33 Humorous Quotes To Enjoy

Laughter truly is the best medicine. It lifts our spirits, brightens our days, and gives us a much-needed break from the stresses of daily life. Whether you're looking for a quick chuckle or a hearty laugh, a well-crafted humorous quote can do wonders. Dive into our carefully curated collection of the top 33 humorous quotes designed to tickle your funny bone and put a smile on your face. So sit back, relax, and get ready for a delightful dose of humor!

1. “There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.” - Dennis Miller

2. “Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels.” - Candace Bowen Early

3. “I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.” - Dennis Miller

4. “A “good friend” was well…. Like your teeth.You had a limited number of them to last you an entire lifetime.You could survive without them, but having them made life much more enjoyable.If you didn’t take good care of them, you could lose them forever.” - Rob Wood

5. “I just want you to know,' said the girl, coldly, 'that whoever you are and whatever you intend with me, I shall give you no aid of any kind, nor shall I assist you, and I shall do whatever is in my power to frustrate your plans and devices.' And then she added, with feeling, 'Idiot.” - Neil Gaiman

6. “Generally speaking, I try not to generalize.” - Addison C. Arthur

7. “We're all secretly idiots inside.” - -Sadiya

8. “To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German.” - Emperor Charles V

9. “Life plots elegantly.” - Alice Randall

10. “That's all you need? Easy. I love you.Okay? Want it louder?I love you. Spell it out schould I l-o-v-e y-o-u. Want it backwards You love I.” - William Goldman

11. “I haven't devoured a soul in...What month is this? March?” - Rick Riordan

12. “I'm not lazy. I'm just really gifted, only instead of being good at music or math I'm good at sleeping late.” - Elizabeth Jane Howard

13. “Pop music is like an auditory cup of coffee. It has no nutritional value but it gets you going.” - Jim Moorman

14. “Instead of hopping around like a wild in'jun on fire, try counting from 10 backwards while hopping on one foot".” - R. Alan Woods

15. “Stop crying. You're giving archangels everywhere a bad name.” - Becca Fitzpatrick

16. “Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty.” - Elizabeth Jane Howard

17. “[Showing the apartment to Tiziano ]MARLEEN WALKER: “Let me alert you that animals are banned in this building.”TIZIANO CONTI: “Am I breaking the law right now?” - Merce Cardus

18. “A massage is just like a movie, really relaxing and a total escape, except in a massage you're the star. And you don't miss anything by falling asleep!” - Elizabeth Jane Howard

19. “[...] for the philosophy of Square rendered him superior to all emotions, and he very calmly smoaked his pipe, as was his custom in all broils, unless when he apprehended some danger of having it broke in his mouth.” - Henry Fielding

20. “If all else fails, stop drop and roll..works for me..:)” - Melissa Mercer

21. “Hey!” Mena exclaimed “Don’t knock Jeopardy. I love that show”“So do I” Max admitted.“I like it when I know the answers.” Logan added.Trent turned to Logan, “Dude, if you hate the show, all you had to do was say so.” - Amanda Kelly

22. “Kope!” the other guy yeled. “What the frick?! You got some cheetah blood in you or what?”“Seriously!” insisted Blake. “How did you run so fast?”“I am African.” Without taking his eyes from mine, Kopano eased himself off me, and I sat up.” - Wendy Higgins

23. “They appear somewhat unreliable," he murmured."Unreliable? Nonsense, Superior! Out of luck is all, and we both know how that goes, no? Why, there's not a man of them I wouldn't trust my mother to.""Are you sure?""She's been dead these twenty years. What harm could they do her now?” - Joe Abercrombie

24. “Whats up home skillet, biscuit.” - Ali Cooper

25. “I hope I know my own unworthiness, and that I hate and despise myself and all my fellow-creatures as every practicable Christian should.” - Charles Dickens

26. “There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids.” - Erma Bombeck

27. “Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.” - Erma Bombeck

28. “A rainy day is like a lovely gift -- you can sleep late and not feel guilty.” - Elizabeth Jane Howard

29. “I may not be perfect, but God knows I'm trying . . . and God knowing should count for something.” - Karen E. Quinones Miller

30. “I can't help but think about things critically. Sometimes it can be a curse. What I wouldn't give every once in a while to be a blithering idiot skipping through life with shit in my pants like it's a goddamned party.” - Justin Halpern

31. “Si el universo fuese un vestido,¿cuál te pondrías esta noche?” - Sonia Fernández-Vidal

32. “O Lord! he concluded, forgive all these trespasses. Lead me not into Penn Station.” - Saul Bellow

33. “You should see the murderous stares I get on the street. Though I think that has less to do with seeing a man carrying a purse and more to do with paisley. Paisley makes everyone cranky.” - Lisa Henry