never drunk fresh blood. Have you?"Simon raised his eyebrows in response."Well, aside from mine, of course," Jace said. "And I'm sure my blood is fan-tastic.” - Cassandra Clare

77. “I'm glad you think this is funny.""You're not happy to see me, then?" Jace asked. "I have to say, I'm surprised. I've always been told my presence brightened up any room. One might think that went doubly for dank underground cells.” - Cassandra Clare

78. “The first morning Simon had been at Amatis's house, a grinning lycanthrope had showed up on the doorstep with a live cat for him. "Blood," he'd said, in a heavily accented voice. "For you. Fresh!"Simon had thanked the werewolf, waited from him to leave, and let the cat go, his expression faintly green."We'll you're going to have to get your blood from somewhere," said Luke, looking amused."I have a pet cat," Simon replied. "There's no way.” - Cassandra Clare

79. “You don't need to worry, though. He's not my type.""I don't think I've ever heard a girl say that before," said Simon. "I thought Jace was the kind of guy who was everyone's type.” - Cassandra Clare

80. “Well, not in this case. He reached into the Inquisitor and he twisted..." Clary shuddered. "There was a lot of blood.""Like a special bonus for you," Jace said to Simon.Simon ignored this.” - Cassandra Clare

81. “Simon?" she asked. "I have a stupid question.""What is it?""Did you sleep with Isabelle?"Simon made a choking sound. Clary swiveled slowly around to look at him."Are you okay?" she asked."I think so," he said, recovering his poise with apparent effort. "Are you serious?""Well, you were gone all night.” - Cassandra Clare

82. “But that's not what you said when she walked into the room," said Simon quietly. "You said, 'Why didn't you ever tell me I had a brother?'""I know." Clary yanked a blade of grass out of the dirt, worrying it between her fingers. "I guess I can't help thinking that if I'd known the truth, I wouldn't have met Jace the way I did. I wouldn't have fallen in love with him."Simon was silent for a moment. "I don't think I've ever heard you say that before.""That I love him?" She laughed, but it sounded dreary even to her ears. "Seems useless to pretend like I don't, at this point. Maybe it doesn't matter. I probably won't ever see him again, anyway.""He'll come back.""Maybe.""He'll come back," Simon said again. "For you.” - Cassandra Clare

83. “Maybe I can climb one of those," Simon said, eyeing the fat white pillars that held up the slanted roof of the Hall. Runes were carved on them in overlapping patterns, but otherwise there were no visible handholds. "Work off steam that way.""Oh, come on," Clary said. "You're a vampire, not Spider-Man."Simon's only response was to jog lightly up the steps to the base of a pillar. He eyed it thoughtfully for a moment before putting his hands to it and starting to climb. Clary watched him, open-mouthed, as his fingertips and feet found impossible holds on the ridged stone. "You are Spider-Man!" she exclaimed.” - Cassandra Clare

84. “Of course, everyone's going to freak out when you show up at school.""Freak out? Why?""Because you're so much hotter now than when you left." She shrugged. "It's true. Must be a vampire thing."Simon looked baffled. "I'm hotter now?""Sure you are. I mean, look at those two. They're both totally into you." She pointed to a few feet in front of them, where Isabelle and Maia had moved to walk side by side, their head bent together.Simon looked up ahead at the girls. Clary could almost swear he was blushing. "Are they? Sometimes they get together and whisper and stare at me. I have no idea what it's about.""Sure you don't." Clary grinned. "Poor you, you have two cute girls vying for your love. Your life is hard.” - Cassandra Clare

85. “You want a piece of all this fabulousness?" He gestured to himself. "Well, my best friend comes along with it. I wouldn't cut you out of my life, Clary, any more than I would cut off my right hand and give it to someone as a Valentine's Day gift.""Gross," said Clary. "Must you?"He grinned. "I must.” - Cassandra Clare

86. “Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex.""At least you know he's still available.” - Cassandra Clare

87. “Simon!”The voice was Clary’s. He would know it anywhere. He wondered if his mind was conjuring it up now, a sense memory of what he’d most loved during life to carry him through the process of death.“Simon, you stupid idiot! I’m over here! At the window!”Simon jumped to his feet. He doubted his mind would conjure that up.” - Cassandra Clare

88. “Meanwhile,” Simon added, “I wanted to tell you that lately I‘ve been cross-dressing. Also, I‘m sleeping with your mom. I thought you should know.” - Cassandra Clare

89. “What?” Simon looked alarmed. ”I‘m not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn’t a very attractive woman for her age.” - Cassandra Clare

90. “Where's Simon?" Clary interrupted.Isabelle wobbled. "He's a rat," she said darkly.Did he do something to you?" Alec was full of brotherly concern. "Did he touch you? If he tried anything-"No, Alec," Isabelle said irritably. "Not like that. He's a rat."She's drunk," said Jace, beginning to turn away in disgust.I'm not," Isabelle said indignantly. "Well, maybe a little, but that's not the point. The point is, Simon drank one of those blue drinks- I told him not to, but he didn't listen- and he turned into a rat.” - Cassandra Clare

91. “Is this Clarissa Fray?" The voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable.Clary twirled the phone cord nervously around her finger. "Yeees?""Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I"m afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-""SIMON!" Clary held the phone away from her ear as he cracked up laughing. "That is so not funny!""Sure it is. You just don't see the humor.""Jerk." Clary sighed, leaning up against the wall.” - Cassandra Clare

92. “The more you try to crush your true nature, the more it will control you. Be what you are. No one who really loves you will stop.” - Cassandra Clare

93. “Because', she said, 'your problems are not real problems. You're dating two beautiful girls at once. Think about it. That's like...having rock-star problems.''Having rock-star problems may be the closest I ever get to being an actual rock star.” - Cassandra Clare

94. “It doesnt hurt." "But my eyes do," said a coolly amused voice from the doorway. Jace. He had come in so quietly that even Simon hadn't heard him, he grinned as Isabelle pulled Simon's shirt down. "Molesting the vampire while he's too weak to fight back, Iz?" he asked. "I'm pretty sure that violates at least one of the Accords.” - Cassandra Clare

95. “He felt his heart, which no longer beat, contract, and he wondered if there was anything in the world as painful as not being able to protect the people you loved.” - Cassandra Clare

96. “One for sorrow, two for mirth, three for a wedding, four for a birth, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret that's never been told. ~ Simon” - Cassandra Clare

97. “We?" Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?""What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something," Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?""What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying.” - Cassandra Clare

98. “I was trying to make you jealous!" Simon screamed, right back. His hands were fisted at his sides. "You're so stupid, Clary. You're so stupid, can't you see anything?"She stared at him in bewilderment. What on earth did he mean? "Trying to make me jealous? Why would you try to do that?"She saw immediately that this was the worst thing she could have asked him."Because," he said, so bitterly that it shocked her, "I've been in love with you for ten years, so I thought it seemed like the time to find out whether you felt the same about me. Which, I guess you don't.” - Cassandra Clare

99. “You really want to know what else it was my mom said about you?" he asked.She shook her head.He didn't seem to notice. "She said you'd break my heart," he told her, and left.” - Cassandra Clare

100. “Maureen clapped her hands together. "Oh," she said in her elfin little voice. "It's pretty." "Pretty?" Simon looked quickly at the hunched shape on top of the concrete block. "Maureen, what the hell-” - Cassandra Clare

101. “I screwed her over. I didn't want to see her screwed over by someone else.” - Cassandra Clare

102. “Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?Jace: I was following you.Simon: Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me?” - Cassandra Clare

103. “Being sixteen forever sounded good until you really thought about it. Then it didn't seem like such a great prospect.” - Cassandra Clare

104. “She is fine. She hates us both but it really didn't sound like anything else was wrong” - Cassandra Clare

105. “It was Eric's voice not Simon's, on the recorded message. “Ladies, ladies ” he said. Though it was the millionth time she’d heard the recording, Clary couldn't help rolling her eyes. “If you've reached this message that means our boy Simon is out partying. But please don’t fight among yourselves. There’s always enough Simon to go around.” There was a muffled yell, some laughter, and then the long sound of the beep.” - Cassandra Clare

106. “Simon's band never actually produced any music. Mostly they sat around in Simon's living room, fighting about potential names and band logos. She sometimes wondered if any of them could actually play an instrument. 'What's on the table?' 'We're choosing between Sea Vegetable Conspiracy and Rock Solid Panda.' Clary shook her head. 'Those are both terrible.' 'Eric suggested Lawn Chair Crisis.' 'Maybe Eric should stick to gaming.' 'But then we'd have to find a new drummer.' 'Oh, is that what Eric does?...” - Cassandra Clare

107. “The nod means 'I am a badass, and I recognise that you too, are a badass.” - Cassandra Clare

108. “Simon looked at Jordan who was looking at Maia again. She had her back to them and was talking to Luke and Jocelyn, laughing, flinging her curly hair back. "Don't even think about it," Simon said, and got up. He pointed at Jordan. "You stay here.""And do what?""Whatever Praetor Lupas do in this situation. Meditate. Contemplate your Jedi powers. Whatever.” - Cassandra Clare

109. “Simon!" Clary shouted, and seized his arm. "What?" Simon looked alarmed."I'm not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn't a very attractive woman, for her age.” - Cassandra Clare

110. “The dark prince sat astride his black steed, his sable cape flowing behind him. A golden circlet bound his blond locks, his handsome face was cold with the rage of battle, and..."And his arm looked like an eggplant," Clary muttered to herself in exasperation.” - Cassandra Clare

111. “And what about us? Do you want a vampire boyfriend?" He laughed bitterly. "Because I forsee many romantic picnics in our future. You, drinking a virgin piña colada. Me, drinking the blood of a virgin.” - Cassandra Clare

112. “Simon snorted. "If you ever meet the man who could take advantage of Isabelle, you'll have to let me know. I'd like to shake his hand. Or run away from him very fast, I'm not sure which.” - Cassandra Clare

113. “She made an impatient noise. "By the Angel, you don't know anything about your kid, do you? Do you even really know how vampires are made?""Well, when a mommy vampire and a daddy vampire love each other very much ... ” - Cassandra Clare

114. “Jordan doesn't really care about the blood," Simon said now. "His whole thing is about me being comfortable with what I am. Get in touch with your inner vampire, blah, blah."Clary slid in next to him onto the bed and hugged a pillow. "Is your inner vampire different from your...outer vampire?""Definitely. He wants me to wear midriff-baring shirts and a fedora. I'm fighting it."Clary smiled faintly. "So your inner vampire is Magnus?” - Cassandra Clare

115. “There is that. I might have better luck telling him I’m in love with him. Jace thinks everyone’s in love with him anyway.”“But I,” said Clary, “actually am.” - Cassandra Clare

116. “Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is.""It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec. "You just said "Kiss the cook.""Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me.” - Cassandra Clare

117. “I've noticed the Fair Folk often say 'perhaps' when there is a truth they want to hide," Clary said. "It keeps you from having to give a straight answer.""Perhaps so," said the Queen with an amused smile."'Mayhap' is a good word too," Alec suggested."Also 'perchance,'" Izzy said."I see nothing wrong with 'maybe'," said Simon. "A little modern, but the gist of the idea comes across.” - Cassandra Clare

118. “What have you done to my cat?" Magnus demanded... "You drank his blood, didn't you? You said you weren't hungry!"Simon was indignant. "I did not drink his blood. He's fine!" He poked the Chairman in the stomach. The cat yawned. "Second, you asked me if I was hungry when you were ordering pizza, so I said no, because I can't eat pizza. I was being polite.""That doesn't get you the right to eat my cat.""Your cat is fine!" Simon reached to pick up the tabby, who jumped indignantly to his feet and stalked off the table. "See?""Whatever.” - Cassandra Clare

119. “I'll take Shadowhunter, then. Because from what I've experienced of vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended.” - Cassandra Clare

120. “Is your inner vampire different from your...outer vampire?''Definitely. He wants me to wear midriff-baring shirts and a fedora.''So your inner vampire is Magnus?” - Cassandra Clare

121. “I don't know who Azazel is," he said. "Isn't he the cat from The Smurfs?" He cast about , but Isabelle just looked up and rolled her eyes at him."Clary?" he thoughtHer voice came through, tinged with alarm. "What is it? What happened? Did my mom find out I'm gone?""Not yet," he thought back. "Is Azazel the cat from The Smurfs?" There was a long pause. "That's Azrael, Simon. And no more using the magic rings for Smurf questions.” - Cassandra Clare

122. “Is it really love to tell someone that if it came down to picking between them and every other life on the planet, you’d pick them? Is that — I don’t know, is that a moral sort of love at all?''Love isn’t moral or immoral,' said Clary. 'It just is.''I know,' Simon said. 'But the actions we take in the name of love, those are moral or immoral.” - Cassandra Clare

123. “I hope you told him you were bitten by a gay spider.” - Cassandra Clare

124. “I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?""You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't.""There goes my Saturday.” - Cassandra Clare

125. “Isabelle snorted, "All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon.""You noticed," said Simon. "I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual," added Magnus. "Please never say those words in front of my parents," said Alec.” - Cassandra Clare

126. “The door buzzer sounded again. The two boys exchanged a single look before both bolting down the narrow hallway to the door. Jordan got there first. He grabbed for the coatrack that stood by the door, ripped the coats off it, and flung the door wide, the rack held aboe his head like a javelin. On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?"Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful.""Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats.” - Cassandra Clare

127. “Simon turned to Jordan, who was lying down across the futon, his head propped against one of the woven throw pillows. "How much of that did you hear?""Enough to gather that we're going to a party tonight," said Jordan. "I heard about the Ironworks event. I'm not in the Garroway pack, so I wasn't invited.""I guess you're coming as my date now." Simon shoved the phone back into his pocket. "I'm secure enough in my masculinity to accept that," said Jordan. "We'd better get you something nice to wear, though," he called as Simon headed back into his room. "I want you to look pretty.” - Cassandra Clare

128. “So it's true what they say about warlocks, then?"Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. "What's true?""Alexander," said Magnus coldly, and Clary met Simon's eyes across the table. Hers were wide, green, and full of an expression that said Uh-oh. "You can't be rude to everyone who talks to me."Alec made a wide, sweeping gesture. "And why not? Cramping your style, am I? I mean, maybe you were hoping to flirt with werewolf boy here. He's pretty attractive, if you like the messy-haired, broad-shouldered, chiseled-good-looks type.""Hey, now," said Jordan mildly. Magnus put his head in his hands. "Or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways, Is there anything you aren't into?""Mermaids," said Magnus into his fingers. "They always smell like seaweed.""It's not funny," Alec said savagely, and kicking back his chair, he got up from the table and stalked off into the crowd.” - Cassandra Clare

129. “I have a feeling you're right, Sherwin.''Simon. My name is Simon.” - Cassandra Clare

130. “Magnus's eyes went back to Alec. They were gold-green, as unreadable as the eyes of the cat he held on his lap. "Not my favorite topic, Smedley.""Simon", said Simon. "If I'm going to die for you all, the least you could do is remember my name.” - Cassandra Clare

131. “Therefore you can never lose hope-hatikva-because if you keep hope alive, it will keep you alive.” - Cassandra Clare

132. “The warlock's gaze, on the flames, was remote and distant, as if he were looking back into the past. Simon couldn't help but remember what Magnus had said to him once, about living forever:Someday you and I will be the only two left.” - Cassandra Clare

133. “Too much of anything could destroy you, Simon thought. Too much darkness could kill, but too much light could blind.” - Cassandra Clare

134. “That's all true, but I'm not doing it."Raphael looked incredulous. "Why not?"The words exploded out of Simon. "Are you kidding me? Because you have never done one single thing for me in the entire time since I became a vampire. Instead you have done your level best to make my life miserable and then end it. So-if you want it in vampire language-it affords me great pleasure, my liege, to say to you now: Hell, no.” - Cassandra Clare

135. “With the whole Mark of Cain thing, does that mean if I accidentally kick you during the night, I get kicked in the shins seven times by an invisible force?” - Cassandra Clare

136. “I need a bodyguard."Simon eyed him. "Have you been watching The Bodyguard? Because I am not going to fall in love with you and carry you around in my burly arms.” - Cassandra Clare

137. “Does that mean you agree?"He groaned. "I think it means you crushed my spirit and beat me down.""Fantastic.” - Cassandra Clare

138. “Yech," said Simon."Don't 'yech' me. You're the one with the magical spit.” - Cassandra Clare

139. “With a sigh she reached into her pocket and drew out a small velvet bag, which upended on the table. Two gold rings fell out, landing with a soft clink. Simon looked at them puzzled. "You want to get married?” - Cassandra Clare

140. “Alec slid his hand from Jace's arm to his shoulder. Magnus cleared his throat. Alec dropped his hand. Simon grinned into his undrunk coffee.” - Cassandra Clare

141. “So, technically," Simon said, "even though Jace isn't actually related to you, you have kissed your brother.” - Cassandra Clare

142. “It's love, not the Battle of Thermopylae. You don't have to treat everything like it's a last stand.” - Cassandra Clare

143. “Isabelle waved a hand. "No need to worry, big brother. Nothing happened. Of course," she added as Alex's shoulders relaxed, "I was totally passed-out drunk, so he could really have done whatever he wanted and I wouldn't have woken up.""Oh, please," said Simon. "All I did was tell you the entire plot of Star Wars.""I don't think I remember that," said Isabelle, taking a cookie from the plate on the table."Oh, yeah? Who was Luke Skywalker's best childhood friend?""Biggs Darklighter," Isabelle said immediately, and then hit the table with the flat of her hand."That is so cheating!” - Cassandra Clare

144. “Grief makes you feel alone, but you're not. I know you don't believe in-in religion-the same way I do, but you can believe you're surrounded by people who love you, can't you?” - Cassandra Clare

145. “Simon had never noticed before, but she wore a silver ring on her right hand, with a partner of flames around the band of it, and a carved L in the center. It reminded him of the ring Clary wore around her neck, with its design of stars. "It's the Lightwood family ring," she said, noticing where his gaze was fixed. "Every family has an emblem. Ours is fire.” - Cassandra Clare

146. “I thought you were dead,” she went on. “I saw you fall down, and—I thought you were dead.” - Cassandra Clare

147. “It faded slowly, ebbing like the tide. He rolled onto his back, staring up, his head still aching. The black clouds were beginning to roll back, showing a widening strip of blue; the Angel was gone, the lake surging under the growing light as if the water were boiling.Simon began to sit up slowly, his eyes squinted painfully against the sun. He could see someone racing down the path from the farmhouse to the lake. Someone with long black hair, and a purple jacket that flew out behind her like wings. She hit the end of the path and leaped onto the lakeside, her boots kicking up puffs of sand behind her. She reached him and threw herself sand behind her. She reached him and threw herself down, wrapping her arms around him. “Simon,” she whispered.He could feel the strong, steady beat of Isabelle’s heart.“I thought you were dead,” she went on. “I saw you fall down, and—I thought you were dead.” Simon let her hold him, propping himself up on his hands. He realized he was listing like a ship with a hole in the side, and tried not to move. He was afraid that if he did, he would fall over. “I am dead.”“ I know,” Izzy snapped. “I mean more dead than usual.” - Cassandra Clare

148. “Simon grinned. "You've never heard of Dungeons and Dragons?""I've heard of dungeons," Jace said. "Also dragons. Although they're mostly extinct.” - Cassandra Clare

149. “I'd always hoped that when i said 'I Love You' to a girl, she'd say 'I Know' like Leia did to Han in Return Of The Jedi” - Cassandra Clare

150. “Jace: Back from you breakfast meeting, I see. I bet you thought you were very clever, sneaking off like that. Simon: Medium clever. Like a cross between George Clooney in Ocean's Eleven and those MythBusters guy, but, you know, better-looking. Jace: I'm always so glad I have no idea what you're vacantly chattering about. It fills me with a sense of peace and well-being.” - Cassandra Clare