31 Hilarious Banter Quotes

In the whirlwind of daily life, a sprinkle of humor can work wonders to uplift our spirits and spark joy. Whether it's the clever exchange between friends or the witty commentary that leaves us in stitches, banter holds a unique charm that has the power to connect us in laughter. This collection of the top 31 hilarious banter quotes is designed to do just that—bring a smile to your face and a chuckle to your day. From timeless classics to modern quips, these quotes capture the essence of lighthearted interaction, offering a delightful escape from the mundane. Prepare to dive into a world where words dance with cleverness and humor reigns supreme.

1. “I do not think you are in any danger of starving," Maximus said. "The surgeon said only two weeks ago that you are too fat.""The devil!" Berkley said indignantly, sitting up; and Maximus snorted in amusement at having provoked him.” - Naomi Novik

2. “Is not general incivility the very essence of love?” - Jane Austen

3. “Roarke: "I'll drop you."Eve: "No, better I catch a cab or take the underground. This guy sees me show up in a hot car with a fancy piece behind the wheel, he's not going to like me."Roarke: "You know how I love being referred. to as your fancy piece."Eve: "Sometimes you're my love muffin.He managed a strangled laugh.She could, at the oddest times, surprise him.” - J.D. Robb

4. “Remind me again-why do you hate me so much?"I don't hate you."Could've fooled me."She folded her cap of invisibility. "Look...we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals."Why?"She sighed. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift. My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her."They must really like olives."Oh, forget it."Now, if she'd invented pizza-that I could understand.” - Rick Riordan

5. “Does your ma know you're this silly?" she demanded tartly.He nodded, comically sad. "The few gray hairs she has on her head are my doing. But" — with an exaggerated change of mood — "I send her plenty of money, so she can pay to have them dyed!""I hope she beat you as a child," Onua grumbled.” - Tamora Pierce

6. “Sir,"she said,"you are no gentleman!"An apt observation,"he answered airily."And, you, Miss, are no lady.” - Margaret Mitchell

7. “[...]my memory is reasonably good—unlike yours, dear sir!”“Mine is erratic,” he said imperturbably. “I remember only what interests me.” - Georgette Heyer

8. “I was under the impression that I warned you that in London country ways will not do, Frederica!”“You did!” she retorted. “And although I can’t say that I paid much heed to your advice it so happens that I am accompanied today by my aunt!”“Who adds invisibility to her other accomplishments!” - Georgette Heyer

9. “I don't have a reason to lie to you. Not now.' Jace's gaze remained steady. 'And quit baring your fangs at me. It's making me nervous.''Good,' Simon said. 'If you want to know why it's because you smell like blood.''It's my cologne. Eau de Recent Injury.' Jace raised his left hand. It was a glove of white bandages, stained across the knucles where blood had seeped through.” - Cassandra Clare

10. “I want Alister's killer. I'm letting you work with me because you want to and because if I didn't, you'd just get in my way.""You're 'letting' me work with you because you're too bad tempered to get information out of anybody on your own," she retorted. "I don't know why the lictors thought you might be useful to them. What do you do, stab prisoners with the sharp edge of your tongue until they beg for mercy?” - Dru Pagliassotti

11. “Icarus.""Hmm?""I don't have a hidden agenda. Nor do I intend to use you or mislead you with my charm."Despite herself, she smiled, glancing at him. His face was studiously neutral."The day you act charming, I'll know something is wrong.” - Dru Pagliassotti

12. “Huh? Oh you have a hidden agenda, do you?" She laughed. His straight-faced humor always surprised her. "You promised me you didn't.""There is nothing hidden about it," he replied. My objective is obvious. I've decided I'd rather have you describe me as 'sweet' than a 'slagging pain in the tailset.'""Really?""Well..." he looked up from the bag. "Maybe not in public.""I might be able to confine myself to saying it in private, if you gave me a reason." Taya met his eyes, and he blushed.” - Dru Pagliassotti

13. “Not going to walk me to the door?" I asked, pretending to be shocked at his lack of gallantry."Of course I am. many would think that a bonny lass such as yerself wouldst be able to stay out of trouble for a distance of fifteen feet, but I know better.""Did you just use the words yerself and wouldst in the same sentence? You can't be a pirate and a courtier at the same time, Dev. It just isn't done.” - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

14. “Come in. And try not to murder any of my guests." Jace edged into the doorway, sizing up Magnus with his eyes. "Even if one of them spills a drink on my new shoes?""Even then.” - Cassandra Clare

15. “Come work for me, and I’ll tell you.”My eyes went to his. “You are a thief, a cheat, a murderer, and a not-nice man,” I said calmly. “I don’t like you.”He shrugged, the motion making him look utterly harmless. “I’m not a thief,” he said. “And I don’t mind manipulating you into working for me when I need it.” He smiled, showing me perfect teeth. “I enjoy it, actually.” - Kim Harrison

16. “Let me guess,” Eli said, his voice that low, even timbre, as always. “Drinking from kegs also falls under outdoor activity.”I just looked at him, standing there in jeans and the same blue hoodie he’d had on the first time I met him. Maybe it was the embarrassment, which had been bad enough before I had an audience, but I was instantly annoyed. I said, “Are we outside?”He glanced round, as if needing to confirm this. “Nope.”“Then no.” I turned my attention back to the keg.” - Sarah Dessen

17. “We?" Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?""What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something," Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?""What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying.” - Cassandra Clare

18. “Watching him, his hands buried in his pockets—to keep from circling her neck she supposed—she couldn't help but marvel at the curious mix of Southern courtesy and male arrogance, the natural assumption he shouldered of being lawfully in control. "Engaging in a moral battle isn't always hazardous to one's health, you know.""Doesn't look like it's doing wonders for yours.""Saints be praised, it can actually be rewarding."Looking over his shoulder, he halted in the middle of the room. "Irish.""I beg your pardon?""You. Irish. The green eyes, the tiny bit of red in your hair. Is Connor your real name?""Yes, why..." she said, stammering. Bloody hell. "Of course.""Liar."She felt the slow, hot roll of color cross her cheeks. "What could that possibly have to do with anything?""I don't know, but I have a feeling it means something. It's the first I've heard come out of that sassy mouth of yours that didn't sound like some damned speech." He tapped his head, starting to pace again. "What I wonder is, where are you in there?” - Tracy Sumner

19. “Travis: I didn’t know they made permanent makeup. I looked like a clown for a month.Connor: Yeah. They put a curse on me so that no matter what I wore, my clothes were two sizes too small and I felt like a geek.Travis: You are a geek.” - Rick Riordan

20. “Oh God, Oh God we’re all gonna die doesn’t really fit the definition of banter, now does it?” - Lilith Saintcrow

21. “Sure you are," Jack replied. He sashayed up next to me, and yes, it was a sashay, he was far too damn smug for his good looks. Damn me for getting all girly inside at the sight of him coming over to rescue my damsel in distress.Then he became the ultimate man.He picked up the flat spare, looked at it, and said "Yep, it's flat.""What are you, a rocket scientist in your spare time?""Only on the weekends.” - Candice Gilmer

22. “I'll be sure not to let anyone but you carry me in her arms." He turns and leaves the kitchen before I can figure out what to make of his comment. A sense of humor is one more thing I don't think angels should have. The fact that his sense of humor is corny makes it even more wrong.” - Susan Ee

23. “Are you a murderer?""That depends, are you one of those animal activist[s] that believe meat is murder?” - Tammy Blackwell

24. “I would love a sandwich,' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches.” - Seanan McGuire

25. “You died here," I said quietly."October -""I wasn't here, and the girl I'm supposed to be finding was, and you died ." I looked up at him, glaring through the tears in my eyes. I left my fingers balanced on the floor, letting his blood sing its song of pain and longing. Longing to live; refusal to let go of the world. Maybe that's what differentiates the Kings and Queens of Cats from the rest of Faerie. They have a cat's stubbornness and the power to back it up. So when death says, "Go," they just refuse.My heart hurt. My heart hurt so badly, and I was still trying to recover from Connor, and oh, Titania, I couldn't do this again. The thought startled me. I froze where I was, still glaring.Tybalt sighed. "I know." he hesitated before adding, "This is not the time, and this is not the place, and my nephew needs us. But I ask you to consider this. I got better. I will always get better." He hesitated again - possibly the first time I'd ever seen him pause more than once after he'd decided he was going to say something.Finally, he said, "Some of us, October, will not leave you.” - Seanan McGuire

26. “Get a grip. You're pricklier than a feral cat," he said, sitting up."Too bad for you, I'm not in heat," I said, calming down.” - Tiffany King

27. “Simon laughed heartily. “I’m afraid the rest of us have to find talents to get our women into bed. Of course once they’re there, I have other talents that keep them right where they are.”“Handcuffs hardly count,” Christian said offhandedly.“If you mean the ladies cuffing me to the bed so they can explore Hunt Island,” he said, rubbing his chest, “…then point taken. These hands are capable of making any female climax by the mere brush of a pinky across her bare breast.”“I must have gone to the wrong island,” I said with a private laugh.” - Dannika Dark

28. “Audience member: Living Room!Sara: Kitchen” - Sara Quin

29. “Forceful little thing, aren’t you?”“You have no idea. So we doing this or not?”Those lush lips twitched. “Let me get this straight. We’re going to the bathroom, and I’m going to fuck you, and you don’t even care to know my name?”“I’d actually prefer it if you’d keep your stupid mouth closed.” Oops. Her hatred was slipping out.“Well, well. You might just be my soul mate.” - Gena Showalter

30. “[Arthur to Merlin]I'm the Prince of Wales, and you're Welsh. I can do whatever I bloody well like to you.” - FayJay

31. “I have never been with an ugly woman!” he argues.“You’ve never been with one that can tie her own shoe laces either” - R.S. Burnett