32 Iconic Tv Show Quotes

Television has an uncanny ability to etch certain lines into our collective memory. From heartwarming sitcoms to gripping dramas, iconic TV show quotes have the power to instantly transport us back to some of our favorite scenes and characters. Whether they're deeply profound or deliciously witty, these quotes have shaped pop culture and continue to resonate with audiences across generations. Dive into our handpicked selection of the top 32 iconic TV show quotes that have left a lasting impact on the world of entertainment.

1. “Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office. The door opens, and the person holding the knob is asked to identify himself. The agent then says, "I'm going to ask you to come with me.” - David Sedaris

2. “Kill your television!” - Paul Thomas Anderson

3. “A lot of people say there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I don't think there's a fine line, I actually think there's a yawning gulf. You see some poor bugger scuffling up the road with balloons tied to his ears, he's not going home to invent a rocket, is he?” - Bill Bailey

4. “I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of bed, puts on her deep-sea divers’ boots, and stomps across my ceiling to megaphone the kids awake. The kids drop bags of cannonballs onto the floor, then, apparently dragging several sledgehammers each, stampede into the kitchen. They grab their chunks of baguette and go and sit in front of the TV, which is always showing a cartoon about people who do nothing but scream at each other and explode. Every minute, one of the kids cartwheels (while bouncing cannonballs) back into the kitchen for seconds, then returns (bringing with it a family of excitable kangaroos) to the TV. Meanwhile the toilet is flushed, on average, fifty times per drop of urine expelled. Finally, there is a ten-minute period of intensive yelling, and at 8:15 on the dot they all howl and crash their way out of the apartment to school.” (p.137)” - Stephen Clarke

5. “Then I go in the den and turn on Law & Order, since the only thing i can really count on in life is that whenever I turn on the TV, there will be a Law & Order episode.” - David Levithan

6. “Hermes's eyes twinkled. "Martha, may I have the first package, please?"Martha opened her mouth ... and kept opening it until it was as wide as my arm. She belched out a stainless steel canister-an old-fashioned lunch box thermos with a black plastic top. The sides of the thermos were enameled with red and yellow Ancient Greek scenes-a hero killing a lion; a hero lifting up Cerberus, the three-headed dog."That's Hercules," I said. "But how-""Never question a gift," Hermes chided. "This is a collector's item from Hercules Busts Heads. The first season.""Hercules Busts Heads?""Great show." Hermes sighed. "Back before Hephaestus-TV was all reality programming. Of course, the thermos would be worth much more if I had the whole lunch box-” - Rick Riordan

7. “Television, radio, and all the sources of amusement and information that surround us in our daily lives are also artificial props. They can give us the impression that our minds are active, because we are required to react to stimuli from the outside. But the power of those external stimuli to keep us going is limited. They are like drugs. We grow used to them, and we continuously need more and more of them. Eventually, they have little or no effect. Then, if we lack resources within ourselves, we cease to grow intellectually, morally, and spiritually. And we we cease to grow, we begin to die.” - Mortimer J. Adler

8. “I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.” - Craig Ferguson

9. “Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.” - Craig Ferguson

10. “At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.” - Craig Ferguson

11. “There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.” - Craig Ferguson

12. “Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know” - Craig Ferguson

13. “The average TV commercial of sixty seconds has one hundred and twenty half-second clips in it, or one-third of a second. We bombard people with sensation. That substitutes for thinking.” - Ray Bradbury

14. “All I wanted to do was go back inside to the library and read a book.I used to spend all my time reading books, or watching television. It was safe. Nobody ever was hurt or teased or looked stupid while reading books or watching television.” - Kathryn Magendie

15. “Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal, "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV?” - Bruce Coville

16. “Like the he-man movie stars who turn out to be queer . . . or the silent-film actors whose voices sound terrible recorded--the audience only wants a limited amount of honesty. [ellipses original]” - Chuck Palahniuk

17. “Its hard to stay up. Its been a long long dayAnd you've got the sandman at your door. But hang on, leave the TV on and lets do it anyway.Its ok. You can always sleep through work tomorrow. Ok?Hey, Hey, Tomorrow's just your future yesterday.Tell the clock on the wall, "Forget the wake up call."Cause the night's not nearly through.Wipe the sleep from your eyes. Give yourself a surprise.Let your worries wait another day.And if you stay too late at the bar,At least you made it out this far. So make up your mind and say, "Let's do it anyway!"Its OkYou can always sleep through work tomorrow, ok? Hey, Hey, Tomorrow's just your future yesterday. Life's too short to worry about the things that you can live withoutAnd I regret to say, the morning light is hours away.The world can be such a fright, But it belongs to us tonight.What's the point of going to bed?You look so lovely when your eyes are red.Tomorrow's just your future yesterday.” - Craig Ferguson

18. “Television is the soma of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World.” - Robert MacNeil

19. “No one wants to admit we're addicted to music. That's just not possible. No one's addicted to music and television and radio. We just need more of it, more channels, a larger screen, more volume. We can't bear to be without it, but no, nobody's addicted. We could turn it off anytime we wanted. I fit a window frame into a brick wall. With a little brush, the size for fingernail polish, I glue it. The window is the size of a fingernail. The glue smells like hair spray. The smell tastes like oranges and gasoline.” - Chuck Palahniuk

20. “some soap opera, you know, real people pretending to be fake people with made-up problems being watched by real people to forget their real problems.” - Chuck Palahniuk

21. “Because you don't learn anything unless you can find the patience to read. TV takes that away from you. It robs you from your mind.” - Markus Zusak

22. “Oscar was raised to believe that if he stayed in his room reading about made up worlds it meant he didn't appreciate the life he had, the possessions his parents had worked hard for, like the TV and the video and the newly turfed back garden.” - Benjamin Wood

23. “Get your associates as fast as you can and then get a bachelors.""I don't want that. I want to work in TV.""Trust me, Laura. You'd be happier if you were an accountant.” - Teresa Lo

24. “You should've thought of that before becoming a fireman.""Thought!" he said. "Was I given a choice? I was raised to think the best thing in the world is not to read. The best thing is television and radio and ball games and a home I can't afford and, Good Lord, now, only now I realize what I've done. My grandfather and father were firemen. Walking in my sleep I followed them.” - Ray Bradbury

25. “When I want to be reminded of stupidity, especially my own, I turn on the TV.” - Dejan Stojanovic

26. “I don't think my mum ever understood my love of Doctor Who. Surely her strongest memory would have been me, standing at the top of the stairs, crying about how the "jelly men" were going to get me? Sorry, Mum, for those sleepless nights, but it was with good reason they called it Terror of the Zygons.” - Steve Berry

27. “Television knows no night. It is perpetual day. TV embodies our fear of the dark, of night, of the other side of things.” - Jean Baudrillard

28. “He was looking for programs on which he might be allowed to appear. But it was too early in the evening for programs that allowed people with peculiar opinions to speak out. It was only a little after eight o'clock, so all the shows were about silliness or murder.” - Kurt Vonnegut

29. “I expect the audience to assume TV is stupid. I accept that it's my job to overcome it.” - Dan Harmon

30. “All [tv] shows are like cigarettes. You watch two, you have a higher chance of watching three. They're all addictive.” - Dan Harmon

31. “Jim: I want you to search every place in this hotel where a crate of dynamite could possibly be stored.Artie: Right. And if I find it?Jim: I'll arrange for someone to pour cold water over your face to revive you.Wild Wild West (TV) Season 2Night of the Infernal Machine” - Wild Wild West TV

32. “Usually I spare myself from the news, because if it’s not propaganda, then it’s one threat or another exaggerated to the point of absurdity, or it’s the tragedy of storm-quake-tsunami, of bigotry and oppression misnamed justice, of hatred passed off as righteousness and honor called dishonorable, all jammed in around advertisements in which a gecko sells insurance, a bear sells toilet tissue, a dog sells cars, a gorilla sells investment advisers, a tiger sells cereal, and an elephant sells a drug that will improve your lung capacity, as if no human being in America any longer believes any other human being, but trusts only the recommendations of animals.” - Dean Koontz